Talk me out of it?

[vicerexciser]

This is a horrible first post, but I figured maybe some of my fellow addicts could help me since no one else can. Well, just a tiny bit of background. I've been through a decent amount of shit in my life (not saying I'm the only one, but eh). I started popping morphine at 12, then snorting it only a month after that. I snorted anything from Vikes to Dilaudid. When I turned 16, I switched to snorting smack. Then, when I turned 21, my wife put me on the needle. I'm almost 23 now, and have been addicted to opiates for 11 years.

So, the only member of my family I associate with is my brother, because everyone else is crazy. I don't keep friends, just a few fellow junkies I cop dope with. The wife I previously mentioned.... just left last month to attend a one yr rehab program in Florida. Between her and dope... that was basically my life (as pathetic as that is). Now that she's gone, I have no clue what to do. I'm completely lost without her. On top of that, attaining smack was a team effort for us. So, I really don't get high a lot anymore. I don't even get sick, that's how little I do. I don't need it at this point, but my brain says that I do. Anyway, the point of the story is, without my wife, and without getting high everyday like I used to, my bi-polar ass is freaking out. I know she gets out in a year, but I swear I can't wait. And I rarely have horse to act as my coping mechanism. On top of all THAT, my life is pretty sucky. Homeless again, got out of jail recently (again), can't find work as a felon, owe $2000 to probation, constantly in mental and physical pain, and so very alone.

I want to go cop around 6 grams of this really killer dope I get, then load it all up, and have one final shot. Someone, please try to convince my dumbass it's a bad idea. I can't talk to anyone else.

Sorry for the long, whiny post. I banged a couple of opanas and get ranty when I'm this high...

 

[zephyrhigh]

Of course that's a bad idea!
First things first when your wife does get out u know she more than likely won't want to go back to that lifestyle.... that being said u would only trigger her instead of be what she needs you to be for her and vice versa...... second even tho you do very little u still use and there are treatment facilities that help you get things started again for ex: housing, temp jobs, and opportunity to get better options available to you. It all seems shyttynow because it is..... but only u can make it better now.... you have to want this..... the resources are out there.... just go after them..... sorry so short of a reply... Will respond back with more ideas ..... best of luck to you ....

 

[Headless]

I've never dealt with that type of drug, but I'm sure the road I'm on now could lead me there. I hope not. I've been doing meth now for several months
.. And now I know I have Lithium overdose. I've got a lot of the signs.. I'm scared to tell my husband... He took me from crackville 8yrs ago. And been clean awhile.. Off n on I'd dabble in something. But this got me going. I hope the best for you. We all have our demons and truly wanting to give them up is hard.

 

[PotatoMan]

Homeless ----> TDS

 

[herbavore]

You are going to lose the wife if you don't get free of drugs yourself. Like Zephyr said, she is not going to be able to come home to that. Realize what you have and what you risk losing. I know how terrible your life must feel. The isolation is going to be the hardest stumbling block. How about meetings? When my son was court-ordered to go he really resented it but he found one he called, "The bottom after the one you thought you hit" and he felt comfortable there. Find people that are trying. Hang with them. It's so hard on the street. Forget the 2K you owe the courts--they really don't even expect it half the time. You'll have to worry about it when you find a job because then they will, but for now, let that one go. See if you can help out around a homeless shelter. Sometimes you can volunteer to have something to structure your days and keep your mind from chewing on itself and maybe even get a referral from the staff for something that pays after you prove yourself. Just don't give up. It's not your fault that life beat you up so young so make sure you aren't continually blaming yourself for the trajectory its taken so far--just know that you can change it and that you deserve the change. Getting anywhere near the criminal injustice system tends to cement in people's minds that they are powerless. It's bullshit. They can lock your body up but your mind is yours. Hang in there and keep posting. We're here for you.

 

[vicerexciser]

Thanks guys. I guess I am just feeling really beat up and spit on. I should be ok, though. Just can't let it get to me, you know?

 

[neversickanymore]

When you quit and pass through the acutes and paws in under nine months you will feel better 100% of the time then you did 95% of the time when you still were able to get "high".. with were you are now you will feel 100% better then then you feel 100% of the time now.

No easy way out as we all have to pay the piper.. here are some medications that ease the pipers wrath.

medications for acute opiate detox

The medications I would explore the use of for detox would be:
>Clonidine< DOSED EVER FOUR HOURS..

one of either
>NEURONTIN< >HERE< >HERE< >here<
OR >Lyrica<
OR >phenibut<

>A BENZO BUT JUST AT NIGHT<
>a nsaid<
>melatonin<
tylenol
Senokot S is a stool softener and laxative. If you do not want the laxative you can go for strait stool softenerDioctyl sodium sulfosuccinate.

(Opi Withdrawal) what is the best comfort meds for opiate w/d?

Your Personal Opiate Withdrawal Arsenal

Nothing left but misery on the road your driving right now. Well past time to pick a new path.

 

[MelaniaD12]

Don't give up. Your life is too precious. There are too many options regarding prescription meds for you to give up. If you love that woman then be a fkn man and get yourself right so you can take care of her the way she deserves. You BOTH deserve to be happy! Look at the support you have here. Stay strong!

 

[Erikmen]

I agree, life is too precious and sometimes the pain blocks us from seeing further, it kills our hopes and play mind games with your own self.
It seems to me that you already have an idea of what path will lead you to a better and healthy life.
There is no fear greater than the fear itself.
It´s a hard battle no doubts, but you are not alone. You have us, you have your strength that has already proven to work just as you point the direction.
Fight for your life, fight for the valuable you that lies inside your heart and knows what´s best. I have lost many battles myself but found comfort in knowing I can move forward and it all depends on us wanting it to work.
Look up, think positive and move forward. You´ll fell better with time.
Don´t let yourself lose the perspective of who you really are and what you are really capable of doing.
You´ll find help among most of us.
Stay put and good luck!
Erik