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Support/My story

Rehabicable

Rehabicable

Bluelighter
Joined
Apr 4, 2011
Messages
74
Hello everyone,

I just wanted to share my story and maybe get some advice and support if possible. I am a decently long time opiate addict. Ive been using oxy/hydro/opana/heroin for approximately two years. Last february, i enterd a very expensive rehab and stayed there successfully for 6 months. I got out in August and got a new full time job and girlfriend etc. about two weeks ago i relapsed into heroin... Soo much guilt and sadness. I basically felt like i wasted 6 months and a fortune for nothing and let all my friends and family who were so proud of me down. After a terrible and stressful two weeks of using about a point a day i have decided ive had enough. I think if i man up now and detox before the w/ds get bad i might have a good chance. Despite my relapse, i actually have good willpower and thru my stay in rehab developed alot of techniques for avoiding situations to use and to stay away. Im making a stand here before i go back to the place i was at before rehab, no one knows about my relapse and thats why im posting this here just to tell it to someone.. Ive detoxed succesffully 100 times so im not worried about that and i plan on going to the gym everyday ans working as much as i can. Also NA meetings 3/4 times a week. Any tips or advice for detox or willpower in the future? Replies are greatly appreciated. Thanks
 
IME the abstinence mindset and having to start again at meetings saying "I have 2 weeks clean" feels very defeating. Especially if you only used for a very short time in 6-7 months, saying you have "2 weeks" is stupid. Personally, I don't count time out loud, celebrate "anniversaries" and all that. Sometimes I think about my clean time in retrospect ("huh! I guess it's been a year since no amphetamine! neat.") Don't be so hard on yourself. And don't be ashamed of your relapse. Share about it and don't be so proud. You'll feel a lot of love and relief ime when you open up about it in a meeting. Congrats on getting so much time together!
 
So you messed up and you will have some withdrawls but you have overall progressed in the past 6 months. You don't want to disappoint all your friends and family and you didn't: take a step back and realize that you can still make them proud and continue on your path to recovery. Don't let this relapse and drug take control of you, you did it before and have been sober for 6 months and you obviously know the high is not worth all the progess you made. So take a step froward and continue on, doing what you feel is best for you to continue on your path of soberity. It's hard sure but I think there is light at the end of the tunnel :) This idea can be applied to a lot things in life for everyone, learn from your mistake and try to make the best of this learning experience, don't let it bring you down!
 
Thanks for the replies, rehab did teach me alot and because of it i believe i have the ability to get clean and stay clean this time. Ive worked too hard for my sobriety to throw it all away like this.
 
I agree with Cohesion, you shouldn't see this as making you start over at the beginning. Don't beat yourself up over a relapse - we've all been there, in fact I just did a few days ago. I'm convinced you'll manage to get yourself back on track and congrats on quitting!
 
clean time comes and goes but recovery doesn't. you can get 6 months back in no time. Im a junkie who shot h for 3 years and gotten some clean time before and lost it. I'm coming up on 11 months and its the longest I've been clean. ill be honest, ditch the girlfriend, get a good sponsor, go to meetings, work steps. there's a reason they suggest no relationships the first year in recovery and it looks like you found out the hard way. I'm not saying its her fault you used, but taking on someone else's baggage when you haven't got all your shit sorted out overcomplicates a simple program. recap: meetings, sponsor, steps, service work, hang out with people in recovery, ditch the girlfriend. 90 in 90 if you can. out of my 300 something days, I've probably hit 450 meetings. maybe more. this is all from one junkie to another. love ya pal and keep your head up.
 
Thanks serotonin great advice; ive been thinking about breaking it off anywY till i get my shit together, thanks for the support everyone just what i needed!
And flowers ive obvs considered it but i dont believe in it i think its just as hard to stop the sub or methadone as using.. Plus i have good friends whove been on methadone for over two years despite saying theyd only b on it for a month..
 
Hey Rehabicable. Other posters are correct. It's important not to let yourself get too negative about things following a relapse. They are frequently important stages in recovery overall, we often take the most important lessons from relapses which we're then able to put to use in our attempts at abstinence in future. It's a process. Often involves two steps forward, one step back but so long as the general direction is right you're winning. :) Rehab's taught you some useful techniques by the sound of it, relapse will add to them and show you what your triggers were this time round so you're better able to deal with the same triggers if they come up again in future.

I think you're right not wanting to get into on any form of maintenance, even if the intent is to taper off soon as you can. If you feel ready for a go at detox and feel determined enough to make it stick just go for it, battle through it. There are meds available will relieve the worst of it without stringing the detox out and giving you something else to rattle off at the end of a taper though it may make the eventual detox a little easier, sure. In the end opiate withdrawal always sucks no matter what you jump off at what dose, has to be paid for all the same. Little to be gained delaying the inevitable.

I wish you well, good luck with it, one ex-addict to another. :)
 
I tried to detox but i work full time so i broke today and got 2 points. :( i realize i need to atleast check into a 7 day detox and am doing that next week. Dont know what im gonna tell my friends and family but its the only way to get off work and i think if i get thru the 7 days i have the motivation to stay off.
 
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