tackling the big issues.... should you be allowed to smack your kid???

[Pop Popavich]

Kids have distinct personalities and not all behavioural managment strategies work on all kids. I think the only real rule should be not to smack out of anger or frustration, and to use reasoning as much as it works.

Well said.

As many have said, I don't think there is ever any justification for abuse, but there is a vast difference between a short sharp slap on the bum, and beating your kid to the point of physical or psychological damage.

Ultimately I think the aim of any punishment or negative reinforcement should be to not only teach kids that what they have have done is unacceptable, but to make them understand why as well. Otherwise the kid never develops that sense of right and wrong that forms your concience, all they learn is to not get caught, because getting caught = pain.

I know for me the shock of being smacked, and the fact that it was associated with me seriously upsetting my parents, left a much longer lasting impression than any pain I may have felt at the time. When I was growing up I was always shown the consequences of my actions, in the form of how they affected those around me, or how much work needed to be done to rectify my fuck-up. Nowadays, it's that awareness of the impact of my actions, that causes me to reconsider doing something I shouldn't.

As Ozbreaker said, until I'm in this position myself, I can't really say what my actions will be, but from watching my nieces and nephews (so far I have 14.5 of them) grow up, and the different parenting styles that work and don't work on them, I think that the concept of actually treating kids like little people, works a lot better than trying to train them like a pet.

 

[neverwas]

Kids have distinct personalities and not all behavioural managment strategies work on all kids. I think the only real rule should be not to smack out of anger or frustration, and to use reasoning as much as it works.

well said hun.

growing up we were disciplined. but as Pop said...

there is a vast difference between a short sharp slap on the bum, and beating your kid to the point of physical or psychological damage.

i think every child needs to know the boundaries. i was watching "Super Nanny" last night on tv and those kids had no discipline or structured rules or anything. they were kicking and hitting and the parents did nothing.

When i was a child we would get a smack on the back of the hand at school or at home on the bum. I believe that when discipling a child you never smack anywhere other than the bum. Ive seen parents clip kids round the head before and that can cause serious damage!

ive looked after children before and god dam it is frustration when a child needs discipline but you cant do anything to show that. i feel sorry for a lot of child care workers and nannies who are stuck with enforcing the rules but not being able to discipline properly.

there are other methods of disciplining a child. i think that when i have kids...if i have kids im sure they will get a smack when they are naughty...but i would always explain why they were being punsihed/told off so they understood.