cooljoe202
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Nov 13, 2009
- Messages
- 3
I have never posted here on Bluelight before but have been reading various posts for at least 5 years. I am 26 years old and have lived both in Calgary, Red Deer and more prominently in a small town in Central Alberta. I currently live with my mother and am unemployed and on 16mg of Suboxone daily due to an interest in opioids (and other drugs and how they affect the brain) that went wrong very very fast once I learned about poppy seeds and pods. This portion is a run up to my never ending search for more and more poppy pods through the summer of 2012. I lost my house, I lost my girlfriend of 4 and a half years, and I nearly lost my soul. Here is my story.....
PART ONE:
It started when I was 20 and I had a spinal tap (lumbar puncture or LP) in Foothills Hospital due to a terrible flu that included all the worst things you can think of. After a week of high fever (between 101-105 degrees Fahrenheit or 38-40 degrees Celsius) that included feverish delusions and hallucinations, I called a cab and went to the hospital. I was admitted into emergency almost immediately and they suspected Meningitis since it seemed to be going around at the time and since I was working as a bartender at the time, I was considered high risk. They put me on a bed and had me go into the fetal position while they palpitated my spine assuring me I would be given medication to reduce anxiety and pain. I was surrounded by doctors, nurses and residents at this time while they prepared the site for the puncture and drew up a waiver form. I signed my life away (or more accurately my ability to sue) and suddenly I was alone with one resident and a freaking huge needle.
This is where the fun began. He attempted to gain access to my cerebral spinal fluid (CSF) multiple times and failed. Remember how they had said there would be medication to help me through this procedure? They apparently forgot or the resident decided to go rouge, Ill never know. What ended up happening was excruciating and absolutely unbearable, oh how I screamed. I am not sure but I think that my screaming brought me to the attention of the main doctor on call because the next thing I know this doctor starts yelling at the resident (I do not remember what was said) and the resident left. The doctor then asked me what had happened. I told him he attempted the LP more than three times and caused me incredible pain, I also mentioned I was given no medication whatsoever. He was incensed at this and immediately had me on a morphine drip along with a benzodiazepine (most likely diazepam) to calm me down. He then preformed the LP in less than a minute and had me lay down for an hour or so (things got real hazy here for obvious reasons) to allow the hole to clot. After a while they sent me on my way with a free cab ride home. I went immediately to bed that night around 1 am and slept for maybe 3 hours.
I woke up and had the worst headache of my life. I have had migraines and whiplash headaches before, I have broken my hand punching someone, torn my ACL in both knees and one time my MCL as well. I have had my nose broken twice and fell off a roof onto my rib cage which made breathing a hell in itself. Let me tell you the headache (which I later learned had a name.....post lumbar puncture headache) was more painful than anything I have ever experienced. I was lucky and my best friend happened to be in town at the time and showed up to visit me. He took one look at me and we were off to the hospital again. As I am waiting in line to be admitted I am crying and moaning without being able to control it. I had the entire line of people there (around 15 or so) tell me that I was next in line even though they had obviously been waiting for quite some time. I moved to the head of the line and was then admitted again around 4 hours after I was discharged. At first the doctors and nurses were convinced I was a drug seeker going through withdrawal. I had a hard time speaking and light was my mortal enemy. I wouldn't let them look at my pupils until I had something for the pain. (I later learned as my addiction began to unfold that your pupils are pinpricks when your high on opiates and like saucers when going through withdrawal). By the grace of god the nurse who attended me during the lumbar puncture happened to walk by as the gaggle of doctors and nurses decided what to do with me. She knew what was up and showed them my file or went rouge herself, I will never know. But before I knew it I was being pumped full of fentanyl and pure bliss washed over me. Turns out what had happened was the first guy to try and give me the LP poked too many holes in the base of my spine and this caused my CSF to start draining out. This caused an immense amount of pressure on my brain which explained the headache.
Remember how I said I had the flu? This was still working on me full tilt and I threw up a few times because of the combination of stress, flu and opiates. They decided the best course of action was to send me home with Oxycodone IR 10mg with instructions to take two every four hours. So I went home and spent the next 12 hours in a complete and utter haze. The nausea got so bad that I couldn't keep the pills down and with that my headache returned full force. I went back to the hospital where I was immediately given IV morphine. They were amazed at how much it took to get me to a place that I could speak to them where I was around a 5 on the pain scale. I saw a different ER doc at this point and he prescribed me a ton of Hydromorphone 2mg that was to be dissolved under my tongue. I was instructed to take these as needed and not to exceed 10mg in 6 hours. I went home and slept and woke up because of the headache which was about a 8 out of 10. I quickly reached my dose limit and realized that it was not going to cut it. This is where things get pretty interesting.
I was admitted again (3rd time in less than 48 hours) and they gave me IV morphine again. I stayed over night hooked up to a morphine drip and my family showed up. They remember much more than I do at this point but I was generally doped up and incoherent. They then discharged me with Oxycodone IR 10mg, Oxymorphone (the suppository and I cant remember the dose, likely the lowest or second lowest tier) and Hydromorphone 4mg. They told me to take all of these as instructed on the packages and I never once exceeded what they said. I went home and don't remember anything for the next 24 hours until the headache started coming back. I then returned to the hospital where they again had me on IV morphine and decided I had two courses of action. One was to take caffeine through an IV drip for a couple of hours and the other was to take blood from my thigh and inject it at the base of my spine in hopes it would clot and solve the problem. The second choice was riskier (as in could paralyze me for life) so I chose the first. It worked! I the headache was gone, I was jittery as hell and every part of my body was vibrating but my headache was completely gone! Man was that a relief I remember walking out of that hospital for the 4th time feeling like the world was mine. Little did I know that I would not sleep that night and by the next morning the headache was back with a vengeance.
I returned to the hospital for the 5th and final time and they suited me up for the blood clot procedure. I had the surgeon come and talk to me with the waiver in his hand and he convinced me that I was better off taking the drugs until my body did the fixing itself. After about 15 minutes of deliberation I decided to tough it out and wait a couple of days for my body to do its thing. The doctor then gave me all of what I was prescribed before plus extra Oxycodone (around 100mg) from the hospital stash. I was right to wait because a couple of days later the headache was going away and I was feeling a lot better. Now I am sure you can all see where this is going now. I had a junkies dream stash at home. Enough opiates to kill a couple of horses to be sure. For the next month I kept taking them at higher and higher doses just to get high until one day I ran out. Withdrawal hit and I weathered the storm and about 3 months after the LP I was back to normal, working and going to school.
About 8 months after that ordeal I had a snowboarding accident that left me with a pilonidal cyst that had to be operated on. (This was during reading break) More IV morphine and oral Oxycodone with a bottle of T3's thrown in for good measure. Once the pain abated (a day or two was all it took) I then abused the hell out of my new stash with a girl I was currently seeing. After two weeks they were gone and I was back in Calgary for school. Turned out I had a psychopharmacology class that semester and that's where this story really begins.
Unfortunately I am tired and seem to have typed out a great deal of stuff. I hope this is interesting to some and I will get back to this soon (most likely tomorrow) and type a great deal more if anyone is interested. The first part is mainly an introduction as to why I ended up where I am now, much much more will be explained in Part Two.
PART ONE:
It started when I was 20 and I had a spinal tap (lumbar puncture or LP) in Foothills Hospital due to a terrible flu that included all the worst things you can think of. After a week of high fever (between 101-105 degrees Fahrenheit or 38-40 degrees Celsius) that included feverish delusions and hallucinations, I called a cab and went to the hospital. I was admitted into emergency almost immediately and they suspected Meningitis since it seemed to be going around at the time and since I was working as a bartender at the time, I was considered high risk. They put me on a bed and had me go into the fetal position while they palpitated my spine assuring me I would be given medication to reduce anxiety and pain. I was surrounded by doctors, nurses and residents at this time while they prepared the site for the puncture and drew up a waiver form. I signed my life away (or more accurately my ability to sue) and suddenly I was alone with one resident and a freaking huge needle.
This is where the fun began. He attempted to gain access to my cerebral spinal fluid (CSF) multiple times and failed. Remember how they had said there would be medication to help me through this procedure? They apparently forgot or the resident decided to go rouge, Ill never know. What ended up happening was excruciating and absolutely unbearable, oh how I screamed. I am not sure but I think that my screaming brought me to the attention of the main doctor on call because the next thing I know this doctor starts yelling at the resident (I do not remember what was said) and the resident left. The doctor then asked me what had happened. I told him he attempted the LP more than three times and caused me incredible pain, I also mentioned I was given no medication whatsoever. He was incensed at this and immediately had me on a morphine drip along with a benzodiazepine (most likely diazepam) to calm me down. He then preformed the LP in less than a minute and had me lay down for an hour or so (things got real hazy here for obvious reasons) to allow the hole to clot. After a while they sent me on my way with a free cab ride home. I went immediately to bed that night around 1 am and slept for maybe 3 hours.
I woke up and had the worst headache of my life. I have had migraines and whiplash headaches before, I have broken my hand punching someone, torn my ACL in both knees and one time my MCL as well. I have had my nose broken twice and fell off a roof onto my rib cage which made breathing a hell in itself. Let me tell you the headache (which I later learned had a name.....post lumbar puncture headache) was more painful than anything I have ever experienced. I was lucky and my best friend happened to be in town at the time and showed up to visit me. He took one look at me and we were off to the hospital again. As I am waiting in line to be admitted I am crying and moaning without being able to control it. I had the entire line of people there (around 15 or so) tell me that I was next in line even though they had obviously been waiting for quite some time. I moved to the head of the line and was then admitted again around 4 hours after I was discharged. At first the doctors and nurses were convinced I was a drug seeker going through withdrawal. I had a hard time speaking and light was my mortal enemy. I wouldn't let them look at my pupils until I had something for the pain. (I later learned as my addiction began to unfold that your pupils are pinpricks when your high on opiates and like saucers when going through withdrawal). By the grace of god the nurse who attended me during the lumbar puncture happened to walk by as the gaggle of doctors and nurses decided what to do with me. She knew what was up and showed them my file or went rouge herself, I will never know. But before I knew it I was being pumped full of fentanyl and pure bliss washed over me. Turns out what had happened was the first guy to try and give me the LP poked too many holes in the base of my spine and this caused my CSF to start draining out. This caused an immense amount of pressure on my brain which explained the headache.
Remember how I said I had the flu? This was still working on me full tilt and I threw up a few times because of the combination of stress, flu and opiates. They decided the best course of action was to send me home with Oxycodone IR 10mg with instructions to take two every four hours. So I went home and spent the next 12 hours in a complete and utter haze. The nausea got so bad that I couldn't keep the pills down and with that my headache returned full force. I went back to the hospital where I was immediately given IV morphine. They were amazed at how much it took to get me to a place that I could speak to them where I was around a 5 on the pain scale. I saw a different ER doc at this point and he prescribed me a ton of Hydromorphone 2mg that was to be dissolved under my tongue. I was instructed to take these as needed and not to exceed 10mg in 6 hours. I went home and slept and woke up because of the headache which was about a 8 out of 10. I quickly reached my dose limit and realized that it was not going to cut it. This is where things get pretty interesting.
I was admitted again (3rd time in less than 48 hours) and they gave me IV morphine again. I stayed over night hooked up to a morphine drip and my family showed up. They remember much more than I do at this point but I was generally doped up and incoherent. They then discharged me with Oxycodone IR 10mg, Oxymorphone (the suppository and I cant remember the dose, likely the lowest or second lowest tier) and Hydromorphone 4mg. They told me to take all of these as instructed on the packages and I never once exceeded what they said. I went home and don't remember anything for the next 24 hours until the headache started coming back. I then returned to the hospital where they again had me on IV morphine and decided I had two courses of action. One was to take caffeine through an IV drip for a couple of hours and the other was to take blood from my thigh and inject it at the base of my spine in hopes it would clot and solve the problem. The second choice was riskier (as in could paralyze me for life) so I chose the first. It worked! I the headache was gone, I was jittery as hell and every part of my body was vibrating but my headache was completely gone! Man was that a relief I remember walking out of that hospital for the 4th time feeling like the world was mine. Little did I know that I would not sleep that night and by the next morning the headache was back with a vengeance.
I returned to the hospital for the 5th and final time and they suited me up for the blood clot procedure. I had the surgeon come and talk to me with the waiver in his hand and he convinced me that I was better off taking the drugs until my body did the fixing itself. After about 15 minutes of deliberation I decided to tough it out and wait a couple of days for my body to do its thing. The doctor then gave me all of what I was prescribed before plus extra Oxycodone (around 100mg) from the hospital stash. I was right to wait because a couple of days later the headache was going away and I was feeling a lot better. Now I am sure you can all see where this is going now. I had a junkies dream stash at home. Enough opiates to kill a couple of horses to be sure. For the next month I kept taking them at higher and higher doses just to get high until one day I ran out. Withdrawal hit and I weathered the storm and about 3 months after the LP I was back to normal, working and going to school.
About 8 months after that ordeal I had a snowboarding accident that left me with a pilonidal cyst that had to be operated on. (This was during reading break) More IV morphine and oral Oxycodone with a bottle of T3's thrown in for good measure. Once the pain abated (a day or two was all it took) I then abused the hell out of my new stash with a girl I was currently seeing. After two weeks they were gone and I was back in Calgary for school. Turned out I had a psychopharmacology class that semester and that's where this story really begins.
Unfortunately I am tired and seem to have typed out a great deal of stuff. I hope this is interesting to some and I will get back to this soon (most likely tomorrow) and type a great deal more if anyone is interested. The first part is mainly an introduction as to why I ended up where I am now, much much more will be explained in Part Two.
