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summer time, better or worse times!? I have no URGE during the summer.

ImSTILLtrying

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May 31, 2016
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going back, back, to Cali, Cali - and sometimes Bo
well, its that time of year where where its sunny out, so what does that mean? everyone is different, I am sure. I happen to be doing the "best" I've been in a long ass time but just noticing that even w/ this weather I have no urge to use. its nice out, I have places to be, things to do, GIRLS TO DO, etc. so rather than blow money while sitting in the house on a cold day/night, I am going out w/ a girl(s) that I am seeing and just hanging out and chilling like a normal human being, ya know!? sounds good, right? maybe its just me and where I am at because I have been using far too long and finally starting to come around and been at my best; havent used in a few months (NOTHING!) and man, that is like a lifeitme to someone like me. so I am damn proud. and w/ this summer, it could not be any better.

however, from other meetings I've been to/heard from, I have people saying that the summer is tough because the days are longer and they feel the time is on their side. I understand everyone is different, and here in CA, its always a summer day to a degree, but I travel a lot and get both side of the world due to family and other things, so I can understand but please, keep it summer so I can always have that behind me as a sponsor of mine, ha. that is truly my sponsor right now, the weather. my suboxone Dr. asks me if I go to meetings and have a sponsor; my answer to both? NO! I do see a counselor because I find it best and I have been to a meeting here and there but I do NOT go often. I enjoy my psyh Dr. because they help out with LIFE in general - I have MANY PROBLEMS outside of drugs. so yea, things are good and I am happy that I do not have to use, etc.

I am barely working as is, so I dont even have the funding to "party" like I once did; using 1G+ a day w/ ease. but even so, I have GF(s) that cost $$ and its hard enough to pay to do little petty things w/ these girls so the drugs come in last; I need girls because my DICK WORKS AGAIN, lol. esp. at 2MG bupe . my Dr. thinks I am on 16MG bupe but I am only on 2MG and I am feeling better than ever.

all around, this is a post saying I am happy; I am truly happy w/ where I am at in life and maybe I shouldnt be. but i am.
 
That's what I'm hoping to do I enrolled in college and work extra hours try to go with sober people out even if I'm still using I try to live a normal life ... After a few years the IV H ends up just being food water oxygen, you need to eat 3 times a day or you slowly start feeling worse and worse hour by hour same with water right? Same with opiates so whatever I look at it that way as long as I can keep going forward. But it's not the fully potential me and it's not the optimal financial way either :/
 
It's very warm here this time of year and it is helping me not smoke cigarettes. I quit three weeks ago and never smoked inside my house. It's too darn hot to go outside to smoke. Turns my stomach. So that's a good thing. So glad to be smoke-free.
 
Everyone's different. I have and would use drugs all year round, and the season, or weather outside did not matter.

The only time I would not use any at all would be if I was sick with a cold, or way too busy with life, classes, and work.
 
I hate the cold. I'm from Florida and used to the heat. I don't tolerate it as well when not in shape and not used to being in it. But I would rather sweat than be cold.

My family has been in the south for a couple hundred years. I read that in cases like that people tend to sweat more to better deal with the heat. No clue if it's true, but once my body reaches a certain temp I start sweating and it's like a faucet. I'm not over weight and was o.k. amazing shape for many years and even then it was the same. So now that it's warmed up I've been exercising a lot more and when it's cold I have no desire. To me, exercise is the best way to get my head feeling normal and I'm trying to stop oxy pills so this helps a lot. Some days I even exercise a couple times.

I was on 400-600 mg of IR oxy (plugged) a day for close to a decade and down to 12 mg of dilaudid. I want to get off the dilaudid but it's enough to basically keep withdrawals away and keep my stomach from hurting. I think I'm still experiencing some PAWS like symptoms even though not completely off. I felt like I was manic and got super pissed off and focused on something and had no control or regulation of how mad I got. And I got scary pissed about things and wouldn't let it go. But it seems to be getting better. Even when on full amount of opiates I got agitated and snapped at people and that's really not me. That's half the reason I wanted to stop because it felt like my brain chemistry was off and I didn't like it.

I love the summer. I just have to get comfortable in my own skin again and get a tan and start being social. But one step at a time. I can't do everything at once.

It's great to hear you are doing well. Use whatever you can to not use and enjoy life!
 
The summer makes me remember the sickness. Running all over in a heavy sweatshirt while freezing and sweating.
It's the beginning of spring makes me want to use. This might sound ridiculous, but it's something about the slight change in the smell of the air from the transition of winter to spring. My doctor's told me more people are hospitalized in the spring due to exacerbation of mental illness symptoms, so I guess this makes sense in a way.

Regardless, whatever you're doing to keep yourself in check, keep going with it. The further out you are from the last you used, the easier it gets.
 
It [the thread] should stay here, at least as applies to drugs; as applies in general, it belongs in Second Opinion, but we're talking about drugs already so...

Svmer is icumen in, lhude sing cuccu!
Groweþ sed and bloweþ med and
springþ þe wde nu—Sing cuccu!


Now, rousing and pleasant to the ear as that is, let me tell you how I really feel. Be forewarned, curmudgeonry and generalized misanthropy here in scoops.

I hate the summer and drugs make it worse.

Beginning slowly as soon as the thermometer goes about 70°F (20ish for our Eurofriends), I can take that, but I really hate it and start getting agitated when it starts getting above 80-85ish (25-30) I hate it to a degree that I've given serious consideration to moving somewhere where I don't have to take it as badly for as long (and the City does make it a few degrees worse.)

I hate waking up feeling weak and dehydrated (either from sweating or from AC), I hate sweating just getting to and from work everyday, I tend to sweat a lot (clonidine and glycopyrrollate help, though and I'm always self-conscious about it. I hate the fact that all my favorite open spaces are filled with people, many of which are not quite my sort (which I do not mean in a strictly racial way, hipsters or mama-blog type women are just as far removed from me socially as any different race.) I hate when you're going somewhere with your girl and people give are giving her shit; in relationship terms of course it'll vary by it's a lose/lose for a lot of females, confront them and hear her complain about it later, don't confront him and lose face and be able to tell that it is so with her as well later on; sometimes she'll confront them in your presence which is emasculating. Anyway. I hate the heat from the sky, the heat reflecting from the skyscrapers, the heat on the pavement, I hate the smell of fermented garbage in the city, and how it emboldens the rats. I do like the nights, a bit, some of them, at least when it's quiet and peaceful; I'm lucky enough to be close enough to some such places, but they can be rare in the City. I hate loud events and marches in the city that disrupt my commute and usually celebrate things that I have no interest in. Copping sucks unless it's delivery, period, especially as you often have to take more than one train and/or walk a spell depending on where you are.

When I used to be a kid on lot, the summer, of course, was primetime. Lots of festivals and concerts to go to, lots of money to be made. But you know what? It sucked. On the lower levels of the corporate ladder, especially; you sweated your way through 12, 14 hour days making the rounds. You were probably dressed fashionably for the scene which wasn't the most accommodating to the weather, whereas your girlfriend might be wearing nothing at all, same problem as above. You're making good money for low man on the totem pole, depending on your skill and your product, at least a few hundred dollars an hour and possibly more, so consider yourself well compensated by the trouble, but then there's the tents, the travel, the dehydraton ... it all sucks. (That's why your boss is staying at a hotel room with a regular shuttle to lot.) Speed or coke might help you work, but will dehydrate you and risk collapse, get too obviously opiated and it effects business, get anywhere near nod torritory and you'll probably do it and risk a horrible sunburn. Beer is a diuretic. Psychedelics and dissociatives tend to invite heat delirium. After night (post-music) is when the real weirdos and the occasional scary fuck comes along. And to top it all off, the music sucks. Usually two or three acts worth going to and usually they put on a decently workmanlike show but the best shows I've heard have all been off-season. And, deducting expenses, you'd spend all that cash on some work to take home and make more money there than you did at the festival. (This, and perhaps many jobs in this field, are apparently is no longer necessary due to yet another infelicity of the young Mr. Ulbricht's inviting the end user. An outsourcing cunt like all the rest.) So there's that. So much for festivals.

And so much for the city, as above. Fuck it. I'm already miserable and we're not even into July. I really do seriously consider moving somewhere which isn't so bad with the summer heat. Alaska has unironically entered my mind, maybe at least the Fargo-speaking states or perhaps Maine, I always liked Maine and Vermont, but somewhere that does not have a fucking brutal summer. California, despite reports of cities that stay 70° all year round I don't think I could take the culture :p

This is probably the most boo hoo negative nancy post I've made in a while but I truly do have what would be considered seasonal–affective disorder with an atypical (i.e., inverse of the norm) character, and I'm in the process of transitioning I guess. The only times I have been low enough to actually consider topping myself have been in the summer. Lhude sing cucu indeed.
 
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I prefer the bright sunshine overlooking my drug abuse, preferably with some nice "dry heat" included.

Unfortunately I'm not currently able to participate in the aforementioned drug abuse. Whether this absence is to remain temporary or permanent remains to be seen
 
Currently I'm dying a slow heat death, and codeine is being very helpful in that regard. But generally I don't really care which time of the year it is. I hate excessive heat though, and if I know how to help the situation, I might overindulge.
 
I've bee JAMMIN' to some DRUGS in the AC all SUMMER LONG! lol. no, I've been pretty good all summer! just what I am scripted for the most part because I've been staying busy. although, there are some days that it's been extremely hot and I decided to sit in all day and it may have crossed my mind about 9393939939x's. did I give in? sure did, but not every time. I've been great all summer long thus far and will continue to! the fall is on the horizon and that is my favorite time of year. I think its WINTER which is worst when it comes to relapsing and whatnot; its dark at 4, its cold, you dont want to go out, etc. what else is there to do besides drugs? right? lol
 
i crave drugs equally all seasons

hate smoking anything in the summer, too hot, love it during winter though of course

i suppose holiday times always make me wanna get smothered in drogas
 
Alaska has unironically entered my mind

Alaska gets hot as hell sometimes...a couple of summers ago it regularly got up past 80 degrees where I live most of the time (and, since it's a maritime climate, it's the wettest, most humid heat I've ever experienced outside of Florida). Interior Alaska has more dry, desert-like heat.

i crave drugs equally all seasons

hate smoking anything in the summer, too hot, love it during winter though of course

i suppose holiday times always make me wanna get smothered in drogas

Hell yes! Especially Christmas and New Years. Last Christmas season I just drank lots of beer and snorted cocaine with my buddy on the east coast. It was fun.
 
What are you talking about? I love summer. Going to the beach, girls getting realy horny for a few months so you can fuck with out saying most of the things girls need to hear to be laid all the other months of the year, great parties everywhere... and drugs just come to add on the hole happy scene.
In winter, drugs are the best or even the only thing you can do to have a nice time.
 
I hate summer down in South FL. Its always hot here, even a good part of the winter its over 80 degrees, I'm over it. I'm a Floridian and have lived here my whole life but I hate the heat, probably because that's all it ever is here is hot. When it cools off in the winter after a good cold front, it makes me much happier and energetic. The 85-95 degree plus temps almost year round make it hard to do almost anything outside without becoming lethargic, overheated, and sweaty as fuck. I want to live somewhere where there are actually four fucking seasons, just am not able to right now due to money issues. One day though. And I use drugs no matter what season it is, but I especially like to smoke weed amongst other things when its cold out more so than when its hot AF. Smoke way more cigs when its cool or cold out too.
 
I'm like the mailman, rain, sun, sleet or snow. Gimme dope I'm ready to go...all year round. I used to think certain seasons brought cravings but at this point anytime is a good time I suppose
 
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