Support and Positivity about addiction and Mental Illness

Well today I have relapsed yet again. I got myself 680mg extra diazepam not percribed and a few mgs of sub. I feel much different this time though considering I have gone the longest period of my life this time without relapsing, but am obviously scared of turning myself back to shit. Does anyone else find themselves in this situation with shit, and does it get easier and easier if I am going longer between relapses until hopefully i'm sober? Might sound like a silly obvious answer to the question, but yeah. Just feels like its taking me forever to fully get off benzos.
 
^There are a number of people who will relapse and find that it just isn't the same........
It does get easier and sometimes you just realize it isn't worth doing again.
Relapsing doesn't have to mean its all over, but b/c it happens also doesn't mean you should try another relapse again if you know what I mean........ <3
The longer you are sober, the easier being sober is.......
Hope things get easier for you soon.
 
^There are a number of people who will relapse and find that it just isn't the same........
It does get easier and sometimes you just realize it isn't worth doing again.
Relapsing doesn't have to mean its all over, but b/c it happens also doesn't mean you should try another relapse again if you know what I mean........ <3
The longer you are sober, the easier being sober is.......
Hope things get easier for you soon.

Ocean you said it so right, I agree 100%. After a while of relapsing I eventually gave up going back to heroin because it lost its touch. I began to see that living without it was much better, more fulfilling, and overall it meant I had a higher quality of existence.
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^^Thanks m8s. Always helps for some reassurancce. :) And ocean, I too agree 100 percent with everything you said. It all makes perfect sense to me. Like i'm under the influence of 80mg of valium as I type this and yeah its "good", but nothing like it once was. In the end I was taking doses of benzos (say up to 80mg diazepam at once for one dose) about a year ago, obviously because it just didn't do shit for me anymore other than fight off withdrawals and function, plus because of all the doses of different benzos I was taking to get effects, lead me to waking up in hospital a couple of times in the past. I can notice it for sure right now after a couple months of a break but at least nowadays i'm more aware of how pointless it is, whereas I just never used to be at all. Just feels like time..time..time and more time, and guess i'm glad that i'm more aware of that now too. Just worry down the track with wanting ""harder stuff"". I have a tendancy to do that 8)
 
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