Survival:
* a state of surviving; remaining alive
* a natural process resulting in the evolution of organisms best adapted to the environment
* something that survives
source
When I think of the word survival I think of a more recent time in my life.....
Throughout my life I have lived through rape, sexual assault, drug addiction,falling off of a cliff, a car accident, abuse of all kinds, lies and manipulation by the people I have loved, brainwashing, countless times of taking too much of something and near death experiences.........
But none of that seems like 'survival'.....even though it fits the definition.....
A little over a year ago, in only a few short months, my mother had a heart attack (she is okay now), I finally got pregnant (after 5-6 yrs of trying/not preventing and 2 fertility treatment cycles) and then lost the baby on Mothers Day, no less.My husband had a psychotic episode (he has schizoaffective disorder) and for more than three months he was in and out of complete psychosis........
Throughout all of this I was expected to keep our life together and work and function as a normal person while trying to settle my husbands medical care and disability, care for him at home and care for myself......
The caring for myself was almost impossible.....
I had so much anxiety from not dealing properly with the death of my baby b/c I had to care for my husband so soon after the miscarriage, that I developed an eye twitch and was asked to take at least a week off of work b/c I was going crazy......a few months go by and we moved and he drank as much alcohol as he could find and we separated due to him becoming a devil combining benzos and alcohol and me not being able to function b/c of my stress levels.....
We got back together and have this amazing renewed love for each other...a new appreciation and a stronger bond than we have ever had.......
When I think of survival, I think of that.
That full year of complete hell.
I survived it...........and I am better for it.
I grew from it.........
* a state of surviving; remaining alive
* a natural process resulting in the evolution of organisms best adapted to the environment
* something that survives
source
When I think of the word survival I think of a more recent time in my life.....
Throughout my life I have lived through rape, sexual assault, drug addiction,falling off of a cliff, a car accident, abuse of all kinds, lies and manipulation by the people I have loved, brainwashing, countless times of taking too much of something and near death experiences.........
But none of that seems like 'survival'.....even though it fits the definition.....
A little over a year ago, in only a few short months, my mother had a heart attack (she is okay now), I finally got pregnant (after 5-6 yrs of trying/not preventing and 2 fertility treatment cycles) and then lost the baby on Mothers Day, no less.My husband had a psychotic episode (he has schizoaffective disorder) and for more than three months he was in and out of complete psychosis........
Throughout all of this I was expected to keep our life together and work and function as a normal person while trying to settle my husbands medical care and disability, care for him at home and care for myself......
The caring for myself was almost impossible.....
I had so much anxiety from not dealing properly with the death of my baby b/c I had to care for my husband so soon after the miscarriage, that I developed an eye twitch and was asked to take at least a week off of work b/c I was going crazy......a few months go by and we moved and he drank as much alcohol as he could find and we separated due to him becoming a devil combining benzos and alcohol and me not being able to function b/c of my stress levels.....
We got back together and have this amazing renewed love for each other...a new appreciation and a stronger bond than we have ever had.......
When I think of survival, I think of that.
That full year of complete hell.
I survived it...........and I am better for it.
I grew from it.........
