• 🇳🇿 🇲🇲 🇯🇵 🇨🇳 🇦🇺 🇦🇶 🇮🇳
    Australian & Asian
    Drug Discussion

    Welcome Guest!
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules
  • AADD Moderators: Tronica

tackling the big issues.... when should you step in??

muzby

muzby

Bluelighter
Joined
Feb 12, 2001
Messages
5,517
Location
melbourne - SE suburbs
picture the scenario...

you are walking along, minding your own business...

when you see a guy and a girl arguing....

the guy starts getting physical with the girl....

do you a) step in or b) keep on walking....



the question is, do you know the full story, and is it any of your business to help?

yes, its not nice to see violence against women, but what if in fact the girl is in the wrong... what if she was off to do harm against herself or someone else, and the only way for the guy to restrain her was to be forceful??

or... what if they guy actually had mates around, and when you tried to step in, you get beaten up etc? so should you just call the cops instead??



no.. i haven't had this situation lately, but i thought it would be interesting to see others views on this...


discuss??
 
the fact that you cannot make an accurate assessment of the situation within the amount of time it takes to react means you should keep on walking
 
^^ but how would you feel if it was your sister or someone you knew in that situation, and someone just kept on walking??

(not having a go.. just fostering discussion :D)
 
what if they're not arguing, and then all of a sudden you spot violence?

[vaguely similar anecdote] many moons ago i was walking home one evening and got cut off by some drunk guy wanting to pick a fight, and i didn't even have to open my mouth before he was pulling his fist back to swing at me.

i ran as fast as my little legs would carry me away, but it sure would have been nice to have someone step in and stop the guy. [/anecdote]

biased or no, i think the notion of "what constitutes stepping in" here is important. if you're going to step in and instantly give the brutal chap a delightful black eye, then no, i don't think you should step in, violence doesn't solve violence. but if you're prepared to step in with a few words and just ask both parties if they need the police called or something to that extent, it's a nicely chivalrous act.
 
Being a shoot-first-ask-questions-later hero is a great way to make a fucking mug of yourself very quickly. Also, why don't we make it a little less horrifically stereotypical and for the sake of argument say what happens if we see oh, say, two girls having a fight, or two guys? Or a girl hitting a guy?

To be perfectly frank this is one of the best ways I know of to get TWO people trying to kick the shit out of you, you'd be amazed at how many people will not only not be greatful you saved them a fight, but will attempt to extend the fight to you. If you like feeling like a big man through getting into fights with total strangers, then this is a sterling way to go about it.

Observe the situation, if its clearly out of hand consider intervening, otherwise, keep out of it or risk getting a smack upside the head for no good reason apart from your own big nose.

-plaz out-
 
muzby said:
^^ but how would you feel if it was your sister or someone you knew in that situation, and someone just kept on walking??

(not having a go.. just fostering discussion :D)
Click to expand...

my sister is the type of moron who would start an altercation, so it's a bad example :D
 
I think it would be very poor form to simply ignore the situation and let them sort it out for themselves. In fact, I think it's indicative of the type of society we live in that people think it would actually be better to keep walking.

Wouldn't you rather make sure the girl is okay instead of just hoping for the best? You can approach a situation like that without seemng confrontational and it would be fairly easy to ascertain whether she did actually need help or not.

As for two guy's fighting, unless one guy was significantly smaller than the other guy and getting beaten up quite badly I wouldn't intervene.
 
I think it is hard to guage unless it is already out of hand just how you should handle it, or if it's just about to smooth out. But violence is fucked and mates or no mates, there's no honour in being a hero over your ego but plenty in being a hero for some one else. I have many times stopped fights in clubs, on the street, at parties, at HOME!, etc. while some others just watch and probably hope there's a fight. Nup, there's no need to get riled up like some people do!
 
If there's violence about to be initiated or already in progress, I'd step in.

I really cant envisage ANY situation where violence against the woman is justified. That being said I wouldn't exactly charge in fists flying, it would be more an attempt at restraining the guy (or both)
 
I'm with plaz...people can be totally vicious with each other but then present a completely unified front against a well-meaning third party...

I would watch long enough to decide whether someone's actually in danger before I'd jump in...if a couple wants to have their domestics in public, more power to 'em as long as nobody gets hurt..
 
id probably just make a joke about them being rednecks and wouldnt bother stepping in.

what happens if u miss interpret the situation step in, and for some reason do serious damage to the guy? be it in self defence or by accident trying to restrain him.

i dont know, i got enough problems of my own. i dont need to be sorting out other peoples shit.
 
potato said:

I really cant envisage ANY situation where violence against the woman is justified. That being said I wouldn't exactly charge in fists flying, it would be more an attempt at restraining the guy (or both)
Click to expand...

Just to play devil's advocate potato, what if the woman had hit him first, and perhaps you walked by after this ocurrence. I know this doesn't per se "justify" the guy hitting back at her, but it certainly would be valid provocation (especially if she has a mean right hook ;))

I think this is an extremely tricky situation. I myself, knowing that I couldn't possibly restrain/attack the guy, would probably hang around a bit, like Raz said, to ascertain where it was going, and maybe go for help or call the police or something?

Gosh, I don't really know...I know it sounds like a cop-out but it's really something that needs to be seen to be contextualised and judged on an ad hoc basis.
 
Depends on whether I was physically able to restrain the bloke myself- very unlikely.

Making a joke of the situation would be extremely bad form 8( 8(

I have been in this situation before with some neighbours who were physically violent with each other. I just made it clear at that time I was dialling the police on my phone and he stopped hitting her.
 
Originally posted by Mary Poppins
Gosh, I don't really know...I know it sounds like a cop-out but it's really something that needs to be seen to be contextualised and judged on an ad hoc basis.
Click to expand...

I agree essentially with the above, however, i think in most situations that seem to be rollercoastering towards violence, stopping and checking if police are needed is the very least you can do. 9/10 times this would either defuse the situation or at least provide enough of a distraction that the person being attacked could leave, seek alternate help etc.

I would only ever personally 'step in' to a situation if someone was getting seriously assaulted, and the attacker just wasn't going to stop hitting/molesting etc.
 
In all selfishness, it would entirely depend on "my" mood at the time.

I'd judge the situation on various reasons also - such as how these people looked, what they wore, etc...

If it was a pair of (obvious) drug addicts (for arguements sake), I probably wouldn't bother.

Otherwise, I'd most likely do something to try and break it up. Well... unless it seemed like I might come out of the fight seriously deformed. Hey, I don't wanna be on the bad side of some psychopath. Is there time to call a friend? :p ;)

I'm not the best fighter in the world and probably would struggle against 'most' fully grown men, however as long as the chick had a bit of "oomph" (and the guy wasn't some kick ass fighter), it shouldn't be too much of a problem.
 
Last edited:
Domestics are the worst things ever to get in the middle of. I'd probably observe from a distance and mabey go and help if things got way out of hand, like if one person hit the ground and the other looked like they were going to give em the boot.
 
There are very few violent situations that I would intentionally step into. I've retained that fear of strangers from childhood (no bad experiences but perhaps my parents were a bit full on with the whole "stranger danger" thing) and would be petrified to approach people I didn't know if it appeared to be a tense scenario.
That said, doing nothing wouldn't be right either. If things looked as though they were getting out of hand or dangerous, the first thing I'd do is call the police. One would assume that if this was going on in a public place, other passers by would also show some concern.
For me though, passing someone who might be in trouble and ignoring it is just not an option. There is always something you can do without putting yourself in danger.
 
just say "oi whats goin on here" if they tell u to fuck off fuck off if someone yells for help then help if ur a pussy call the cops

DONT WALK AWAY

its just one of those things you'll regret
 
i reckon just stand and watch... if there is a problem, either he... will turn and go.. what the fuck are you looking at fuckwit... OR she will scream for help,. this is where you step in...
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top