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tackling the big issues.... should you be allowed to smack your kid???

That sounds better. :)

When I get children of my own, I'll do everything I can before I even contemplate to hit the child even lightly.

Mind you, I'm totally against hitting anyone in general.
 
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Personly i think its ok, probs cause my parents thought so to.
Watchin Other families ( be it on tv or in real life ) where u see the child talk to there parents with such ... such .. (cant think of the word, stuck up sort of rude attitude?) and the parent just sits there and trys to talk to them about it, really gets me ( thoughts like "JUST SMACK EM, that'll get the point across" cross my mind ).
of course there are limits, and appropriate and inappropriate times .. thats where my argument falls a lil short, where one thing seems appropriate for one family but might be completly inappropriate for another ??? go fish ?
 
if i had a dollar for everytime my folks took the belt to my ass, id be rich :)

i dont know how good a thing it is, it didnt really teach me "right from wrong", though it did teach me one very good rule, "caught doing the wrong things, and its going to hurt" hah.

me and my brothers got up2 abit of shit when we were younger, no matter how hard and often we got the belt, it didnt really change our behaviour.

tho i definately dont believe in this hippy, cuddles way of raising kids :P i agree with muzby, young kids cant really reason.

If i had kids of my own, i would definately smack my kids.
 
^^ lol.. i was about to post the exact same thing you posted witch doctor. It would shut me up eventually but i was back to tmy old shit a few days later, I used to think i was born to be a bad child when i was little.

I used to get beaten. For me and my brother it was anything. A belt, dog leash, shoes, electrical cord <-- that bastard hurt like hell, anything my mum could find close by. To the point where me and my brother would hide the belts/dog leash and make peace between each other just so we wouldn't get a whipping.

The only thing that really worked for me was being smacked in public. I hated the embarrasement so i evetually learnt to stop asking for stuff repeatedly.

When I have kids, i don't want to follow the path that was brought upon my mother and father, and eventually onto me and my bro. I'm very placid around kids. When i have my own one day, a smack on the butt will be the very last resort. I'm not against smacks on the bum, though i still shudder when i see a kid get smacked across the hands.
 
^^ hah yeah i remember when me and my brothers hid the metal spoon, yes my folks upgraded to a metal spoon =D
 
I've smacked my daughter a few times when she's been really naughty and done the same thing over and over, and I've told her no already.

I know I do it out of desperation though, and that's not a nice feeling, so now I leave the room.

It makes me feel bad because I still resent my mum for smacking me as a kid. I know it had everything to do with the circumstances of her hitting me, and the fact that it was obvious she was doing it out of her own bad moods and frustrations and not just because I was doing something wrong. I mean, I don't remember whether or not the smacks themselves hurt, but I do remember the way she looked at me like she hated me as she did it. And I don't want my kids to have memories like that just because I felt like flying off the handle (and am usually fine again after a short cooling off period).
 
Copied from this thread over in Second Opinion...

smileyfish said:
Yup, I agree. What some people don't seem to realise is that small children often can't understand the reasons we have for limiting their behaviour. Some of the concepts, such as the danger of traffic, teasing dogs, ingesting chemicals, sticking things into electrical sockets, etc are too complex for small children. You can explain it 'til you're blue in the face and they still won't understand until they taste the consequences for themsleves. Now which would you prefer: to have to give your child a mild smack once or twice to teach them to stay away from the danger, or to let them experience the true consequences which will be more severe than a mere smack? Either way, the child learns the consequence for the action, you just choose the consequence :\

I was smacked as a child, often inapproriately. My parents had a tendency to hit out of anger and when I was younger extreme anger/frustration would also provoke a physical response from me. I do not think this is good and I do think being smacked inappropriately as a child influenced me. I don't think smacking should be a regular form of punishment or ever used out of anger/frustration. It should solely be used when the situation is beyond the comprehension of the child or when time (imminence of danger) does not allow for a lengthy explanation. When all parties have had time to calm down the situation should then be discussed and the reason for smacking explained.

Other forms of discipline should be used in the majority of circumstances. Time-outs, witholding of priveledges, additional chores, etc are all useful, but again should be served up alongside an explanation of why the behaviour is unacceptable.

In response to the original poster, Aisha's Star, I know where you're coming from - I too worked in a suburban Australian shopping centre for a while and saw a lot of undisciplined children running rings around their parents. The big question is, why are parents so reluctant to discipline their children? Is it simply beause they don't want to hit and don't know any other ways? This tolerance of bratty children is a big problem, creating havoc in schools where teachers can't control kids who have no respect, and eventually it's going to spill over into other areas of society. I agree with the WOOD, this "pussification" approach to children is a load of shit. We are bringing social problems upon ourselves.
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I don't agree with corporal punishment. My mum only ever smacked me once as far as I can remember, and if I ever had kids (unlikely, but stranger things have happened) I would follow her example.

Having said that though, I don't judge anybody else who chooses to discipline their children by smacking them. Obviously we have to separate discipline from child abuse, because they're two very separate things. But I think that if we can assume there's no excessive violence/injury involved, then it's really just a matter of how you as a caregiver choose to discipline your child, and nobody has the right to pass judgement on that.
 
A bit of a smack, not a bash out of temper, does'nt hurt anyone.
If the child is being a complete defiant little shit and won't listen I think a smack is warranted.
But that's if all other methods fail.

Or methylphenidate, the chemical control ;)
 
I remember as a child I would get beat nearly everyday, and 90% of the time I probably deserved it.

Did it teach me anything? Yes, it taught me how to be strong, mentally and physically, it taught me how to run, how to hide and how to cry

I've been beat until I bled quite a few times....you can only skin a branch so far....and the nubs coming off of the branch cut fairly deep. I remember walking around with small puncture wounds in my legs quite a few times.

but I wouldn't trade it for anything. I still hate seeing pussy ass kids walking around thinking someone owes them something in life.

as a child i was brought up to EARN what I wanted, and if I didn't earn it, I didn't get it, simple as that. It taught me how to handle rejection and if I bitched about it I got slapped...which taught me how to handle pain, I could take a few slaps before it started to affect me, I built a good tolerance to pain. Granted, back then I usually thought my parents had no right hitting me, and I rebeled against it, which would earn another hit...today when I look back on it, I would side with my parents. I think it just comes down to learning and growing up. As a child matures, he learns to think rationally, which is something a kid doesn't have, regardless if you hit him or not. Even if you tell him what he did wrong, he will not side with you regardless. Negative reinforcement teaches him not to do something, that's really one of the few effective ways to deal with a child. You don't have to hit them, but taking stuff away from a child only goes so far...once you take everything away from him, what does he have to lose? This is when a child learns to hate the world and to rebel even more.

I just think a lot of today's kids need to get the shit beat out of them, it changes a person, it makes them learn respect and how to act around someone, once you get your ass beat you usually either become wilder, or humble.

The kids that become wild from it are usually the kids that end up dead because they crossed a wilder person.

I just can't understand how you people expect kids to raise theirselves....if my mom told me to please sit down or I'd get "time out" I'd laugh in her face.
 
totally agreed dbighead2.

the last thing u said about "time out" is pretty true. i know when i was in school, before the cain was outlawed, id never think about back chattin a teacher.
 
when I say beat the shit out of a child....I don't mean hurt them

my parents used to beat me pretty bad, but I could always get up and walk and I was fine the next day.

a hit in the butt is acceptable, it's jsut when you lash someone in their back or something like that is when it becomes unacceptable. There is fat on our butt for a reason.
 
^^ yes agreed, my folks were the same, we always got hit on the butt. anywhere else is just not on.

on a slight side track, anyone ever get their mouth washed out with soap for sayin dirty words? i remember me, my brothers, and cousins all getting this one quiet regularly once we discovered swearing hah. taught we one good lesson, always check whois talking before u open ur mouth hah :)
 
That's not a bad idea for general punishment, it tastes bad and is annoying and will make them think about what they have done for a while (just be sure to use a natural soap)
 
doofhard said:
That's not a bad idea for general punishment, it tastes bad and is annoying and will make them think about what they have done for a while (just be sure to use a natural soap)
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haha yes, it really sucked at the time, but now i look back and laugh my ass off :)
 
I was never really smacked as a kid and I don't think it effected me personally - I've turned out all right. We used to get punishments like having to clean things if we fucked up.

I was hit a few times for major things - like scratches on my dads motorbike.

As for my own kids, if I ever hav any, I'll try not to smack them, but I can't really say for sure what I'll do. Rather than smack them I'd rather talk to them about what they did and why it was wrong/dangerous etc.

I know one of my favourite TAFE teachers has a system whereby he sends his kids to their room until they are ready to discuss why they are being punished. It works for him...
 
I don't believe that kids should be hit at school. It is not the responsibility of teachers to inflict that form of punishment on a child as parents can not be confident enough that the teacher is trustworthy in his / her judgements and decisions. I do think that it's okay for parents to give their children a slap or use a wooden spoon as long as it's when they're relatively calm and not as retaliation for something (ie. not chasing the kid around the house in a blind rage).

I had a few wooden spoons broken on my hand (until I grew taller than my mum :)) and I think it probably did me good.
 
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