xobeulb
Bluelighter
a descriptive essay due this friday..
(if i get the balls to turn it in, ive been lying about lacking a rough draft to avoid peer-edits etc.)
Suggestions will be taken into consideration.. so please share your thoughts
I spent the evening with my ex-girlfriend watching the city twinkle below us. Unusually timid, she sat on 2nd base while I nervously kicked dirt at the infield. She shared with me how she had moved on since our breakup and was happier. I lied and expressed that I was making similar advances. My eyes burned as I looked to the stars. It was then that she came near and whispered into my ear, “Why do you wear sunglasses in the dark?”
Her driveway is less than a block from the baseball field. I sit alone in the car watching her close the front door behind her. Every time. Every time it is my whole world walking away. Every time it is the last time I will see her again. Before I can put my car in gear, I must scratch the mental itch that plagues me. I remove my sunglasses and turn to the rear-view mirror.
At the worst of moments I ache to find a mirror. The desire cannot be explained, and I feel lost and uncompleted until it is fulfilled. I approach the mirror like a child opening his only birthday present. I’m unsure of what I will find and am scared that it won’t be enough. I am reminded of a self-image similar to that of which is flashed in my mind. My body has grown and changed with the passing days. Within seconds, my eyes lock with my worst enemy. My eyes. My hazel eyes. The only portal to my darkest secrets and my deepest self are wide open in front of me. I am strongly intimidated by the truths they cannot hide. I feel like a child behind a Halloween mask. No matter how thick the mask I wear, my eyes always shine through. A beacon in the starless night.
My eyes could easily be covered by infant hands. They don’t share the mass of a burning star and they haven’t been around as long as the ocean. Yet, within my small pupils exists eternal darkness. The darkest black is vibrant in my eyes. My pupils grasp light and deny its existence. Nothing nor nobody could exist in such pure darkness. My pupils are surrounded by fire-like amber. The amber burns without movement and slowly gives way to an emerald green. Forests of green overlap each other and create a complex spectrum. However this chaos is confined within a perfect circle. Red lines strike like lightning around the perfect circles. My eyes are too often bloodshot. Staring into a pair of eyes is like seeing the earth from space. A surreal beauty secretly exists in something that we so often overlook.
I get so close to the mirror I can see my reflection in my eyes. My perfect vision is blurred as I struggle to keep them open. My eyes are incredibly sensitive. Normal lighting can often cause them to water. I have difficulties looking strangers in their eyes, I feel insecure. I cannot find peace until I am surrounded by absolute darkness. I rub my eyes and take long blinks, but do not dare look away.
You can see in my eyes that I am a reserved person, but untold pains are present and emotions are always expressed. It might not be apparent to strangers, but my eyes are a map of troubles. Corresponding scars have slowly faded over the years, but they are ever obvious in my eyes. I question for a second whether the reflection really belongs to me. I am reassured by my eyes. Although unseen, my soul is ever present in those eyes looking back at me. They cannot hide the pain I feel inside. While my trembling mouth can tell stories and create lies, my eyes will never be unfaithful.
My sunglasses are a junkie’s last clean rig. I cannot allow my eyes to face the reality I’ve created for them. I can’t look her in the eyes. I can no longer expose my eyes and in essence my soul without shame. I take peace in eternal darkness. I won’t allow her to see the pain she’s caused. I hide behind my sunglasses. I shed my last tear to the solemn moon above, and continue hurting, wearing sunglasses in the dark.
(if i get the balls to turn it in, ive been lying about lacking a rough draft to avoid peer-edits etc.)
Suggestions will be taken into consideration.. so please share your thoughts
I spent the evening with my ex-girlfriend watching the city twinkle below us. Unusually timid, she sat on 2nd base while I nervously kicked dirt at the infield. She shared with me how she had moved on since our breakup and was happier. I lied and expressed that I was making similar advances. My eyes burned as I looked to the stars. It was then that she came near and whispered into my ear, “Why do you wear sunglasses in the dark?”
Her driveway is less than a block from the baseball field. I sit alone in the car watching her close the front door behind her. Every time. Every time it is my whole world walking away. Every time it is the last time I will see her again. Before I can put my car in gear, I must scratch the mental itch that plagues me. I remove my sunglasses and turn to the rear-view mirror.
At the worst of moments I ache to find a mirror. The desire cannot be explained, and I feel lost and uncompleted until it is fulfilled. I approach the mirror like a child opening his only birthday present. I’m unsure of what I will find and am scared that it won’t be enough. I am reminded of a self-image similar to that of which is flashed in my mind. My body has grown and changed with the passing days. Within seconds, my eyes lock with my worst enemy. My eyes. My hazel eyes. The only portal to my darkest secrets and my deepest self are wide open in front of me. I am strongly intimidated by the truths they cannot hide. I feel like a child behind a Halloween mask. No matter how thick the mask I wear, my eyes always shine through. A beacon in the starless night.
My eyes could easily be covered by infant hands. They don’t share the mass of a burning star and they haven’t been around as long as the ocean. Yet, within my small pupils exists eternal darkness. The darkest black is vibrant in my eyes. My pupils grasp light and deny its existence. Nothing nor nobody could exist in such pure darkness. My pupils are surrounded by fire-like amber. The amber burns without movement and slowly gives way to an emerald green. Forests of green overlap each other and create a complex spectrum. However this chaos is confined within a perfect circle. Red lines strike like lightning around the perfect circles. My eyes are too often bloodshot. Staring into a pair of eyes is like seeing the earth from space. A surreal beauty secretly exists in something that we so often overlook.
I get so close to the mirror I can see my reflection in my eyes. My perfect vision is blurred as I struggle to keep them open. My eyes are incredibly sensitive. Normal lighting can often cause them to water. I have difficulties looking strangers in their eyes, I feel insecure. I cannot find peace until I am surrounded by absolute darkness. I rub my eyes and take long blinks, but do not dare look away.
You can see in my eyes that I am a reserved person, but untold pains are present and emotions are always expressed. It might not be apparent to strangers, but my eyes are a map of troubles. Corresponding scars have slowly faded over the years, but they are ever obvious in my eyes. I question for a second whether the reflection really belongs to me. I am reassured by my eyes. Although unseen, my soul is ever present in those eyes looking back at me. They cannot hide the pain I feel inside. While my trembling mouth can tell stories and create lies, my eyes will never be unfaithful.
My sunglasses are a junkie’s last clean rig. I cannot allow my eyes to face the reality I’ve created for them. I can’t look her in the eyes. I can no longer expose my eyes and in essence my soul without shame. I take peace in eternal darkness. I won’t allow her to see the pain she’s caused. I hide behind my sunglasses. I shed my last tear to the solemn moon above, and continue hurting, wearing sunglasses in the dark.
