super weed addiction, depression - will MDMA help?

[BluLait]

I've been smoking weed heavily for around 2 years now. Also did my fair share of stims and downers and some really dirty RC's since then.

I'll tell you a short story before cutting to the chase so you can get a better idea of the situation.

This shit all began when I literally got addicted to weed. I had 24/7 access to some REALLY super strong dank skunk for 6 or so months, during which I would smoke 1-2 grams a day (I would have smoked a lot more but didn't have that much money). I had such a strong tolerance that I would finish 1 gram in 2 hours and barely get high for 10 minutes. When I didn't smoke for more than 24 hours, the withdrawal symptoms would start: I'd first get EXTREMELY angry and edgy. The smallest of things would make me lose my mind and flip the fuck out. I almost tore off my shirt one time after I failed to button it properly (wtf? right?). I would walk down the street and every single person I'd see I'd just wanna kill them; I didn't know why, I just felt that everyone was responsible for every small problem in my life.
"Look at that little bus driver sitting in his little fucking chair, driving his little fucking shit-wagon.. Fucking asshole". Just a random hot chick: "You fucking whore, I'd bet you'd fuck me if I was a doctor or a lawyer huh? You're all for the money, fucking whores... But you'll never fool me you stupid cunt, I'm not falling for that shit. Cause you see, I got it all figured out." I was delirious at times.
I remember just constantly thinking or saying stuff like: "Fucking stupid motherfuckers, they're all laughing now at me... I'll get them, I'll make them pay, fucking assholes just can't leave me alone.. I'll kill them for what they did" (I didn't know who "they" were in fact, nor what they did to me, I just knew that I wanted to kill "them"). More than 2 days without weed and I'd just go into self-destruct mode, a few times i even totally lost it and started shouting/cursing at people for little things: Some guy really pissed me off one day when he told me my school project wasn't very good and that I'd have to redo it because it made the group look bad - and he was right, it was shit, I had done it in like 30 minutes. But I wanted to kill that son of a bitch - HOW DARE HE SAY SUCH A THING TO ME? DOES HE KNOW WHO I AM? DOES HE KNOW THE SHIT I HAVE TO PUT UP WITH? WHO GIVES A FLYING FUCK ABOUT HIS STUPID PROJECT? I bathed in the anger, and it kind of felt good... in a way, a lot better than feeling sorry for myself.

When I was out with friends it was a bit better.. made me think of other stuff besides being super-depressed and craving so badly for weed. I still felt like shit thinking I'd have to get home and try and sleep (sleeping while withdrawaling from weed was next-to impossible).

When I did get home, that's when hell started. I would just start crying, moving around the room in circles, pulling out my hair, swearing at everything and everyone, not anyone in particular, just "them". Trying to calm myself down telling myself I'd get some more weed in the morning when the guys at the weed-house would open up but that didn't help.

I'd get so very depressed that I'd just sit in a corner crying out loud for half an hour. I was away from my home town and my family at the time. I started getting really sad, thinking about my mother and father and how I just failed them so much... They sent me to study, paid money for me, even though they never had much to begin with, they made huge sacrifices to get me everything I needed and I'd just call them up and tell them I need money for books/whatever and just buy weed. I didn't buy any books, I just spent that money on more weed. I fucked everything up. I wasn't going to school, I was wasting all of their money on grass, they had no idea.. I kept telling them everything was fine while I was dying inside... I could see what it was doing to me but I just could NOT imagine a life without weed... It was sheer agony, nothing that I have ever experienced from anything else before (and I had some pretty rough comedowns from heavy stim use, compared to what I went through then, that was a piece of cake.)

The physical withdrawals were also bad. I'd sweat like a pig all day, and ever more during the night. When I did fall asleep, it was for no more than 30 minutes or so, after which I'd wake up COVERED in sweat. I also found I could walk/run a lot without getting tired, the anger fueled me, I felt like I could beat the shit out of anyone and anything, I felt INVINCIBLE, so focused, so full of energy. Not in a good way. It's this wicked feeling. Think of someone killing your dog in front of you, you'd get filled up with adrenaline/anger and nothing would stop you from kicking the shit out of that guy. That was exactly how I was feeling, except I didn't know who killed my dog or if I actually had a dog, I was just prepared to do anything to kill "them", Weird shit.

When I did get weed, I just sat in my room and smoked all day until I finished it, and then I'd buy some more. All my problems would instantly go away and I didn't care about anything. Typical addict behaviour.

I'm sure most of you are familiar to this kind of weed withdrawal, but I'm pretty sure very few have took it to the level I did.

I ended up having to leave the school and going back to my hometown cause I just could NOT take it anymore and I begged my mom to take me back..

I stayed clean from everything for about 4 months until I found a weed connect round here, and from that came more weed connects. Now I can buy anything, at any time, anywhere... So much for staying clean.

I am not using nowhere near as much though, I'll smoke 1-2g a week on average (in small doses spread across) which is a HUGE improvement. Also the weed isn't always killer-dank, which also helps.

Even as I'm typing this I haven't smoked for exactly 24 hours and I have been having mood-swings, mild depression for about 4 hours now. But it's just 10% of what I felt when I was on the strong stuff. All I could think about until now was how to get some money fast/call a friend who smokes/whatever just smoke so I can keep my feelings of remorse and regret at bay. Every single thing that's missing from my life is hitting me hard when I'm withdrawaling and makes me so confused.

So tonight, for the first time, I'm telling this to someone else, to you, I'm asking for help/advice.

I just realised I may have a little problem.. Because, instead of dealing with my problems -like trying to get a GF - haven't had sex in 8 months, funny shit - I started smoking again right after breaking up with my ex - when I'm bored/depressed/angry I just smoke, and all of a sudden, everything is good, I have no problems anymore - "I'll get it done, but not now, I'm high." problem is, I never get them done.

Trying to quit weed? Oh yeah, like it hasn't crossed my mind... save it. Almost all of my so-called "friends" smoke. That's what we do when we go out, we smoke weed & seldom do other drugs. 30-40% of the conversation topics are about drugs. When we don't get high, we're thinking "Oh dude this would be so much cooler if we got high". Colleagues at my new school are so fucking retarded, I just can't stand to be around them and their stupid conversations, just so utterly boring. It's like they have no personality or nothing, they're like robots. I can't tell if it's me or them; it's probably them. I'm not really doing well at this new school either, mostly not going to classes because I fucking hate it to be honest. I don't even know what to do with my life anymore. All I'm really looking up to is when I'm going to go out with my junkie friends and fuck ourselves up. Everything is so boring and devoid of colour (winter probably has an influence in this) and I have to do extreme stuff just to keep myself from dying of boredom. I drive my car like a maniac all the time, I rarely drive under 100km/h (60miles/h) in residential areas. I make edgy comments all the time and to be honest most people are freaked out about this.

It's like I'm looking for something that isn't there, like there should be more to life. I'm never ever content with myself, not even when I'm high on weed, not anymore. Seems like I need harder drugs to get that rush I want, and even then it's fake, short-lived - that's why I don't really do stims that often anymore.

I have absolutely no idea if all this shit is because of my heavy cannabis-use or not, but it probably has something to do with it.
I'm not usually the type to be so open about all these things, I usually try and tough it out, i'm a proud individual and I never really expected anybody to be able to help me. Someone once arranged for me to go to this psychiatrist friend of hers hoping that it might help, I went to him just for her but I refused to talk to him about my problems when, I just told the man everything was fine and that I really shouldn't be there, and that everything was good and cheerful... Bleah. I don't like to show weakness.
I could write all night on the topic but you must be getting bored, I'm rambling. Fuck.

I have never done MDMA before, nor had much experience with other empathogenic or psychedelic substances.

My question is, will MDMA help me see a better side to life, help me be more content and motivate me to achieve my goals and fix my problems? I heard it is good for stuff like this. Other than that, please be free to give me any advice you see fit.

 

[Sublime947]

you don't need to do another substance to overcome another substance's addiction. although mdma did sort of help me ease away more from the weed mentality, i wouldn't suggest doing it as a person prone to addiction can get hooked and mdma is not something to abuse. if any substance to help control your weed problem, which i dont suggest, is maybe some mild psychedelic. i would try to abstain soberly though

 

[nervousone]

Mdma has therapeutic use but I dont think it would help at all in your situation, it might actually make your depression worse. Even worse you might start abusing it because you seem to have that type of personality. Mdma can cause serious mental issues when abused. More drugs are not the answer to your problem.

 

[BluLait]

I won't start to abuse mdma. I really won't abuse a drug that will have long-lasting harmful side-effects.

I didn't abuse speed, although it made me feel like I could take on the world. I did have a period when I would do it almost weekly, but I haven't done speed in over 2 months and I can buy it at any time, it's just that I don't want to get addicted to something that harmful, even though i love it.
I only do codeine about once every 2 months or so, and I also love that
Benzos, the same.. very rare. I kinda like them too. A family member has unlimited supply and she won't notice if I take any. I still don't abuse them.

I always put safety first. I can't seem to think like that when it comes to weed though, because weed is harmless on the body, and it's psychological effects are very mild now with moderate consumption, so there is NOTHING telling me not to smoke, like there is something telling me when to stop taking the next line of speed.

If I didn't abuse all those drugs, I will certainly not do it with MDMA since I have limited acces to molly (I can maybe only get it once every 2 months, I won't go into details) and I won't take pressed pills because god knows what other crap those pills contain.

I have become a very responsible drug user, and even when I get seriously fucked up, I never take it to the extreme. Even though there are days when I feel like just getting wasted and staying like that for a while, I don't do it.. I'd rather go out and race my car or something like that.

I just want to know if after a few MDMA experiences I will start to see the bright side of life (like in that song).

it might actually make your depression worse

Why would a few rolls make my depression worse?

 

[rave_itsrealfun!!!]

These problems are ugly man, I have something similar. But it cannot be overcome with drugs you have to do it yourself, and since Mdma is a crazy harsh chemical that could mess your brain up, even from only doing it once, I would not recommend trying it until you are happy with your existence. Think about it - any damage that Mdma does is probably emotional. Your emotions are fucked to begin with, and abusing a drug (weed) probably has something to do with it.

I don't think weed is your problem, I think no-sex is.

You are very angry because you don't get laid. So am I. Smoking weed eases the pain, so you freak out when you don't have it. And you might be angry for other reasons too, ask yourself, why are you so angry?

I get withdrawal symptoms, a little insomnia and total lack of appetite, but they are nothing to go nuts about. And I smoke weed from morning til night every day, almost for a decade. It's not that big a deal it's just smoking weed.

I tried Mdma, I loved it, I did it 30 times in a year which I'm sure has damaged my body permanently, and it didn't solve any of my problems. It made everyone love my company for a night until I came down, and ended up worse off than before. I haven't done it in almost a year now.

I think you will have difficulty in controlling your Mdma use, since you are depressed and already fiending one other drug that isn't nearly as good. Pretty much everyone I know who has tried it, ended up doing a ton of it for a little while, even people who do not seem to be depressed. It's that good.

You even admitted to self destructive tendencies. What do you have against blowing some serotonin away, for a wonderful great time? You will be attracted to that kind of behaviour. Go back again and again.

Let me repeat this. I WOULD NOT take Mdma until you are satisfied with your existence. It WILL NOT help you, it will further mess your brain up and you are risking getting caught up in a very bad habit. The mdma will add another variable you do not need in your life, as you are already unstable. Just chill out.

 

[villian]

Why would a few rolls make my depression worse?

I suggest you research MDMA a bit because depression is something a lot of users have to deal with.

I won't start to abuse mdma.

If you abuse marijuana to the point you are having such severe issues what makes you think you won't abuse MDMA?

 

[DooMMooD]

If you want to ACTUALLY quit smoking weed, you need to hang around different people. Simple as that. You can make excuses out the wahzoo, but thats ultimately what it will come down to. You wont stop doing drugs if you keep hanging around people who do drugs all the day and for whom "30-40% of conversation is regarding drugs"

 

[BluLait]

Yeah, you're all totally right.

But I don't think that is going to stop me from doing E..
I think I just have to smoke weed and take mdma and it'll be cool.

These problems are ugly man, I have something similar. But it cannot be overcome with drugs you have to do it yourself, and since Mdma is a crazy harsh chemical that could mess your brain up, even from only doing it once, I would not recommend trying it until you are happy with your existence. Think about it - any damage that Mdma does is probably emotional. Your emotions are fucked to begin with, and abusing a drug (weed) probably has something to do with it.

I don't think weed is your problem, I think no-sex is.

You are very angry because you don't get laid. So am I. Smoking weed eases the pain, so you freak out when you don't have it. And you might be angry for other reasons too, ask yourself, why are you so angry?

I get withdrawal symptoms, a little insomnia and total lack of appetite, but they are nothing to go nuts about. And I smoke weed from morning til night every day, almost for a decade. It's not that big a deal it's just smoking weed.

I tried Mdma, I loved it, I did it 30 times in a year which I'm sure has damaged my body permanently, and it didn't solve any of my problems. It made everyone love my company for a night until I came down, and ended up worse off than before. I haven't done it in almost a year now.

I think you will have difficulty in controlling your Mdma use, since you are depressed and already fiending one other drug that isn't nearly as good. Pretty much everyone I know who has tried it, ended up doing a ton of it for a little while, even people who do not seem to be depressed. It's that good.

You even admitted to self destructive tendencies. What do you have against blowing some serotonin away, for a wonderful great time? You will be attracted to that kind of behaviour. Go back again and again.

Let me repeat this. I WOULD NOT take Mdma until you are satisfied with your existence. It WILL NOT help you, it will further mess your brain up and you are risking getting caught up in a very bad habit. The mdma will add another variable you do not need in your life, as you are already unstable. Just chill out.

No man, I ain't really angry all the time, just when withdrawaling. I just remember that last time stopped for 2 weeks I got my thoughts totally straightened out, no depression really. The depression and shit is mostly all related to weed since I am usually normal when I quit...
I got my weed addiction to a safe level now, I don't really get angry after smoking, just get mood-swings & shit.

Will MDMA make me even more motivated than I already am?

If you abuse marijuana to the point you are having such severe issues what makes you think you won't abuse MDMA?

Because I didn't get hooked on other, more addictive stuff. I know moderation, just that weed is something I allowed myself to too often because I didn't really care about it, doesn't affect me long term. Whilst speed,opiates, even mdma (which is considered less addictive) I do care about doing too much.

 

[Kastr0]

Stay away from the MDMA... MDMA is something that should be enjoyed when one is already in a happy and positive state of mind, thus making their experience incredible.. The mood you are in before you take MDMA definitely plays a big role in how enjoyable your experience will be (IMO).

Try stepping your exercise game up, get on some multi-vitamins, go running, get a gym membership. I find exercise/working plays a KEY role in keeping my life stable and my mind/body at ease, your body naturally releases endorphins and the more active you are the sooner your body can get back to normal and you can be feeling like "you" again.

Best of luck.

 

[Dave]

^ This.

MDMA will make you feel good while you're acutely high, but there's this neat effect where two or three days after coming down you become susceptible to a sudden, severe depression. Some call it PEDS (post ecstasy depression syndrome) or 'blue Tuesday'. Speaking as someone who suffered from depression before doing E, and whose depression was made considerably worse by E, I'd really recommend against it. There is a lot of excellent advice in the thread on how to do this without taking other drugs.

 

[Insane Platypus]

Will MDMA make me even more motivated than I already am?

Nope, MDMA has little effect on motivation. From experience, I think it has a slight negative effect on motivation. You don't feel motivated on a comedown!

As previously pointed out in the thread, MDMA did have a therapeutic use but in this case, you're just using it recreationally. Medium to long term use doesn't have lasting positive effects and may make your mood swings worse.

Not sure why you're trying to rationalise using MDMA in this way - if you want to use it, then use it. If you want to address lack of motivation and extreme mood swings, getting off the weed is a good start. Doing more exercise, doing other activities etc etc is also good advice.

 

[FnX]

Honestly, if "This shit all began when I literally got addicted to weed." then wouldn't the most logical assumption be that ditching the weed would help a lot? The problem is, you can't replace weed with a lesser drug because despite being addictive, it's still perhaps the most benign recreational drug there is. So what I suggest is, smoke only during the evening/before going to bed so that your sleep isn't compromised. If all you can get is dank, mix some tobacco or oregano or whatever in it so it's not that strong (or just smoke smaller amounts). When your daily/weekly intake is low enough, just stop smoking and deal with whatever symptoms if any you may get.

Start following an exercising schedule and a proper, healthy diet. Consider supplementing melatonin. It will suck at first and you probably won't even enjoy it right from the start, but that should be expected in every kind of drug addiction recovery. Eventually you WILL start to enjoy life without drugs, even cannabis. Then my friend, you have reached the point when you should ask yourself the question wether to take MDMA or not. I'm not trying to get you to live a life without drugs, you asked help regarding your depression and to deal with depression I recommend life without drugs for atleast as long as you feel depressed from previous drug usage.

 

[MaxTTR]

seems like your real problems is depression, weed just help you to compensate depression and weed is no really a solution for depression. if you can get hands on some venlafaxine, that can really solve your problem quite a bit. it will make you even physically feel much better and it is not addictive. I agree MDMA is not best choice, at least you do not sound like a suicidal.

 

[rave_itsrealfun!!!]

I would also argue that you do in fact have anger issues sober, and you haven't spent enough time away from weed to experience them. I mean, you're usually pretty normal while high, no? You're probably usually pretty normal sober too, and have occasional outbursts. It is not a common reaction for people who smoke a ton of weed to get extremely angry about stuff, there is an underlying issue here and cannabis possibly amplifies it. But then again, I can kind of relate to your withdrawals but kind of not, that sweating sounds insane, and the mania, so maybe you should avoid it. I myself get a total loss of appetite and a little mania as well, but only for a few days. Are you sure the mania isn't making you exagerate those symptoms? I do the same thing when I run out, start hating on the weed at times.

Your use of stimulants and dirty RC's are possibly contributing to these problems. They have may have decreased your stability, causing weed to have a worse effect on you.

Mdma made me motivated to be a more outgoing and talkative guy in social scenarios as it showed me what I was capable of. It will make you feel the best feeling you have ever felt, which will make you love your life for a short period afterwards, because you just had such a wonderful time, and it didn't feel like it was the drugs, and you want to keep it up. It is, in fact, the drugs however, and after your experience fades away to a distant memory, you will be worse off than you were before, for obvious reasons. Depleting a very important neurotransmitter to have a great time is simply not going to help you long term.

Am I that life loving social butterfly yet? Hell no.

However, in my case, I think that using Mdma did in fact have some positive effects on my life (and I did it way too much for a short while) and very few if any negatives. I'm just saying it's a gamble. Having the experience of being the most outgoing and loving person ever for a few hours could in fact change you for the rest of your life, but the chemical that induces this state is supposedly very damaging to the body. The effect it has on my body is counterproductive towards applying what I learned about myself rolling to become a better person sober. And what I learned is really quite simple.

Have you taken psychedelics? Again, probably a dumb idea, a mushroom trip might help you realize some crazy stuff but the consequences of this are highly variable. I'd say drop the M, but honestly I'd wait until your use of other stimulants and RC's is long in your past are you are also happier.

 

[adder]

Having read your post I came to similar conclusion other people suggested, i.e. it seems you've been suffering from depression (e.g. this quote "It's like I'm looking for something that isn't there, like there should be more to life. I'm never ever content with myself (...)"). The other thing is your addiction to weed. Well, if you smoked tobacco, and then stopped you would realize you feel some physical symptoms coming from abrupt cease of use, stopping anything having such an impact on human brain would give you some physical symptoms but I guess this is an exaggeration in your case. Mind you that the fact you stop doing something is enough for your mind to make it worse than it really is. Depression is another thing boosting unpleasant feelings. Nonetheless what any addicted person should worry about the most is psychological addiction (this includes drugs like benzodiazepines and opioids too even though physical withdrawal after these may sometimes be lethal). If you don't overcome psychological addiction, you'll never be really from the drug you abuse(d). Even when you stop, feel normal physically but you still think about the drug, I call you an addict.

I haven't really heard about such a situation caused by cannabis but it doesn't really matter. See, I've used strong opioids for quite a lot of time (well, everything is relative but it doesn't fall into a group of "a few years old addiction" in my case). The same goes for benzodiazepines. I'm tapering off clonazepam (currently I take 4mg a day) and I'm constantly on methadone. I get no high from this but there are days I must admit that what I do is abusing it although all it gives me is sedation and less thinking/worrying about matters that bother me a lot, e.g. I don't have a girlfriend either and I'm a type of person who can't really live happily being alone - sometimes I don't want to think about and instead of taking 25mgs of methadone split 15-10, I take 25mgs in the morning and then at the end of the day I sum up everything and it turns out I've taken 60mgs (well, for me this is the lowest dose actually letting you feel methadone but that's because I used to take strong and euphoric opioids like morphine, heroin, and much much more). I can tell you that if I could move back to London (I had to come back to my country and I started studying) and if I could work in the IT market, which would get me a lot of money given I speak languages of immigrants the largest number of London has and needs people after economics, IT, and similar not only good at these things but also speaking languages of these immigrants to communicate with people not speaking English or speaking bad English, well if I could hm hm hm, I wouldn't think twice but on a day like today, I would go to <name of the district>, buy heroin, and bang it. This is wrong. This means I haven't come to a point where I really control my addiction. The only reason why I don't take heroin in my country is because it's paying a lot too much for very low quality (it's like you earned £1500, and 1g of shitty stuff cost £200 - how are you going to pay the rent and buy food, at least these things, when you need 1g a day (with relatively low tolerance because of staying away from heroin for quite a long time)? that's impossible because 30 days * 200 £/day = 6000 £, way over the salary).

You've got needs like all people. My opinion is it's much easier to keep yourself in check (for you that'd be staying away from weed as it's one of the factors augmenting your depression) when you've got at least some of your most important needs fulfilled. E.g. I know that if I had a girlfriend, I would stick to 15mg + 10mg (of methadone) and tapering down clonazepam (the next step is 4mg -> 3mg) wouldn't be so painful. But she would have to be really close with me. I realized a lot of girls don't have such big needs concerning intimacy or they're so shy that they don't try to get their needs fulfilled... A wise, knowledgeable, and mature girl would help you a lot. She must at least be willing to learn what addiction is and then if there's real love in her, she would break up because of your problems. She must be at least willing to understand as I saw girls walking away from guys not letting them even explain because they were too scared to be with someone with addiction or they simply saw that as diminishing the level of their life, either way it means there wasn't enough love if there was love at all IMO.

I won't be the one to tell you "therapy will heal you" or something like that because it didn't work for me at all. Some people benefit from various therapies but I'm of the opinion that therapists blindly use manipulation to get information and deep feelings from their patients but not really understanding their patients mostly. And when you use manipulation, you have to be careful even if you use it in good faith, the results may be harmful if you don't control it. Many therapists learned during their psychology studies how to manipulate but they lack the true gift and make more damage than help. And addicts are a distinct group of people needing help who are vulnerable to become easily hurt.

I'm sorry for the long post.

Wish you all the best and I hope you get better. And one more thing about so-called friends. They're not real friends. Can they help you? I don't think so. Thus why do you need to keep these acquaintances? You don't. You may be afraid you will become alone if you abandon them but they make your situation worse. You know what I did with the so-called friends? I severed all such relations because when they needed help, I was always there and when the situation was opposite, they always had some excuse not to help me.

 

[MikeRWK]

I went through the same thing as you man, I was finally too broke to buy weed and told my doctor i needed help quitting.She put me on Benzos (oxazepam) for a week and all was good after that.I'd take 30mg around 3pm when id start to get irritated and the urge to kill everyone started to rise and another 30mg at night before bed, it kept me from freaking out like you do and i slept.

MDMA wont help at all, go see a doc and get some benzos.

 

[Euphoric Status]

Are you sure that bud you used to smoke wasn't laced with anything? This is the most intense withdrawal I have ever heard about (involving weed).

To answer your question, I don't think MDMA in your condition is such a good idea at the moment... you'd probably know what I mean when you're coming down off of it.

 

[adder]

^ I definitely agree with you over some doubts if it was really just super potent weed.

MDMA is not a way out of this like people said but benzodiazepines may be dangerous too. They can easily draw you into addiction and this one is really terrible physically. Oxazepam is one of the weakest benzodiazepines but still I would be cautious. Just use it the least you need if you get a script and if you go to a psychiatrist specializing in addictions (which I think you should really do; there's only one in my city and if he was more friendly, I would have been on MMT long time ago on a proper dose), make sure you tell him the whole story not skipping any part.

 

[Jabberwocky]

They say:

Being addicted to weed is like being kicked to death by a rabbit.

I don't mean to belittle your situation at all OP. Not at all. Back at some random AA meeting someone told me that. Kinda true, but then again, heroin was more my thing...

 

[DooMMooD]

I think the last thing the OP needs to be doing is getting into any sort of relationship. gotta fix yourself before you start offering yourself to other people. And if you were referring to getting a girl solely for the OPs benefit and not for hers, then you need to reexamine your meaning of the phrase "relationship". A girl is NOT what a depressed, weed addicted person needs. They need to work on themselves in order to attract the opposite gender, not offer themselves as a broken person who the girl can look at as a "fixer upper" type of project.

And I said it before: if you wanna feel better about yourself? STOP SMOKING WEED! Smoking weed every single day keeps people down. Try not smoking for awhile ( and i dont mean like a day or a week, Im talkin like 30+days here). in order to do that though you will need to hang around people who do not constantly smoke weed all day.

I think everyone has a tendency to glamorize pot and not realize that smoking all day every single day WILL keep a person feeling down and out. They'll be more content with their misery because they're passive and stoned.

People are quick to point out that you're probably suffering from depression, but they have no basis to say that until you've cleared drugs out of your system Why do you think doctors wait to make a diagnosis like that until AFTER a persons drug problem has been worked on? Because ITS IMPOSSIBLE TO SEPARATE THE EFFECTS OF THE DRUGS FROM THE EFFECTS OF AN ILLNESS THE OP MAY BE SUFFERING! Someone may be saying "no thats not true! weed doesn't depress me" but its different EVERY SINGLE INDIVIDUAL!

Ask ANY REAL DOCTOR! All of them will tell you its impossible to make an accurate mental diagnosis with drugs still in the picture. Do not mistake what i am saying: dual diagnosis can, and do, happen, but they cant determine if thats it until they clear the drugs up anyway and see that it is still there and underlying, instead of being caused by. No matter what way you look at it, you gotta clear out the drugs to find out whats what.

So for everyone telling you youre depressed because of X Y Z blah blah blah, STOP SMOKING WEED/DOING DRUGS FOR AHWHILE! Its the ONLY WAY to tell if its the cause, or if its an underlying condition, and you wont know until you nix the pot