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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

Summer of Nothing

Stop trying to define yourself with inanimate objects and tests. You know who you are.

Stop trying to measure people to a standard for friendship. Even the most unlikely people can become good friends.
For example.... I picked up a guy hitch-hiking with his dog out of Alamosa to Flagstaff, and it turned out he's a total Dead-head. I mean a for real-real Deadhead.
We got to talking about all kinds of crap because at one time I too had been a serious pot-head before the Army. Even paid his fare with methadone 10mg tabs.
After about 50miles, he noticed the 9mm on my hip and asked me about it (and said he figured I'd have shot him by then if that'd been my intention), and after talking about guns for a while I offered to let him shoot it. He'd never even held a gun before, but was comfortable enough by then to consider it seriously.
So out by Cortez I found a good spot, and we did some shootin' with my handguns, rifles, and my AK. Got him hooked right then. From then on, whenever we'd meet up one of the first things he'd ask is if I had my AK so we could go shooting. It's kinda funny, and we both have fun. And in turn he's dragged me to a couple Dead & Phish shows.
Get it? Total stranger, things suprisingly in common, and found new things to enjoy.
I know.... most people suck. And they do. Truthfully what we all are is sacks of blood & guts moving about a world that we have little influence on. Just find a little corner of it that you can hold onto, and hope that may someone will come along that you can share things with. But stop trying to analyze yourself..... you'll find out as things go on.
 
As an INTP, are you fond of things like lists and plans?

If so you could write out a list of goals or plans that you'd like to accomplish before you head back to school, or whatever you're doing.
You say you want to go hiking, but none of your other friends are that cool. So find some people who do go hiking (internet groups, facebook, idk try something), and you'd likely find people who are not anti-pot in the process.
Make a plan to join a new group and go on cool trips with them. Try your best to get along with them, and don't immediately believe in your negative impressions of people.

I, as an INTP, was accused of immediately assuming the worst in people by my ex-girlfriend who hated when I judged a situation or a person so quickly. To me I thought I was just being analytical, but my analysis was often a very negative one. I learned that, if I ever want to get along with anyone, I need to not trust my initial assumptions/impressions about people and just see how things go, staying neutral all the while, until you have a real reason to either like or dislike someone as a friend.
 
^^This is the only advice I felt could have solid merit and pertinence to the issue, with #19 and #12 not far behind. Those urging me to "just stop analyzing" are no help at all, just a broken record. This is just not possible, it's not a choice, believe me if I could I would prevent it, it's given me enough grief already. This is such a core part of the mental machinery for people like myself that it occurs automatically like a primal function.

Anyway I have given new people a chance, honestly. But it's just another day when someone who appears to be intellectual enough to hold my interest gives me the vibe/instinct that there's something conformist and shallow about them. Then shortly later, when the subject comes up they make some ignorant crack about stoners, followed by stories of the stupid things they've done while drunk, implied "fun". Yeah I guess I can be negative, but it doesn't help when there is fuel for the fire, know what I mean? I guess I just have bad luck, but haven't ceased all efforts yet.

Anyway I've got one or two people I'm waiting to connect with, that I have a good feeling about, gut instinct optimism. I can sense based on the limited exchanges we've had that they they might genuinely open and receptive. Unfortunately these people travel and won't be in the area till the END of summer. The local meet-up groups for activities that interest me are swamped with mainly the middle-aged and married, so for now I'm stuck looking for good networking websites to use. It'd be nice if there are some that cater to open-minded thinking types, I have yet to find that gem.
 
Oh there is always going to be fuel for the fire of thinking people are dicks. That fire isn't going out any time soon.
What I'm saying is take whatever gut instinct analysis you have, and just put it on the back burner, don't let that form your final conclusion of that person. I think you will find that your gut instincts do have some merit, but, if you give people a long enough of a chance, whatever you draw from your analysis can be coupled with context and understanding, and perhaps a friend can be gained from someone who you never thought you'd get along with.

Understanding of people's faults is key for survival as an INTP. You must realize that everyone is kinda dumb (even you, me, everyone in this thread, those really cool people who you won't see till the end of summer, etc.), everyone is a little lame, and everyone has faults that pertain only to them. INTPs are so good at finding and focusing on stuff like this, it can definitely lead to social problems.
Those really lame people who you currently get high with might not be so bad after all. You might even succeed in getting them to do something outside of their ordinary routine. You need to be proactive in changing your scene, though.
 
arthunter888 said:
My summer is slowly wasting away. I live in a pretty major city (north east USA). I'm 21, male, in good shape. From age 16, I fell in love with cannabis, and made a circle of pot-head friends. They are all I know pretty much still. I was never as heavy a user as my friends, I only need a half bowl a day total.

I was always intensely intellectual. I was recognized by many school teachers as an outstanding student, perceiving and connecting with subtleties others missed, and very clearly articulate with my ideas. My mind is always racing with analysis, and this ties into a fascination with mind-blowing things: consciousness, existentialism, psychedelic states, etc. I am most definitely an INTP personality. This is very rare, and what makes things more rare is I am a non-conformist as well. I loathe the superficiality of mainstream society and their cookie-cutter lives. It is too shallow a life IMO. I guess you could say Terence Mckenna is my idol.

My soul is yearning for a change, something new, something refreshing. I feel I am on a different level than my friends, and I know this is true. They sit around like archetypal pot-heads, playing video games, not thinking, not questioning, just sedated. I want to meet new people, but this is hard and I am extremely introverted and shy, but somewhat confident at least. I can only seem to connect with other intellectuals, but most of the time they lack the open-mindedness I have with drugs in general. It is very important they be open to my interests without writing me off as a druggie.

I really want to go hiking, exploring, and just absorbing the fleeting summer that will be over soon, but I have no one to connect and share this with. I hope there is someone who can relate to this solitary state and help me out.
Share some ideas about how to move forward. thanks for reading, sorry about length.
Click to expand...

Your life sounds freakishly similar to mine. I have the same kinda friends sounds like, an I tire of the same routine day in an day out. All we do is toke up and do random shit.

I'm not tired of the tokin really just the friends. They never seem to give a ratsass about anything sept weed. I feel like they don't rly give a sit abt me or any of my other smokin buddies, all their in it for is the weed.

It's sad to me, cuz all our friendship is just about gettin high(which I love) but if we werent getting high together I knw we wudnt be friends.
 
arthunter888 said:
^^This is the only advice I felt could have solid merit and pertinence to the issue, with #19 and #12 not far behind. Those urging me to "just stop analyzing" are no help at all, just a broken record. This is just not possible, it's not a choice, believe me if I could I would prevent it, it's given me enough grief already. This is such a core part of the mental machinery for people like myself that it occurs automatically like a primal function.

Anyway I have given new people a chance, honestly. But it's just another day when someone who appears to be intellectual enough to hold my interest gives me the vibe/instinct that there's something conformist and shallow about them. Then shortly later, when the subject comes up they make some ignorant crack about stoners, followed by stories of the stupid things they've done while drunk, implied "fun". Yeah I guess I can be negative, but it doesn't help when there is fuel for the fire, know what I mean? I guess I just have bad luck, but haven't ceased all efforts yet.

Anyway I've got one or two people I'm waiting to connect with, that I have a good feeling about, gut instinct optimism. I can sense based on the limited exchanges we've had that they they might genuinely open and receptive. Unfortunately these people travel and won't be in the area till the END of summer. The local meet-up groups for activities that interest me are swamped with mainly the middle-aged and married, so for now I'm stuck looking for good networking websites to use. It'd be nice if there are some that cater to open-minded thinking types, I have yet to find that gem.
Click to expand...

You don't have to stop having an analytical attitude or whatever. I think the key issue here is how you can use your analytical attitude to try achieve your aim of meeting interesting new people.

Think about it this way; everybody on some level has the ability to appreciate the kind of intellectual things that seem to interest as long you explain it to them on their level. Even an ignorant redneck can appreciate the cosmological issues inherent in taking something like LSD if you frame it in a way that he can relate to. Now I am not saying you should be getting rednecks to drop tabs, but you can definitely make it easier for people to share things in common with you.

I'll give you another; I used to live in Michigan where no one knows anything about electronic music and just knowing about Tiesto was considered underground or whatever. Most of the people listening to shitty pop/rap and all that trash. So I couldn't really enjoy the kind of music I liked in a social setting. But what I would do is put on some of the more accessible electronic music when I would be chilling with some of my good friends. While it wasn't the best electronic around, it let them get into the kind of stuff I liked. If I insisted on only hanging out with people who knew a lot about the EDM scene, there would simply be no one left for me to hang out with.

Be yourself, but adapt to your environment and make the most of your situation. It's can be hard to do, but that's all you got. :)
 
^^lol

That would make for a hilarious day (for the non-redneck sitter). But no, everyone should drop acid or some other heavy classic psych. This country lacks proper humility. Everyone needs a good dose of earth shattering humility once in a while (or if not just once), to keep the ego recognized as just a construct/illusion, which it is.
Then this might work towards less people wearing a "mask" to create an outward social image and more people showing the world their genuine selves. Ah but a dream 'tis. I rarely wear one. Those who do not wear such masks often are who I seek ultimately.
 
levictus said:
I used to live in Michigan where no one knows anything about electronic music and just knowing about Tiesto was considered underground or whatever. Most of the people listening to shitty pop/rap and all that trash.
Click to expand...

Then you didn't live in Detroit (to a lesser extent E. Lansing & Kzoo). From '95-'98 (when I left) there was a slammin rave scene, with everyone showing up from Dieselboy, Freaky Flow, & LTJ Bukem on the D&B tip; Digweed, Doran, DJ Micro, Underworld, Aphex Twin, & Rinocerose showing up regularly for Trance & House, the X-Cutioners, the Roots, & Invsble Skratch Piklz doing the turntablism/hip-hop thing, and home-grown greats like Ritchie Hawtin, Derrek May, & Claude Young were always around. Tiesto wasn't even around yet, and Oakenfold stuck to the East & West Coast scenes
And I'm talking real parties, not theme-nights at the weekly dance-club. Although 3-Floors-of-Fun at St. Andie's was.... fun. LOL A lot of times there weren't even flyers per-se for those events, just a set of directions on a dito-copied sheet of paper (and following scavanger hunt), or simply word-of-mouth.
I left right after the first DEMF, and that was a sweet festival.
 
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