Okay, I'm procrastinating: it is the ultimate thief of time, and I have a hell of a lot editing work to do; I don't want to blame my sub-standard staff for this, but I may have to.
If you post a suicide note on Bluelight, then what can we do? I was in one hell of a state when someone whom I cared about posted that she was about to end it. Unfortunately, I didn't see it at the time, and thank God they are still with us!
When I joined this site, it was for advice and solutions to problems. Now every other week there's someone threatening suicide, and I'm sorry, but I don't think that this is the right place for such declarations: I was seriously considering editing the recent post entitled 'Rate my note' in order to make it readable, but this honestly is not what I signed up to this site for! If you're feeling suicidal then you need a crisis line; they might send someone out to offer you their help, but believe it or not, there are some people (here) who hold life sacred, and seeing these posts so often screws us up. It may not be your fault and I don't want to blame you for feeling suicidal, however, if you're experiencing typical feelings of angst associated with being a teenager, there are better outlets for your emotions and many individuals who're qualified to help you out in the real world; the best we can do is help put you in contact with such people.
Back in the day, I remember Drugwench (who was a moderator I think) and I often wonder what happened to her (I'm hoping she's Libby now but don't know).
As my hero (and weirdly friends with my mum) Henry Rollins said, 'the whole world's got problems, but I've got problems of my own.' Yes, Bluelight is in an outlet for the discussion of problematic experiences or venting of unpleasant emotions but no one here is a professsional, apart from one member (it's not you MissyKins, I'm sorry) meaning that the posters can't offer you advice that you'd get from a professional therapist or psychologist, psychiatrist, or someone well-versed in aiding those need help and have contemplated suicide as a permanent solution to temporary problems. Break down your suidal ideation (as long as that is all it is) and vent, for hearing people saying the likes of 'I've downed some pills, please help' leaves us unable to help: what can we do? In the case involving my friend, I was slow off the blocks, but wish I'd done something to help.
So please, suidide ain't painless (in reference to the Manica cover) and I like this site but please think about what you're saying, truly, as idiots like me worry (and I know I'm not the only idiot I hope!)
There: I refined your post to make more sense, though it's a lot less concise, but when getting one's point across, I think it's very important to make sure you say exactly what you mean. I just attempted to re-write certain parts (written in bold) in order to reflect the sort of ideas and emotions I felt from your post,
captaincaveman. Trust me when I say that I'm on your side here: there's truly very little that can be done when a user claims to have attempted suicide, but there are
some means of providing assistance: if, whilst the individual remains conscious, they can be convinced to give-up their personal details, such as their telephone number and address, then someone can easily call the police. It's happened a number of times before for various members of this website, whether trolls, prolific posters or absolute pariahs; games of "Chinese Whispers" begin where someone notices a post, then wakes whomever else they believe can help in order to get the suicidal user's information, and then to hand it over to someone who'll call the police.
Stella Blue was very concerned about people attempting to commit suicide and seemed to bury herself under the emotional and physical problems of everyone who messaged her, more-or-less, and she ended up needing to take holidays away from this, for it certainly became a lot like a typical job, except her work-hours encompassed every moment in the day, and due to people in different time-zones from other countries, or even American cities, she could not deal with everyone's problems herself.
I was very straightforward in my treatment of people wanting to die: I'd basically slap them in the balls, verbally, and try to explain how much pain they'd cause, coupled with the astronomically low probability of their even existing, all the while attempting to convince them of my personal philosophies regarding life, which is thus: the world exists for you and only you, you're going to die anyway, you may as well enjoy yourself and try to do something you've never done before; defy social norms, speak to a pretty girl and invite her out for coffee or some other arbitrary entertainment, like a romantic walk by the river where you'll perhaps get to know one another; try buying a battered up old car and entering the doomed vehicle into a destruction derby if you're so desperate to die, and then face carnage and adrenaline and vairous hormones, neurotransmitters and all-sorts causing explosive chain-reactions of joy and happiness within your head! Go hang-gliding or water-skiing, or quit your job, fly overseas and attempt to make a new life for yourself there, in the thick of something, but
just try something new and stop whining because it's pointless!
Having said that, far more people ran to Stellablue than came to me for help, but in the end, we're all fantastic miracles; going to Mars there's, as far as I know, not even a microbe, yet here you are living in relative luxury (you've access to the internet, and alongside that, presumably fresh, clean food, clean, filtered water, a soft bed, a roof over your head, modern electrical goods and household plumbing that you likely take for granted, but which a majority of people throughout the world see as the pinnacle of luxury!
We all get scared and we all make mistakes, but putting a gun to our head really is refusing to allow anyone to help us, and that's alright: I understand, you're scared, I'm scared; we're all scared at one point or another, but it's the ability to overcome these issues that will allow you to take life head-on, grab it by the horns and demand what you rightly deserve for being awesome enough to avoid a deadly needle, gunshot or noose, and so-on... Sure, there're people with legitimate questions (philosophical questions, most likely) regarding the legitimacy of life and whether or not one ought to celebrate it when it's highly odd, but can be incredibly painful and boring, and in some cases people can't be convinced not to kill themselves, even when confronted with their loved ones, and whilst this is sad, such people cannot be stopped by myself, and would need to be constantly restrained, stealing their freedom and forcing them to obey doctors and nurses whilst imprisoned for what could be the rest of their lives! All of that is sad, doubtlessly.
ADVICE FOR CAPTAINCAVEMAN: just avoid the threads about suicide and you'll not have to read about some poor soul's desperate desire to destroy themselves, asking on a forum dedicated to
HARM REDUCTION and taking the idea of 'Harm Reduction' to its logical conclusion,
Harm Reduction =
SAVING LIVES and thus suicide has no place here, however the majority of people who post about their suicide can be talked out of it! This is undoubtedly
GOOD! %)
Lots of love, guys 'nd gals!
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