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Synthetic Suicide

S

SomeDamnGuy1435

Greenlighter
Joined
Aug 18, 2015
Messages
45
Okay a little background ...
Age 20 Male 5'11 , 140Lbs

So My question is if anyone else have used synthetic drugs and now feel very suicidal ...

When I was 16 I have my first fast of this devil in disguise it went by the name Mad Hatter ;) . I have been smoking weed for a while now about a year and couldn't find any so my buddy B said he had some fake weed said it was just like the real stuff. We walked outside during are lunch and to are usual smoking spot . Mr B pulled out a home made pipe out of his pocket and a bag of Mad Hatter ..

First Hit: Was a big one because I had no clue it was this strong I feel very sick to my stomach and dizzy

Second Hit : One more big hit (Go Big Or Go Home ...I Should Have Went Home Lol)

Shortly after the second hit I pass out and trip so bad first I'm in a box what I'm assuming is a coffin and freaking out because I thought i have just died ..Then These goggles came out of no where I put them on and I went to hell every thing was peaceful almost like being in a snow globe ( Side Note The Back Ground Image Was The earth like a globe ) Then I See these cirles come out of no where ...

Now The Fun / Pain Starts ...A drum beat was playing ( Very Close To When I'm Gone By Wiz ) And every time I heard the drum beat my whole body would jerk and hurt so bad all for what felt like days all I kept saying god please help god please help !!! Over and over again ...

After I woke Up It felt like I went back in time and I made my self stumble to the school bathroom where my face was as white as a cost and I was still fucked up it felt like I was walking through a tunnel and every person I passed glared at me .. Went to the wrong class and found my class room and only 10 mins had pasted ....

I Still Used The synthetic drug for 2 years and have been clean for 2 years but have terrible night mares every night of me dying in some horrible way ... And feel so suicidal like it's my destiny to destroy myself like the devil is calling me home I still hear the random voices telling me to join them in the fire (Not There Words But The Meaning Of What They Say )

I still smoke weed and use anything I can get my hands on to cure myself ...
 
I'm moving this to the dark side. DO NOT act upon your suicidal thoughts, and if you have seen a medical or mental health professional and told them what happened what did they say?
 
With certain synthetic drugs, such as stimulants for example, depression is a common side effect, esp. when one discontinues use. It makes sense: your dopamine gets down-regulated due to the constant presence of the dopaminergic drugs in your system, hence when you don't have the drugs you feel sad.

Synthetic cannabinoids are another story, though. In all honesty I'm not really sure how they work but I know they have the potential to seriously fuck some users up. They're a relatively new phenomenon which hasn't really been studied as much as a lot of the older drugs have.
 
Yes I did see a doc and he said I could spend some time in a mental health institution .. Not what I wanted so I keep my mouth shut , and still do to this day
 
While a doctor might say that after hearing that you "hear voices", I don't think most therapists would react the same way. I think that you can get through this and that there may be more going on than simply the lasting effects of the drugs. What else is going on for you in your life? Sometimes nightmares happen when there is anxiety that we are not facing. It could be specific to some situation or emotions or it could just be general (ie your life as you are living it does not address who you really are).
 
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