I am sitting in my fluorescent-lit hell, the Methadone Clinic. It really does amaze me how most people here act. It is without a doubt the highlight of their day. I watch them hobknobbing as if they are at a high society cocktail party. They really work the room.
I wear my headphones... Sony MDR-V700s,huge cups...DJ headphones. I do so for the sound but a great fringe benefit is that it is impossible to hear the noise around me. I try not to get into a "Holier than thou" complex but...As a human being many of them just may be much better than I will ever be. On how they let others perceive them though? That is another story...Maybe 95% of the clientele is Puerto Rican. Puerto Rican junkies have, for some unexplainable reason, incredibly scratchy voices."Papiiiiiiii,ya' got a cigarette I could buy?"
Most use rascals or whatever you call those little scooters, I tend to call them "cotton topped hover craft" but hey, that's just me. It would be fine if they were physically disabled but I have yet to see one who is. It is like someone screeching into a handicapped parking space in the carpark and then running into the store with vigour, the same annoying-fucked up bullshit.
There is a number system here. You come in, show your ID at the door. Then you go upstairs and show it yet again. There, if there isn't anything like signing paperwork, giving a urine sample, you get a paper ticket with a number on it. You then sit in a huge waiting area. When your number is called it will show up on a large computer monitor on the wall, telling you which of the 15 windows you will go to. However, there is always someone trying to get over, to cut in line. Why the fuck are you THAT hard up that you need to cut in line at a Methadone Clinic? Then, always, they hang out bullshitting as if they hadn't dosed yet. Why cut and THEN still hang out?
I have to say, as much as I prefer methadone over morphine I do not miss the clinical environment when in the Philippines.
On to a somewhat less stresful topic, only somewhat...Joysa wants to live with me. I explained that this just would not be possible. I can't take her to Mindanao, I live in Rizza's family compound. My marriage might be over in real terms but to Mindanowan Bisaya there is no way out. The Philippines is 1 of 2 nations in the world where divorce is illegal, Malta being the other ass-backwards nation. There is annullment but Rizza and I have been legally married (under Philippine Law) for nearly a decade, though in real terms we have almost 13 years. Annullment just won't work.
I could primarily live in the studio I sublet in Makati City in Metro Manila, only going down to Mindanao once every two weeks or something along those lines but I think I have too many commitments for that. I could also liquidate my assets on Mindanao, something I have been considering for a short while.
Joysa is 23, turning 24 in 12 days. That is another thing..."Baby, are you gonna' be here for my birthday?"
Me: "I don't know hon. At this point I'm just trying to tie up whatever loose ends I still have in the US."
Her:"I want you here for my birthday! It is my present, now you can't deny me! Haha."
Me:"Look baby, you know if it is humanly possible I will make it."
Here is where I play my trump card
Me: "Honey, tell you what. You book a ticket for me, make the reservation in my name and tell them I'll pay cash at the ticket counter within 24 hours. Make sure the One Way fare is less than 900 US."
This way she sees for herself that getting home in 12 days is no easy thing. Places the onus on her.
She's a great girl. But girls her age wants to make a family. She has said she wants to convert to Judaism, which shocked me at the time, but I don't know if this is right...How long do I have? Stage 5 HCV (Hep-C)...I haven't even told her I have HCV. It isn't sexually transmittable so as long as I don't liver with her (because of the risk from shared razors and toothbrushes) there isn't any reason why I have to disclose it. I believe though that its time to have that discussion...when she and I are face to face.
I wear my headphones... Sony MDR-V700s,huge cups...DJ headphones. I do so for the sound but a great fringe benefit is that it is impossible to hear the noise around me. I try not to get into a "Holier than thou" complex but...As a human being many of them just may be much better than I will ever be. On how they let others perceive them though? That is another story...Maybe 95% of the clientele is Puerto Rican. Puerto Rican junkies have, for some unexplainable reason, incredibly scratchy voices."Papiiiiiiii,ya' got a cigarette I could buy?"
Most use rascals or whatever you call those little scooters, I tend to call them "cotton topped hover craft" but hey, that's just me. It would be fine if they were physically disabled but I have yet to see one who is. It is like someone screeching into a handicapped parking space in the carpark and then running into the store with vigour, the same annoying-fucked up bullshit.
There is a number system here. You come in, show your ID at the door. Then you go upstairs and show it yet again. There, if there isn't anything like signing paperwork, giving a urine sample, you get a paper ticket with a number on it. You then sit in a huge waiting area. When your number is called it will show up on a large computer monitor on the wall, telling you which of the 15 windows you will go to. However, there is always someone trying to get over, to cut in line. Why the fuck are you THAT hard up that you need to cut in line at a Methadone Clinic? Then, always, they hang out bullshitting as if they hadn't dosed yet. Why cut and THEN still hang out?
I have to say, as much as I prefer methadone over morphine I do not miss the clinical environment when in the Philippines.
On to a somewhat less stresful topic, only somewhat...Joysa wants to live with me. I explained that this just would not be possible. I can't take her to Mindanao, I live in Rizza's family compound. My marriage might be over in real terms but to Mindanowan Bisaya there is no way out. The Philippines is 1 of 2 nations in the world where divorce is illegal, Malta being the other ass-backwards nation. There is annullment but Rizza and I have been legally married (under Philippine Law) for nearly a decade, though in real terms we have almost 13 years. Annullment just won't work.
I could primarily live in the studio I sublet in Makati City in Metro Manila, only going down to Mindanao once every two weeks or something along those lines but I think I have too many commitments for that. I could also liquidate my assets on Mindanao, something I have been considering for a short while.
Joysa is 23, turning 24 in 12 days. That is another thing..."Baby, are you gonna' be here for my birthday?"
Me: "I don't know hon. At this point I'm just trying to tie up whatever loose ends I still have in the US."
Her:"I want you here for my birthday! It is my present, now you can't deny me! Haha."
Me:"Look baby, you know if it is humanly possible I will make it."
Here is where I play my trump card
Me: "Honey, tell you what. You book a ticket for me, make the reservation in my name and tell them I'll pay cash at the ticket counter within 24 hours. Make sure the One Way fare is less than 900 US."
This way she sees for herself that getting home in 12 days is no easy thing. Places the onus on her.
She's a great girl. But girls her age wants to make a family. She has said she wants to convert to Judaism, which shocked me at the time, but I don't know if this is right...How long do I have? Stage 5 HCV (Hep-C)...I haven't even told her I have HCV. It isn't sexually transmittable so as long as I don't liver with her (because of the risk from shared razors and toothbrushes) there isn't any reason why I have to disclose it. I believe though that its time to have that discussion...when she and I are face to face.
