Taking a vow of silence.

[B1tO'RoughJack]

expressing yourself is what i mean...

i could type wildly and spend quite a bit of energy doing so.

think about what you say about yourself; what others say about you; what you honestly feel about yourself; and how what you feel about yourself is ruled by what others think about you.

what do you dictate to others to have them and yourself believe that way?

how much of that is what you are with out making others believe it by speaking, and not allowing the reciprocation of action to take its place.

I know exactly what you mean - I thought you were going to say this too.

that's kind of my point though too - I found I wasn't expressing myself wildly at all - everything I wrote when I was calm was crisp and clear, because in my head I heard it clearly, with no chatter. Admittedly when I got annoyed/upset about being messed around for money, when I wrote a letter to the person, it got a bit fiery and like I was talking again, but generally I found it to be a much better way of communicating.

I agree that conversations are full of ego - personally I'm not ready to let go of mine just yet, I've only just found it for real, so I want to play with it before I let it go - like many things I know will come naturally with the progression of my sadhana - they all need to be let go though.

I was surprised, though, just how much my ego wasn't as attached as much as I thought it would be, it humbled me in many aspects, this silence.

Look forward to my next bout, because ultimately I don't know yet where it will lead - it's very exciting.

 

[Changed]

Thanks Changed, I'd really appreciate it if you could send me the information you have! What was it like at the Zen Mountain Monastery? I came across it whilst doing some research, it certainly is beautiful!

Gypsy, I've done silent retreats before so I can give you some guidance.

Before you dedicate yourself to something long-term, I recommend looking up silent retreat centres near you. A very common one is the Vipassana Centre. They have free retreats all over the world that last 8 days at a time, while providing you with free food and lodging. (Their organization is non-profit and works by donation.) They are the most non-koolaid organization I've done silent retreats with... the others I've done are not worth mentioning.

I've been to Tibet proper, Nepal, and India. Forget about Tibet. It's not even Tibet anymore, it's China. It's overrun by Han Chinese from the East and has been so reformed and regulated by the Communists that you won't even get to experience Tibetan spiritual practices in their original form. You also can't enter Tibet without a licensed government tour guide which you have to pay for, and this guide will make sure that you are only exposed to Chinese government propaganda. Most of the monasteries there have government agents embedded among the monks to make sure "controversy" doesn't happen, as there is a recent history of annual protests held by the remaining monks.

Tibetan culture is now in India (Dharmsala) and Nepal. If you are really hung up on maybe meeting the Dalai Lama or his disciples, you could go to India, but it is so overrun by tourism and global parishoners now that the effects of the resulting support industries has made it feel too distracting. Also, and no offense to people from that part of the world, but India is a dump. You have to deal with complete and utter chaos in order to get to your destination, and in Dharmsala you will be hounded endlessly by touts selling useless Buddhist merchandise.

This leaves Nepal, which in my opinion is your best bet. It's not as popular and commercialized yet as the other two options are. You can even do the whole Himalayan monastery meditation thing there, if you are really hung up on stereotypes. The environment near the mountains is cleaner than Dharmsala, and because Buddhism is a dominant faith in Nepal, you can find opportunities for practice virtually everywhere.

And that leads me to my last point... you don't need to go to the other side of the world to experience silent retreat and inner peace. You can do it anywhere. That is the whole point of what Buddhism teaches. No matter where you are on planet Earth, the tools of your enlightenment are all around you. Ultimately, meditation teaches you to quiet the mind/ego and sink into Emptiness and stillness. When that happens, the external world basically ceases to exist. Given that, it doesn't matter where you do it, so why bother dishing out thousands of dollars to go to some foreign land?

I got so sick in Nepal from malaria that I almost died. I don't regret going at all, I had a wonderful time aside from that. My point is, you will be exposing yourself to way more distractions being in a completely new place. You can benefit better from doing a silent practice right where you are.

This pretty much sums up what I was going to progress towards. You really don't need to go anywhere, but some people can't accept that (I being one of them for a long time).

 

[Changed]

^absolutely a vipassana retreat.

have you done this changed? i can hardly imagine being in a monastery with so many dozens of others meditating, inhaling and exhaling breath all in time
~

that is an orchestra of life.

Om Mani Padme Hum

What was it like at the Zen Mountain Monastery? I came across it whilst doing some research, it certainly is beautiful!

Yes, Zen Mountain Monastery was a really beautiful experience. The meditation hall can hold close to 100 people, and we sat at 4am when the first rays of sun beaming down on us as we did about an hour of meditation. Doing meditation alone is great, but being surrounded by so many people with the same aim, in such a harmonizing setting (a huge wooden zendo, surrounded itself by woods and mountains on all sides) was phenomenal.

A weekend of the introductory session costs a couple hundred dollars (ehh... not a big fan of paying for meditation, etc...) but if you call and tell them you can't afford it, they'll give you a largely discounted free, and let you come a day early and work off the difference-- I found the day of working silently in the kitchen, zendo, and around the grounds to be very enjoyable.

best of luck on your path

 

[webbykevin]

i love it, just walking around and watching life happen as it always does. everyone and everything gains this innocent interaction amongst each other; as horrible and intentional as it can be, the real cause and effects are not known. that innocence overrides the ugly though, and everything does become beautiful when it is allowed.

That's brilliant.

 

[B1tO'RoughJack]

I went to this festival over the weekend - beautiful vibes - and I remembered our discussion here about ego involvement when conversing - firstly noticing other people's ego projections, but then when I bumped into a friend I haven't seen in about 2 years I was horrified, when my bigheaded ego jumped out of my mouth on 2 occasion, post-de-facto...

It's amazing - I had never thought of it in the context of mouna particularly, because during my silence I actually surprised myself, by not being egotistical about doing it - one person (an alcoholic) in my village pointed out that it was just attention seeking - totally not true, and what was funny is I realized just how much he was projecting, because I was ssilent, and I only had my intuition and a few choice written words.

Just read that "silence is golden etc" excerpt - great stuff, PiP bhai. :D