I'm on 3 months now. I've shot up virtually every single day in that time. It was definalty fine for the first two months. Infact, I was doing much better than I would have sober. I think things started going bad when my tolerance started going up. Before I could shoot a little bit and be fine for the night. Now I'm not satisfied until I'm nodding out for an hour or two at a time. I just end up staying up most of the night fading in and out of consciousness. I'm only getting a few hours of real sleep every night. I think that's having more of a toll than anything. I'm just sleep deprived and exhausted all the time. I'm very preoccupied with shooting. All of my waking hours revolve around shooting up in the evening now. Financially, it's killed me. The only reason I'm managing is because of my savings. I work a full time job at $12/hr and at this point I am basically spending 75% of my paychecks on dope. I keep trying to quit and it's not that I get "sick" in the traditional sense, but by the second day of being off it, I just can NOT function properly. I had made it two days today, tried to go to Baltimore, couldn't because of traffic, got desperate and ended up shooting OxyContin. When I'm off, I get entirely irrational, get very sweaty and tense.. it's like having a panic attack that won't go away. My skin feels like it's suffocating me and I feel incomplete, like I have to do something but I don't know what that something is.. the only thing that gets rid of it is more dope.
I don't see myself sustaining this much longer and being able to live an otherwise normal life. I'm tempted to call up my parents to get into a rehab program. Actually I'd just like to have a steady source of painkillers again so I could just take those to keep from withdrawing and just lower my dose gradually.
Also, I had previous experience with heroin. A lot of it. I was using insanely potent heroin, I would assume about as potent as you'd ever find for dirt cheap. I used it for months.. the difference was I was snorting it verse IVing it. In my opinion when you IV, it becomes a completely different game.
