OK if it's because you hate life so much then I wouldn't trip, there is a chance perhaps that you will get some epiphany from the trip if you take it without the medication, but there is a severely larger chance that all your emotions, everything that makes you hate life so much will be exacerbated, i.e. get worse.
I would not say that I am opposed to psychedelic therapy, that is not the case - but it only works if you are guided well in the process and have someone there to say if you be on your own now or if there is space for some work to be done, some development - even with psychedelics... you are giving a big sign that it's not the situation, you need to get a grip on stuff first before you get a significant shot at getting things better - you need distance, to process some things, come to terms and get some space to breathe.
Using psychedelics therapeutically without that is very unreliable, there is no telling what might happen.