memphis10
Bluelighter
sorry, alot will probably be spewed here, and may not be in exact order or occurences, but im going to try
so im pretty much the worlds biggest fucking junkie. im 23, got on the dope when i was 17, and have dug myself into hole after hole ever since
up until the beginning of the month i had everyone fooled. i had gotten a decent job, rented my own place, everyone thought i was clean, and i was for the MOST PART. i had moved from raleigh to charlotte (3 hours) after breaking up with my ex around xmas and moved back in with my mom. i had no solid connects in charlotte and that stayed that way up until recently. everyone was so proud of me that i was doing so good, and all of a sudden everything fell apart. and its all heroin.
i had been using overpriced pain pills/xanax maybe once or twice every two weeks, and managed to not be getting sick. in the past ive come off of almost 2g of tar a day or around a G of high quality powder, been on suboxone for lengthy periods, methadone at 17...i know my brain chemistry and knew if i used 3x in a week, i would be sick. for a while i did ok.
i was having stress at work (small business, dick boss, douche co workers, working 60-70 hours a week mandatory in a warehouse) and i got a call that i needed to fly back to memphis because my grandpa was about to pass. flew to my dads. slept at the hospital the first night. next day made a call and copped 3 bags of dope. that night i go to put my 6 year old sister to bed and go to watch a movie with her to fall asleep, do a 2 bag shot in my bathroom, and fucking OD in her bed. dad flies me back home the next day/grandpa passes the day after. i missed it and the funeral and totally alienated that entire side of my family in memphis. totally outcast.
one of the guys i was renting a house with got relocated for work out of the blue and we lost the house we were renting. so i had to move back in with my mom. literally the day i moved back in i took a new job at a roofing company. there i met a dope connect and it started. first once every few days, it got to every day quick. by this time im getting sick and when im getting sick i make horrible decisons.
i have burned my family over and over and over. making them think im clean and then just totally fucking up. so im living with mom and of course my new job falls through so i am addicted, jobless, and now $less. and then one night i fucking fall out (ate way too many xannies)...so now im homeless.
were around the 4th of july now. im squatting in the house i talked about at first, parking out of the neighborhood and sleeping in my old bedroom on the carpet. me and new girlfriend break it off (unimportant i guess, but ill post a pic, she was kinda a keeper). im broke and hustling what i can and spending my nights trying to steal fucking immodium from walmart because im so fucking sick.
ex gf from raleigh and me (she still had been using) calls me and tells me shes unhappy with her current bf and shes got some $ and we decide were gonna jump up and move to portland, or. grow some weed or something, just anything to get out of NC. she comes in town and her DJ brother is throwing a rave so i order a buncha RCs (5apb, mxe, 4fa, phenazepam, etizolam) and we get em. shoot alot of dope. i had them mailed to the house i was squatting in, ordered the shit a day before she got in town, we got a hotel room the day she got there, the next day i go to pick the shit up i pull up to the house and the fucking landlord is in the driveway. we moved out at the beginning of may and i had been going there since to shoot up and deal with no probs (landlord lived in VA)...so now i know im fucked. thankfully since the house was sposed to be vacant the mailman wouldnt deliver and i got my package just by seeing the truck in the neighborhood and going up to it.
so me and ex gf are holed up in the hotel. me and this ex gf have a HORRIBLE history. were together almost 2 years, engaged, pregnancy drama (ended it), ran a fucking dope empire together, eventually it all crashed and burned with her stripping and whoring and us living in her folks attic. oh and us breaking up involved her trying to kill me and her going to jail for domestic violence (i didnt call the cops. her gf did, i couldnt hit a girl and was just taking a beating, she was drunk, whatever, ended bad, families wanted us nowhere near each other). the night before the rave we are just chillin, and she i guess decided she wanted to get back with her ex. big fucking deal. i was just using her because she had $, i had no emotional attachment, plus i had just broken things off with a current girl (lightyears better). she kept going out in the hallway to talk to him (this is in a shady hotel in charlotte known for drugs n whoring) and one time she walked out and walked back in and announced "i made a friend!"
so in walks ex with a 21 year old girl. stripper just like the ex. apparently she was in a crackhouse that got raided and the cops didnt want to leave pretty white girl in the hood so they took her to hotel. she had about an 8ball and probably a quarter of crack. so we proceed to shoot all the coke all night. start smoking crack (i am not a crack smoker). 5apb goes down the hatch. mxe.
i guess this is sposed to be all good because now my exs EX BF is on his way from raleigh to charlotte to go rave with us. and i guess its all good now bc crack head stripper likes me and so its like a double junkie date kinda. me and new stripper get a room together. not before exes ex bf dosed me with damn near half a 10 strip of some GREAT L.
WELL apparently the next morning, $1400 is gone out of my exs purse. of course she knew it wasnt me, it was this new girl (who i was now banging and junkie bonding with). she had taken too much etizolam or phenaz or mxe or something...had been passed out...woke up still fucked up, and fucking called the cops to me and new girls hotel room.
quick thinking by me kept the fucking cops out but long story short they got me with 4 dirty needles so...possession charge...straight to jail. this is after a day and night of dope, 5apb, mxe, etizolam, half a ball of powder coke, prob 2g of iv crack with vinegar, and smoked crack...lets just say 4 days in jail kicking from that was NOT fun.
spent a few days in jail, got out, spent 2 days on the street and then called moms. she put me in a detox and i stayed there for 4 days and now im home. im going to a halfway house tomorrow. i have 14 days clean. im not on any sub or methadone. i havent smoked a joint or had a sip of booze. CLEAN. still cant sleep for shit. still feel like wding. im about 70%.
i have nothing anymore. my car is trashed and has no tags. my bank account is overdrawn. im facing bullshit misdemeanor charges (gonna be all good). family is very upset. cell phone is broke. half my fucking clothes are gone. still WDing.
but im gonna be okay. i have been getting FUCKED up since i was 13. so thats 10 years now. im tired of jonesing for shit. i just want to be able to get a nights sleep without a chemical and wake up in the morning and actually feel good. i have been king of a mountain of pussy for a while (and i may post some decent pics here when i get some time, unfortuately im on a macbook and im a windows guy and its hard to save files and upload em to my photobucket because theres not even a fucking right click on this thing but whatever, if this thread goes NSFW ill tag it).
i will keep u updated
these are the things i have lost, or some visual aid to my story
me (memphis10)
*snip*While an interesting idea, we don't allow triggering pictures such as someone using drugs; nor do I think it would be appropriate for your ex-girlfriends to be posted here without consent and, for one, negative comments left about her. I can let you put your own face up!
Be well ~ Vaya
thats all for now.
yall be good
find a way or fade away
so im pretty much the worlds biggest fucking junkie. im 23, got on the dope when i was 17, and have dug myself into hole after hole ever since
up until the beginning of the month i had everyone fooled. i had gotten a decent job, rented my own place, everyone thought i was clean, and i was for the MOST PART. i had moved from raleigh to charlotte (3 hours) after breaking up with my ex around xmas and moved back in with my mom. i had no solid connects in charlotte and that stayed that way up until recently. everyone was so proud of me that i was doing so good, and all of a sudden everything fell apart. and its all heroin.
i had been using overpriced pain pills/xanax maybe once or twice every two weeks, and managed to not be getting sick. in the past ive come off of almost 2g of tar a day or around a G of high quality powder, been on suboxone for lengthy periods, methadone at 17...i know my brain chemistry and knew if i used 3x in a week, i would be sick. for a while i did ok.
i was having stress at work (small business, dick boss, douche co workers, working 60-70 hours a week mandatory in a warehouse) and i got a call that i needed to fly back to memphis because my grandpa was about to pass. flew to my dads. slept at the hospital the first night. next day made a call and copped 3 bags of dope. that night i go to put my 6 year old sister to bed and go to watch a movie with her to fall asleep, do a 2 bag shot in my bathroom, and fucking OD in her bed. dad flies me back home the next day/grandpa passes the day after. i missed it and the funeral and totally alienated that entire side of my family in memphis. totally outcast.
one of the guys i was renting a house with got relocated for work out of the blue and we lost the house we were renting. so i had to move back in with my mom. literally the day i moved back in i took a new job at a roofing company. there i met a dope connect and it started. first once every few days, it got to every day quick. by this time im getting sick and when im getting sick i make horrible decisons.
i have burned my family over and over and over. making them think im clean and then just totally fucking up. so im living with mom and of course my new job falls through so i am addicted, jobless, and now $less. and then one night i fucking fall out (ate way too many xannies)...so now im homeless.
were around the 4th of july now. im squatting in the house i talked about at first, parking out of the neighborhood and sleeping in my old bedroom on the carpet. me and new girlfriend break it off (unimportant i guess, but ill post a pic, she was kinda a keeper). im broke and hustling what i can and spending my nights trying to steal fucking immodium from walmart because im so fucking sick.
ex gf from raleigh and me (she still had been using) calls me and tells me shes unhappy with her current bf and shes got some $ and we decide were gonna jump up and move to portland, or. grow some weed or something, just anything to get out of NC. she comes in town and her DJ brother is throwing a rave so i order a buncha RCs (5apb, mxe, 4fa, phenazepam, etizolam) and we get em. shoot alot of dope. i had them mailed to the house i was squatting in, ordered the shit a day before she got in town, we got a hotel room the day she got there, the next day i go to pick the shit up i pull up to the house and the fucking landlord is in the driveway. we moved out at the beginning of may and i had been going there since to shoot up and deal with no probs (landlord lived in VA)...so now i know im fucked. thankfully since the house was sposed to be vacant the mailman wouldnt deliver and i got my package just by seeing the truck in the neighborhood and going up to it.
so me and ex gf are holed up in the hotel. me and this ex gf have a HORRIBLE history. were together almost 2 years, engaged, pregnancy drama (ended it), ran a fucking dope empire together, eventually it all crashed and burned with her stripping and whoring and us living in her folks attic. oh and us breaking up involved her trying to kill me and her going to jail for domestic violence (i didnt call the cops. her gf did, i couldnt hit a girl and was just taking a beating, she was drunk, whatever, ended bad, families wanted us nowhere near each other). the night before the rave we are just chillin, and she i guess decided she wanted to get back with her ex. big fucking deal. i was just using her because she had $, i had no emotional attachment, plus i had just broken things off with a current girl (lightyears better). she kept going out in the hallway to talk to him (this is in a shady hotel in charlotte known for drugs n whoring) and one time she walked out and walked back in and announced "i made a friend!"
so in walks ex with a 21 year old girl. stripper just like the ex. apparently she was in a crackhouse that got raided and the cops didnt want to leave pretty white girl in the hood so they took her to hotel. she had about an 8ball and probably a quarter of crack. so we proceed to shoot all the coke all night. start smoking crack (i am not a crack smoker). 5apb goes down the hatch. mxe.
i guess this is sposed to be all good because now my exs EX BF is on his way from raleigh to charlotte to go rave with us. and i guess its all good now bc crack head stripper likes me and so its like a double junkie date kinda. me and new stripper get a room together. not before exes ex bf dosed me with damn near half a 10 strip of some GREAT L.
WELL apparently the next morning, $1400 is gone out of my exs purse. of course she knew it wasnt me, it was this new girl (who i was now banging and junkie bonding with). she had taken too much etizolam or phenaz or mxe or something...had been passed out...woke up still fucked up, and fucking called the cops to me and new girls hotel room.
quick thinking by me kept the fucking cops out but long story short they got me with 4 dirty needles so...possession charge...straight to jail. this is after a day and night of dope, 5apb, mxe, etizolam, half a ball of powder coke, prob 2g of iv crack with vinegar, and smoked crack...lets just say 4 days in jail kicking from that was NOT fun.
spent a few days in jail, got out, spent 2 days on the street and then called moms. she put me in a detox and i stayed there for 4 days and now im home. im going to a halfway house tomorrow. i have 14 days clean. im not on any sub or methadone. i havent smoked a joint or had a sip of booze. CLEAN. still cant sleep for shit. still feel like wding. im about 70%.
i have nothing anymore. my car is trashed and has no tags. my bank account is overdrawn. im facing bullshit misdemeanor charges (gonna be all good). family is very upset. cell phone is broke. half my fucking clothes are gone. still WDing.
but im gonna be okay. i have been getting FUCKED up since i was 13. so thats 10 years now. im tired of jonesing for shit. i just want to be able to get a nights sleep without a chemical and wake up in the morning and actually feel good. i have been king of a mountain of pussy for a while (and i may post some decent pics here when i get some time, unfortuately im on a macbook and im a windows guy and its hard to save files and upload em to my photobucket because theres not even a fucking right click on this thing but whatever, if this thread goes NSFW ill tag it).
i will keep u updated
these are the things i have lost, or some visual aid to my story
me (memphis10)
*snip*While an interesting idea, we don't allow triggering pictures such as someone using drugs; nor do I think it would be appropriate for your ex-girlfriends to be posted here without consent and, for one, negative comments left about her. I can let you put your own face up!
Be well ~ Vaya
thats all for now.
yall be good
find a way or fade away
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