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Taking psychs alone, with mental health problems

R

RedRum OG

Bluelighter
Joined
Jul 18, 2009
Messages
3,693
(tl;dr at end)


update at bottom. It's even worse. Please help
Bluelight I come to you in an hour of need. Ive been a member of this site for many years, and a lurker for many more. I've learned through you many things, harm reduction, and learned through my own experience, with many, many different drugs.

I used to grow mushrooms. I've had many experiences with them, as well as legitimate LSD, DMT, weed, salvia, 2cb, etc etc. I have done them alone and with pepple, in many settings. I have seen first hand and read here about what happens when it goes wrong, horribly wrong.

My girlfriend of 2.5yrs now wants to do mushrooms against my advice. She has before and went into a whole "split personality" type psychosis, which she does not remember, after I gave her only 1.2 grams. She has many mental health problems, anxiety, depression, suicidal ideation, suicide attempts/cries for help, borderline personality, a past of abandonment and sexual assault. She can go to elated to suicidal in a matter of an hour. She has not kept up with therapy , though she says she plans to, and seems to think psychs are a shortcut to getting healthy. I don't mean to say that she's crazy, most of the time she does just fine and is a great person at heart. And I love her very much, which is why I'm so worried. Not to mention, only 5 days ago, she got blackout drunk and made some very, very bad decisions. She has blacked out every single time she has had alcohol recently, though every time she promised it wouldn't go to far again. I don't say all this to make her look bad, I just want to paint a full picture

I know how wonderful and enlightening a good trip can be. Ive also seen bad trips tear a person down, never to be rebuilt. Ive done about a hundred trips probably. She will not heed my advice to not do it alone. She will not listen to me about dosing advice. She doesn't seem to think a bad trip is likely, she just thinks I'm being a controlling dick. I am no epitome of mental heslth either, which is why I have made the choice not to trip for the past couple years.

TLDR girlfriend has been depressed and considering suicide for years. She refuses to listen to my (very experienced) advice about set and setting, trip sitter, and dosage. With weed and alcohol she shows a lack of restraint and a need to get obliterated evey time. iam incredibly concerned.

I might have her read this, or just relay some advice.

Please, what should I do
 
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What do you think about this?

Mushrooms are not the right substance. ALD-52 probably is, but only if your friend is willing to agree to your being her guide and these conditions:

Start with 1/4 blotter (30 mics). With no result, a week later try 1/3. With no result, a week later try 1/2, and so on, until she experiences mild psychedelic effects. Add no more than 1/4 blotter at a time after that, never at less than a week's interval. She agrees not to smoke or drink during any session, or trip in public, and to remain in your care physically at all times.

You said "She will not heed [your] advice to not do it alone." Given that, she may not agree to the above, which, it seems to me, is the only reasonable basis for your involvement.

It's hard, I know, but you can't help people who simply won't be helped. And sometimes, keeping out is the kindest [and wisest] thing you can do.

Warmest wishes now and always.
 
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Took LSD 6 times total. My 6th time, I was left alone and the level of intelligence hit me so hard that I lost all joy for life, before LSD I was happy and now after seeing what I perceived as the real work, (alot of cruelty that I never saw, along with being able to "see" life being created in my mind, it feels way more real than before.
But cured most of my depression permanently. Idk man. It's weird.
 
LordofTabs said:
But cured most of my depression permanently. Idk man. It's weird.
Click to expand...

LSD might help, but it might not. It is too unpredictable to be able to rely on its potentially perma-cure effects. And it can have definite deleterious effects for some, particularly the mentally vulnerable.

RedRum said:
Please, what should I do
Click to expand...

Its a tough call. On one hand, I wouldn't want to deny someone this experience as it can be deeply rewarding and I respect the autonomy of all. On the other hand, it sounds like your girlfriend really is not in the right place, or approaching this is a measured and considered manner, and it is in these contexts that things can go badly wrong. At the end of the day, I would probably try and expose her to many diverse sources of information so that she can understand that psychedelics can help, can harm, can often wreak no definite and tangible benefit beyond the memory of a smashing time. Ultimately it is her choice. I would probably try to talk her out of it. I have periodic mental instability where I feel suicidal and delusional and highly anxious, and I've had my girlfriend talk me out of tripping in those instances; especially difficult because, like your g/f, I would sometimes imagine that psychedelics might effect a cure for my current turmoil. I trust my girlfriend, often more than I trust myself, and because this is established I can accept that she might have a better idea of what is right and/or wrong for me, in certain circumstances at least.

Just be there for her- if you want to talk her out of it, use good websites like Bluelight or Erowid, neither of which actively de-emphasise the possible dangers of drugs. Show her the good and the bad, and try an be supportive of her choice. I would be hesitant to provide the drugs but more hesitant to have her supply them herself.
 
This story sounds very similar to what happened to a friend of mine. She had a bad trip on acid at a festival which left her psychotic/delusional but seemed to be slowly getting better or at least not bad enough to interfere with work etc over the period of a year.

She then told me she was growing shrooms and wanted to take them to "fix" or "heal" herself. I tolld her I thought it was a really bad idea and could unhinge her mind further but she didnt listen. She tripped on her own twice with the mushrooms and like i guessed it made her much much worse.

After those 2 trips she was too psychotic to work and kept running away, drinking too much, stressing out everyone around her including family & friends and after a lot of stress, baby sitting, attempted interventions she got sanctioned and spent months in the mental health hospital. She is a lot better now but still not quite herself after all this.

Long story short, mental illness and psychedelics DO NOT MIX in 90% of cases!
 
also look at what is happening each time even with alcohol
blackout.
is this intentional or the result of naturally having too high a baseline.
low threshold or high baseline means she does not need as much (don't worry about why)

I am a lighthead, low baseline type too.

I don't see that much difference between ald-52 and mushrooms, but I agree that the quarter tab or quarter dose is a good approach if she is very committed to doing something. a quarter dose will bring out some of the charm, especially if done in the evening when the lights become more special.

also being there for her to talk to is the biggest part of sharing (and of loving)
 
Thank you guys so much for your helpful, quick replies. Finding other psychs isn't really realistic, not that it'd make much of a difference IMHO. With the alcohol she does have a somehwhat low tolerance but that's not why, she drinks a dickload.

I suggested low dosing too, as I said 1.2g blew her fucking mind, in a bad way, previously. She says she wants to figure out dosing on her own, which to me is saying she wants to go balls deep.

She has no experience with psychs as the only experience was so intense she does not remember. I dont think she (or people in general) really understand the rollercoaster of emotions, the mindfuck and confusion, and the wide range of dark corners it opens in your mind. I try to tell her it's not like weed but she doesn't get hoe powerful psychs are. Like, you can't just wait out a bad trip like yoy wait out getting too drunk or too high. It's just too overwhelming.

I want her to experience this, just maybe after some good time in therapy and learning coping skills. Like, if your emotions are already negative, intense, overwhelming, and unpredictable ... I can't think of a worse set/setting.

The part that bothers me the most is she refuses a trip sitter. Really worrying If she's heroic dosing with no idea what she's in for.

Also kinda hurts my feelings she doesn't want me to trip with her, she doesn't even want me around while she trips. I grew these mushrooms myself a good while ago, and was saving these last few doses for a special occasion. And she took it upon herself to claim them as her own while I was half the country away for a couple days
 
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The possible uncertain advantages are completely outweighed by the huge risks exemplified by a "whole split personality type psychosis". It's hard to accept that there aren't any easy or quick solutions but that doesn't mean any more psychedelic use should be indulged.

I would do everything in my power to convince her to wait for better conditions and to go for the least harmful options possible. Even for relatively healthy individuals mushrooms can have a huge impact, you'll have to make a much better argument about the considerable and serious risks these psychedelics have with a serious mental condition like that.
Address her denial about this for what it is.
 
yeah addressing the denial, in a loving way, non-adversarial, being on-side
- just finding a way to be on-side about any issue, shows care... this will bring out her care, and more likely she will take care.

i.e. caring by example and being a good companion. (need not formalize trip sitting) why not take a quarter dose yourself - there is fun in it.
 
update

She plans to take a fucking boatload. 3.5g !!! she couldn't even handle 1.2g. I grew very potent cubes. My friends and I, very experienced, have never done more than 2.4g of this batch, and that was a little much

I'm very scared. She is going to end up in the hospital, dead, or permanently damaged. I need help,please, please tell her what a bad idea this is, she thinks I'm being a controlling, manipulative dick

God I can't fucking handle this. I've seen drugs ruin so many lives, psychs included. They are beautiful, wonderful gifts from God. But nobody respects them anymore, and this is the epitome of that. I'm freaking the fuck out, in case that wasn't obvious.

I am trying to get my hands on barbiturates or benzos for an emergency but I worry even that won't be enough
 
let her take them. learn her lesson one way or the other. have benzo's on hand. missed the part where you won't be there. Yea, I don't know what to tell ya, that's tough. Also sucks that she stole them from you basically. good luck mate.
 
I'm really tempted to let her learn the hard way but she is so fragile and sensitive I'm worried it'll push her over the edge. She can barely cope with the problems she have now, adding in HPPD, depersonalization, anxiety, etc would be the end as far as I'm concerned. If it were a lower dose I wouldn't be worried but that's at least a +++ level trip, with shrooms this potent and someone that sensitive to drugs im worried she'll go full ego death and never come back.
 
Yea, my cousin did lose his shit on some mushrooms. I remember him calling me all the way from California asking if I'd be at the airport to pick him up. We never had spoke of this. Last I knew he was growing weed in mendocina with his wife.

Apparently he took a pretty strong dose of mush and ended up bringing two random girls back to his trailer while his wife was at work and that was the end of that. On top of his already deep seeded psych issues.
 
It sounds like her decision to do this is possibly a manifestation of her mental health issues. That is some almost grandiose thinking for her to consider a higher dose than you yourself have done. I wonder, though, if she is moreso being defiant in light of your opposition to her plan? Human nature can be pretty perverse.

In truth, I don't know if there is a way to talk her out of this. You could try the emotional blackmail shit, 'if you loved me, you wouldn't do this' but I'd say that will create conflict and you shouldn't manipulate vulnerable people that you love, plus I presume you trip so it would be contradictory.. Can you ask her to compromise and maybe take a much small dose to start with, say 1gram or even less? You don't need to incriminate yourself, but if you are the one would be supplying the mushrooms, why not simply refuse?
 
sounds like she found/took them when he was out of town. I agree that asking her to start small is probably the best way for you to approach it. Give her space if she feels she must trip on her own, but ask if she will have a friend at least be present. There are probably some things she feels she needs to work out and is either a) embarassed to involve you b) it's about you. But again, just suggest she should start small and dose up from there if she really must go for +++
 
oh well
ouch
clean up your place so you do not get a jail term when the shit hits the fan
"no way officer, I don't have any mushrooms, too bad she makes things up as she goes along, nice girl otherwise."
 
Yeah I mean, you can't take the crazy outta someone. You can just watch and try to keep the people around you entertained.
 
Why do you think that she is so insistant and doesn't want a trip sitter?

A case of unfinished business and fear of inadvertently revealing certain personal things? Have you asked her the reason -and would she usually willingly answer in an open and honest manner?
 
Honestly, being harsh about what happened and finding faults in her choices/actions/behavior during, and after, the trip is NOT the way to go. I've preached this since I came on here, but LSD is SUPER strong on the mind and I'd never recommend a full dose to someone new to it. People should start with low doses of the 4 subs or the lighter 2Cs imo. It will take your mind to places you've never gone to while sober, in addition to all of the OEVs and CEVs. The aforementioned substances are known to be easier-going. Huge parts of a trip can be unexplainable because of the severe change in mental faculty. To be this negative and judgmental while having...gone through it yourself is kind of mind boggling to me. What she needs is having someone supportive, understanding and empathetic about what she has just gone through.

People can "keep themselves together" after many experiences and getting used to the "psychedelic state." It takes time, acceptance and perseverance for sure. That's why it's not everyone's cup of tea. If your perception changes, then your entire world changes, and sometimes it can even be impossible to realize this during this phenomenon. If you realize this, then you should be supportive in a delicate manner because that's the type of situation that this is.
 
Anyone with a psych background I would never suggest mushrooms....they are dark and uncontrollable

Suggestions for 1/2 a dose of ald-52 is a good one imo
 
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