Benzos Taking benzos after being addicted

[Cyanoide]

I'm not sure if this thread belongs here or in BDD so feel free to move it in that case.

I've been addicted to benzos for two periods (10 years on oxazepam, alprazolam, diazepam and clonazepam, in that order) and the second time addicted to RC benzos (about 2 years, mostly diclazepam and flubromazepam). I withdrawed both times, the first time in rehab and the second time I had a doctor that supervised the WD (it was done with oxazepam).

I have sporadically used benzos (diazepam and clonazepam) after the last successful WD. I haven't had any issues (at least not yet) with taking them every now and then. I still feel a bit paranoid every time I've taken them, that they may "activate" WD again. Today I've taken 2.5 mg clonazepam, and I counted that it's exactly 52 days since I last took a benzo. That should be a quite safe margin.

What's your view on taking benzos sporadically (not more often than 2-3 weeks apart) when you have been seriously addicted to them for over 12 years previously? I know most people would advise to avoid them altogether, and I'm very vary of the risks, hence I never take them often. I'm also vary of the risks of psychological dependence, but I have never used benzos recreationally, as I don't find them enjoyable by themselves. I mostly use them for stimulant comedowns and if I'm stupid enough to drink too much I take them for alcohol WD (I do try to avoid drinking too much).

I assume physical dependence is a much greater risk for those who have been dependent? How long would a "safe" margin be between use? 2-3 weeks? I know that e.g. diazepam has a lot of active metabolites (nordiazepam especially) that stay in your system for days, even a week. Which benzos are less prone to tolerance and addiction? I prefer clonazepam as it doesn't have any active metabolites, although the half life is long.

Gosh that was a lot of questions...

 

[subotai]

I'd say it's a terrible idea

your mind is coming up with a thousand reasons to justify using them while avoiding the elephant in the room: you're a drug addict

although if they weren't your DOC there isn't much I could say to persuade you not to use them

benzos make you not care about things though so if I used Benzos I'd probably just not care about doing heroin anymore and would be back to getting high pretty fast

thats my reason for not using them

 

[PriestTheyCalledHim]

It's a terrible idea. You are just going to relapse if you use a drug you are addicted to again. Also, be careful that you do not become addicted to other drugs. Stay safe.

 

[ZacherySwan]

@subtotai
I identify with every post regarding post #1 question, I try to now be very very careful what I say or can be read, on internet.
I agree also with @PriestTheyCallHim IMHO "the mind does not forget" short term gain, long term pain.

I have had more than one face to face with a USA Psychiatrist, this started as a teenager, in the year 1969

My present USA AMA board certified Psychiatrist, has been monitoring my neurological condition, "he inherited me, when
my former USA Psychiatrist, moved out of my area of the USA. In general, I have a fear of Medical Doctors, but, I needed help......
as a arrested development teenager, and, later on, in my middle ages, as a adult. My current M.D. I discovered has been in
a 12 step program, that, I have been in and out of since the 1980's. My Psychiatrist, joined the Bill W and Dr. Bob 12 step
program in the year 1984, and I joined in 1983, but fell out of this 12 step program in 2010. My MD's original sponsor wrote in
the 1976 Big Book "Doctor Alcoholic Addict" and passed on about 15 years ago. (that was the late Dr. Paul O of Laguna Beach
California, USA).

I have a book titled Good Chemistry published by McGraw Hill, in 2004, subtitle "the Life and Legacy of Valium Inventor" Leo
Sternbach. quote page 66 "One of them (patented drugs discovered by Leo Sternbach) continues to be featured on the World
Health Organization's Model List of essential medications. unquote.

When I tried to take under medical supervision, another med discovered by Roche Labs Sternbach, my tolerance quickly returned,
thus I was tapered down slowly over a 3 year time frame, short term gain, long term pain, just my 2 cents worth.

Quote "Sometimes saying nothing is worth a 1000 words" unquote The Dalai Lama

Mods if I have printed something that breaks any rules, please modify or erase my statements.

I still take two controlled substances, again, managed by the same USA Psychiatrist, since January of 1999. I have
been able to reduce the dose very slowly over a decade, but I still take about 1/5 the dose I was on in 1999, as, ( I am
aging, my body).

Adios, buenas tardes !

 

[OntarioGuy]

I have also withdrawn from benzodiazepines successfully two time.

I tapered with diazepam. I have taken clonazepam and alprazolam perhaps 3-4 times in the last 18 months since I got over the physical withdrawal. But I will be avoiding them from now on. That's how I got hooked the second time. I figured I knew better then to allow myself to become physically dependant....didn't work out too good

 

[thelung]

Don't take benzodiazepines anymore! It's so easy to go from taking them occasionally to having an addiction. Be careful

 

[Forever Jung]

If the part of your brain that says you are going to take them wins the day, I wholly recommend letting a trusted friend/lover hide them in a super secret place. This will force you to consult your 'de facto' pharmacist before you start to slide out of control. I was addicted to alpraz bad when I thought it would be cool to get the API powder and make my own propylene glycol solution. That ended in a nightmare. Its been about three years since I was in physical w/d's from that, and have since gotten myself hooked on heroin. I have recently decided to kick the opiates and sourced myself 10 xan pressed bars as a comfort drug for my opiate w/d. My beautiful life partner hides and dispenses them them for me and I go in the other room when she retrieves them. I'm about 2 weeks in now and have only taken 125ug (1/8th mg) about three times since I got them. This works for me. YMMV

 

[Dizzyshell83]

Hi I'm new so please excuse any errors . This is a situation I'm in myself OP. I'm an addict herion I've not taken herion for 14 years and never will . I'm on
Subutex 16mg daily I've been on them since the last day I took herion . I've kind of been left to my own devices from drug services who supply my subutex . I've no addiction to opiates or desire them , I'm just stuck on subutex and to me they're like taking an aspirin there's no high . Anyway back to the original subject- I've been on benzodiazepines on and off since the day I told my doctor I was addicted to herion ( I was 15) the doctor sent me on my way with methadone and diazepam script . I've never abused benzodiazepines ever until last year . I needed some Valium because I wanted some courage and I found a vendor and he's spot on very legit products and I'd trust him with any amount of money . Anyway I started popping Valium most days and that turned into weeks and weeks turned into months. I asked for some Valium off my vendor one day and he was out of diazepam so he said try clonazepam 2mg well I didn't read up on doses instructions before I took them . I thought 2mg clonazepam was equal to 2mg diazepam cuz I'd never tried any other benzo other than temazpam . So I took 10 x 2mg clonazepam and I don't remember a thing that day but my boyfriend changed towards me and I was embarrassed cuz I didn't know what I did . I ended up in psychiatric ward I've EUPD anyway but I loved the buzz of feeling free and I kept buying clonazepam then xnanx and I was taking stupid amounts popping 4mg bars xnanx every few hours and popping 5 plus 2mg clonazepam . I was a mess I couldn't talk properly I couldn't walk properly or write properly everyone knew I was high even a shop assistants . I once woke up on my kitchen
Floor of been there 2 days . I was carted off to psychiatric ward again I took my 4mg bars and I stupidly dropped them in the bathroom and another patient handed them in and told the nurse they weee mine . My dad and my family were washing their hands with me because I was being nasty I was a pain in the arse I really behaved disgusting. I stopped using then and i was already on a diazepam script legally only 8mg a day but I used them to wean myself down and I sailed through withdrawals and I lasted 9 months but the doctor stopped my diazepam script and my zolpidem script so I had no energy supply so I got some off my old vendor I tried them and the next weekend I tried them again and now I've brought xnanx and clonazepam again and I'm so angry with myself I'd lose everyone if they knew . I haven't touched xnanx or clonazepam and haven't taken diazepam in 2 weeks either. OP your an
Addict to you'll over indulge like I've done so stop now like me before it's to late. There's never a one off . Please learn from mistakes x

 

[Dizzyshell83]

I'm sorry I mean I had no emergency supply anymore when my doctor stopped prescribing me diazepam . I also didn't buy any benzodiazepines for 9 months and was free of benzodiazepines for 7 months until recently stated above .

 

[katamaranas]

I feel sorry for you as I spent 1 year detoxing from benzos, subutex and lots of other shit like lyrica,venlafaxine (crack cocaine speed alcohol heroin and everything I could put my hands on),just want you to know that 16ml hell of a dose (I tappered to 12 before reehab) and it is opiat and w/d lasts for fucking 2 months.I dont know how old are you but I'm 34 this months,18 years of addiction,prisons,psichiatric clinics and so on,I fucked up my life seriously.I still was comming back to codeine once a week or benzo,but feeling of guilt,shame and fear that I am lapsing is always much stronger then the buzz.Go to reehab do ibogaine or ayahuasca after,grow mush and consume it,it helps just stay safe