Tales of a Corporate Stimulant Dealer

For years I had in my profile that I sold stimulants to yuppies. Meaning of course that I was employed at Starbucks. It was a good time, for the most part, and more or less funded my education (at the expense of not having the time to do my own research or work in my field). In the end it was a crutch, as much social as financial, which I just had to throw away to be able to progress in life-- at least professionally. Was I ready? At the time, no; I spent nearly a year unemployed thanks to my lack of professional experience and the fact that there were little if any jobs in my field locally. Was it the right decision? Hell yes; I would still be working there if I hadn't left then.

Crutch or not though, there were many good times over my time there. I met many great, fun people, and most days just had a riot at work. Hell, for the last three years I pretty well just kept the job so that I could socialize and get paid at the same time.

Getting the idea from RedLeader and inspired by a post from OverDone in TDS, I'd like to share a few of those good times.

The last store at which I worked was in a 'city centre' mall, meaning that it was part of an interconnected series of retail centres at the base of a few of my city's largest office towers. Meaning that it was busy as fuck during the week (during the day at least), but completely dead on the weekend. Since I was a student for most of the time there, I worked most of my hours on the weekends, which gave plenty of time for shenanigans. In addition to the usual showing up for work still high/drunk from the night before, or drinking/smoking/etc at work of course.

One of my favourite coworkers was a 2nd generation hippie who I'll call L. She was a tiny little woman, a couple of years younger than me but with a rambunctious sense of humour and surprising intelligence and knowledge on a wide range of topics. One Sunday, her showing up still drunk from the bar before, and me still up from taking a few pills at a house party, decided to close the store just before the busiest time of the day and go smoke a bowl. This was around 4 years ago, when I was still actively doing these sorts of things. When we returned, there was a group of maybe 15 people waiting angrily outside of the store, but we still made sure to wait a good half-hour after getting back before re-opening. They were pissed, but all we could do was laugh at them. There was another place that sold coffee right next door to us, yet they would rather wait an hour and pay twice as much to get horrible service by obviously intoxicated staff. All but one got drip coffee, and all still left tips. Suckers :)

The rest of the day was spent fashioning a basketball hoop out of stir sticks, attaching it to a wall, and throwing a wadded up ball of napkins and masking tape at it while contrasting existential and solipsist philosophy.

Last I heard, about 8 months ago, is that L had moved to Vancouver. We had kept in touch in a casual way after I left, but my period of unemployment distanced me from many people-- in particular former coworkers--, unfortunately including her. A shame really, since she was the sort of person who could talk about any topic, and provide some excellent insight to boot.

So, does anyone else have a good Starbucks (or other cafe/retail job) story? I have many others, but they'll have to wait for another day.
 
Oh jeez..........I have many.
I wrote about a couple in TDS-
I was a barista for a number of years- (never Starbucks!)
Not sure if you saw the story about the very nose in the air couple who wanted a 'Thai Chi' haha
They really wanted a Chai Tea but were very rude and insistent it was called Thai Chi......
I had a man order two 24 oz iced mochas one time, he pulled off (we were a drive thru) and parked in the parking lot for the view (The shop was on a hill overlooking the San Juan Islands, Vancouver Island and the Olympic Mountains- Best view ever!) ANyway- he and his wife drink their ENTIRE drink, he then struts over and SCREAMS at me that his mocha was TERRIBLE and that I need to tell the owner to buy Starbucks brand coffee! hahaha There are alot of people who started drinking Starbucks, and think that is how espresso should taste.....I am one of those antistarbucks people and prefer deep, delicious espresso served elsewhere! Anyway- had the guy not drank both of his drinks and returned them to me beforehand, I would have gladly given him his money back or remade them- but if they were so 'shitty' why did he drink them all? ;)
There was a morning I opened the shop and the windows had been smashed in and the store broken into.....Glass EVERYWHERE.
The owner made me 'manager' but then anytime I tried to do management things she'd redo them- annnnnoying.
The owner would let the machine die and have us run on half a machine for who knows how long, let the grinder run ointo the ground and had us grinder with home grinders, had a time when the door would get stuck and one time my coworker had an anxiety attack and jumped thru the window.....One window broke in a wind storm and the owner didn't fix it (its been like 3 yrs now since that happened)- The roof tiles blew off and she left them for at least a year- Another window was broken and she boarded it up......It was awful to see an awesome place be run into the ground....sad sad.
Anyway- I have a million barista tales :)
Like this blog Dave.
 
Sweet zombie jesus! I got pissed when the grinder wasn't cleaned properly every week- but having to use a home grinder to make espresso? No no no no no no no no NO! no.

Heh, my personal policy is that if more than three sips were taken from the drink, then it is good enough to be paid for. Drinking any more than that and then demanding a refund or a new drink will cause a customer to be told where to stick said drink. One of the benefits of having worked there for so long was that I was essentially immune to managerial discipline. I went through the management training course in my second year, and in general had worked for the company for two to six times longer than all but the 'oldest' managers. I happily told my last manager essentially that she worked for me when she first started. Great fun.

Despite the good times, I don't go to Starbucks these days, unless I know that I can get it for free. There are just too many good, local places that make far better coffee for the same price.
 
^Yeah- the key is a very fine grind.....hand grinding just doesn't pour good shots......but my boss had her head up her ass, so.....
Actually we were friends, but not. And she lost ALOT of my respect with the whole letting the quality slide thing.......I ried complaining to her but she laughed me off and acted as though she knew better.......
I was pissed b/c instead of a rat tail pour, I had a busted pipe sort of pour, if ya know what I mean :) Ugh. I love working in coffee, miss it, but I'm glad I'm not there anymore.......though I REALLLLY miss the view. I should find a pic of it for you- It was well worth the annoyance to look out at that everyday.......and the best part was the beach I looked at was the one I lived on :) So it took me like 3 minutes to get to work.
 
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