After years of debiliating anxiety, resulting in constant head tremors, spasms, tightenting and migraines i have finally found my salvation in a presciption drug cocktail.
Most of my anxiety resulted in a preoccupation with my body, which I kind of now recognized to be a combo of add and ocd. my first and defining moment in my life was when I suddently developed a phobia that my penis was visible through my pants and was completely distracted and obsessed by it. this somehow caused a referred reaction in my head resulting in the ticks and tremors I spoke of. it truly crippled me throughout adolescence into adulthood as I felt as if I was naked when I would walk into a public event.
now in my 30's I truly feel that If i had discovered this at 18 I would be an actualized person by now. of course i went through all the ssri junk thoughout my life to no avail. what I take which is non narcotic which completely liberates me is lyrica 675mgs, adderall 45mgs, klonopin 3mgs, and propoanol (mininum doseage) this seems to get ride of all phyiscal, emotional and other symptoms of anxiety as well as the lyrica helping with the chronic pain i have developed. it's a shame that I have to relay on a cocktail of medicines to be normal. such as life similiar to aids patient who must stick to a regimen. my constant fear though is a build up of tolerance which is why I tolerate at least three days of m isery a week in order to have a good four days. I'm hoping the synergistic effects of the drugs will reduce the tolerance factor. (btw not recommended but mixing a little alcohol is great too.) anyway i'm not well versed in bio or neurochemistry as many on this board but i'm seeming to have found the right combo for me. oh by the way, another crazy phobia I developed is that I had become preoccupied with how long it was appropriate to maintain eye contact with somebody, with a crazy delusion that somehow the people would thinik I was attracted to them. this extended to family members, friends animals, and so forth. really really sick. but as I said the meds seem to be doing the trick, especially during high pressure moments. I find this combo not only enhances me mentally and socially but actually physically as well. I get a nitric oxide like pump in my muscles and feel increased vascularity and desire for excercise. I'm also battling low testosterone and libido after having insanely high libido all my life. my next project is going to be how to restore that.
Most of my anxiety resulted in a preoccupation with my body, which I kind of now recognized to be a combo of add and ocd. my first and defining moment in my life was when I suddently developed a phobia that my penis was visible through my pants and was completely distracted and obsessed by it. this somehow caused a referred reaction in my head resulting in the ticks and tremors I spoke of. it truly crippled me throughout adolescence into adulthood as I felt as if I was naked when I would walk into a public event.
now in my 30's I truly feel that If i had discovered this at 18 I would be an actualized person by now. of course i went through all the ssri junk thoughout my life to no avail. what I take which is non narcotic which completely liberates me is lyrica 675mgs, adderall 45mgs, klonopin 3mgs, and propoanol (mininum doseage) this seems to get ride of all phyiscal, emotional and other symptoms of anxiety as well as the lyrica helping with the chronic pain i have developed. it's a shame that I have to relay on a cocktail of medicines to be normal. such as life similiar to aids patient who must stick to a regimen. my constant fear though is a build up of tolerance which is why I tolerate at least three days of m isery a week in order to have a good four days. I'm hoping the synergistic effects of the drugs will reduce the tolerance factor. (btw not recommended but mixing a little alcohol is great too.) anyway i'm not well versed in bio or neurochemistry as many on this board but i'm seeming to have found the right combo for me. oh by the way, another crazy phobia I developed is that I had become preoccupied with how long it was appropriate to maintain eye contact with somebody, with a crazy delusion that somehow the people would thinik I was attracted to them. this extended to family members, friends animals, and so forth. really really sick. but as I said the meds seem to be doing the trick, especially during high pressure moments. I find this combo not only enhances me mentally and socially but actually physically as well. I get a nitric oxide like pump in my muscles and feel increased vascularity and desire for excercise. I'm also battling low testosterone and libido after having insanely high libido all my life. my next project is going to be how to restore that.
I think that what you're battling is a struggle - but you don't really adress many questions to be answered within this wall of text - which is quite difficult to read I'm sorry, but with regards to your libidio, perhaps as you've said that you had strange desires in the past, would this be the best idea?