literally the only things i have ever felt pleasure from are my girlfriend who im madly in love with and opiates. fuck hobbies. seriously i just do not understand it boggles my mind. ive been terrified of nothing my whole life... damn anxiety. i am always bored and restless in the worst way.
and love (from my girl, not the family, havent felt any feelings for them since i was 8 ) is the only thing other than chemicals that make me smile now. and it scares me because if i lose that i might as well lose everything nah mean?
