F
Firsttimetripping
Guest
So on Monday I took LSD for the first time. I am 20 years old and i only took one tab. I left it on my tounge for 30 minutes then swallowed it. I took it around 3 in the afternoon. I was with my 3 friends but I was the only one that took it. At first I was loving it. I first started tripping and hour and a half to 2 hours in while my friend was driving us around and I would look up at the sky and everything started moving. I remember loving it and was blown away with wat I was experiencing. Later that day we went into the woods to walk around. We sat on the bench and smoked some weed I would look out into the woods and let the trip take me, focused into one spot and watch everything around me change. I was amazed. After about an hour of looking at crazy LSD images on my phone and looking at the trees we finished ur second blunt and my mind took a turn for the worst. Out of no where I went from happy to an extreme panic. My body heated up like crazy and i started sweating really bad. I got up and started to walk but for the whole night I was getting really bad thoughts and paranoid about being changed forever because of LSD. Later that night I smoked more weed hoping it would calm me down but my mind kept wondering to the annoying idea that I would be stuck in a LSD trip forver. When I got home is when I really started freaking out. I couldnt sleep and watching TV or reading stuff on my phone didn't make sence. I couldn't even listen to music because it didn't Sound right. I started crying because i was afraid and kept getting on and off Xbox witch was also extremely difficult to play. I wasn't able to focus on the game and just felt lost. It was 4 in the morning and I was about to wake up my parents and tell them I took LSD so I can go to the doctor and get help. I called all my friends so I can just talk to someone so it would distract me from my negative thoughts. After calling each of my friends with no answer my one friend finally picked up and I told him him what was going on and helped calm me down a little but I was still having negative thoughts and was still scared. The morning finally came and I realized how fast the whole night went by. At work I was completely not myself. Kept getting distracted and couldn't really talk to anyone so I had to leave early saying I wasn't feeling good. For the entire day after that I was still feeling confused and "lost" and my brain felt heavy and I was just very uncomfortable. Still having bad thoughts about being stuck on a trip. I was looking up alot of stuff online about my experience and wasn't liking what I was reading. I then saw this one kid who commented on another bluelight thread and said something along the lines of "suck it up man you have to stay strong and positive it's impossible to fuck you up forever you just need to stay positive" and that kind of snapped me out of it. I thenever hurried to leave my house because I felt trapped and I went to hang out with my friends I just kept talking and kept distracting my mind from the dark thoughts and emptiness I was feeling. I started to feel alot better, like I was normal again. later that night I smoked some weed and got really tired. My thoughts were on track and I was very positive and happy for a change. I was liking how I was feeling alot and it was very reassuring. After we were done smoking I went home and watched TV everything was making sense again and I closed my eyes and slept the whole night. The next morning I woke up feeling completely normalost only thing that was different was that I was very happy and had a very positive outlook on life. The mental battle I had gone through I feel like changed my perespective on life for ever but in a good way. Now is a good time to tell you before I took lsd I was never social and was never really good at talking to people I also think I had slight depression and social anxiety or anxiety in general. I was never professionalally diagnosed but I think my symptoms were pretty obvious to me. So for the entire day I was feeling very different but in a good way I was talking to people alot better. I finally felt normal but just slightly changed for the better. I was working completely fine and was able to function and do everything I was doing before but just had a more positive outlook on life. I was honestly loving it i felt like a new person untill later that night I smoke weed again with my friends and my negative thoughts started coming back. I think the weed got me paranoid and brought out some anxiety and I started having those lost thoughts again. I went home and tried going to sleep but I couldn't, my mind kept wandering to places I didn't want it to go. I was having the same thoughts as the first night I took the tab but just not as intense and horrifying. I keep telling myself that I'm okay and I just need sleep because my brain is exhausted but I can't sleep. I keep having bad thoughts of being changed forever. So that's why im here today at 4 in the morning. I can't sleep and need some advice. The only thing Im confused about is that I was loving how I felt the day I woke up after a good night sleep. The positive outlook I had on life was amazing and I was able to function 100% fine but now everything changed again. Anyone have any idea what's going on? I know taking LSD with mental disabilities is bad but I never got professionally diagnosed I always just suspected I had anxiety and depression so it think that's what's causing all of this. I read alot of stuff online with this happening to people before. I feel like I may be suffering from hppd. I just would like some professional advice on what's actually going on with me. And if anyone has any advice on how I can sleep because like I said I was feeling great after a good night sleep last night. Why did these thoughts come back and how can I get them to go away again and go back to having the positive and happy thoughts on life I was feeling this morning