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Suicidal Ideation - How to stop it?

wooger

wooger

Bluelighter
Joined
Aug 3, 2005
Messages
765
I'll be okay for a couple of weeks but then it comes back, and it's getting worse and worse...

I've tried numerous antidepressants and exercising and all that crap but it's just getting worse...

God, I wish I was dead :(
 
Wooger and Brighton, all i can say is that having lived through years of those feelings in my past I can sympathize with the devastating feeling of helplessness in the face of their persistence and intensity. And having now lived many years past those feelings, I try to see what made them go away, what helped, what changed? It is heartbreaking for me to think about other people suffering this because I remember what it felt like--the hopelessness is overwhelming.

One of the things that helped the most was just surviving. With survival came time. With time came the realization that not everything I worried about in my future came true and not everything in my past that I thought mattered really did. When you are feeling hopeless it is usually because you have completely negative thoughts about your past and negative projections about your future. Just breathing and coming into your body right in the present moment and noticing what is around you right now is a very powerful tool to master. When you can concentrate on the actual present it gives your mind a little vacation from all that anxiety about the future and the past. Sometimes that vacation is enough to let the feelings move through you.

Getting your feelings out of isolation and onto paper or a site like this is a good idea. So many people are feeling this way or have felt this way and can relate. Some of the hardest things I have endured in my own life have been made so much easier just by sitting in a room full of people that knew exactly what I was feeling. No one had a magic bullet but we ended up being what we all needed for the short term.
 
Whenever I'm having those thoughts, I remind myself of all the times that I honestly wished I was dead, and when I was seriously considering ending my life, then I think of ALL the good things that have happened in between then and now. And it reminds me that if I had ended my life back then, I wouldn't have gotten to experience any of those fun/nice/happy moments since then. It just makes me remember that as hopeless and as depressed and desperate for a way out that I feel right then, things ALWAYS improve at some point. And they really do. wooger and brighton, even if you've been feeling depressed and suicidal for a long time, there is still room for things to improve and for you to feel happy again.

Another thought that pops in to my head whenever I'm having suicidal thoughts, is the phrase "It's not an option". I sometimes repeat that to myself over and over in my head, and this applies to whenever I'm feeling like harming myself as well. If you don't allow suicide to be an option for you, then your mind starts to explore other ways of solving your problems.

I hope that helps, even just a little bit. Take care guys <3
 
How to stop suicidal ideation? Want the bad news first? Maybe you'll never be able to stop it completely and the best you can hope for is stopping it at each phase in your life where it creeps up. I've been doing a little ideation myself this week. I'm 42 now. Hell, I got really good at suicidal ideation in the damn 1980s and I still do it sometimes! But you know what? For the most part it's nowhere near as bad as it was so many years ago. One big reason is that at various times in my life I just made up my mind. I wasn't going to kill myself so thinking about it didn't make any sense. And that kind of thinking actually works extremely well. I made up my mind like that when I was 17 or so and didn't have suicidal ideation again until I was well into my twenties.

In a funny way, having frequent suicidal ideation can actually help you stop ideating (not sure if that's a real word). It allows you to look back and thing "wow, I've thought about killing myself 18 times a day for the past million days but I'm still alive. Seems pretty unlikely that I'm ever going to do it. You think about it a thousand times and yet never did it! The numbers are so against it, that you might as well accept that it's kind of silly to think about it."

Seriously, this can work. I guess the problem with me is that eventually the suicidal ideation will creep back.
 
I don't have any advice really on how to stop it but i can tell you that atleast in my case it's pretty much gone away. For years i felt suicidal and felt like what's the point of living when I'm constantly miserable and in pain. I have bipolar disorder as well as a horrible chronic pain condition so that combination is not exactly conducive to mental health. After years of trying to get it controlled with medications i finally seemed to get it under control. I still have my bad spots but nothing like what i had in my early 20's that was just miserable.

The only advise i can give you is to hang in there. If things managed to get better for a miserable cunt such as myself there is hope for anyone :\
 
Practise. Lots of it.

What worked for me was immediately challenging the thoughts when they came up. I would think something specific, but then immediately start asking myself: am I tired, am I hungry, am I frustrated, and so on. Basically, it was somewhere between rooting out the irrational nature of the thoughts, trying to trace it to some rational root (I tend to conflate depression and physical tiredness, and get really touchy if I'm too hungry), and drowning it out with conscious thought.

There are other ways of doing it, but that has worked well for me in the past. Focusing on the present moment can help too. For example, I may feel lousy about something that happened even 5 minutes ago, or am dreading something that will happen soon, but right now I'm sitting in a comfortable room, chatting with friends on the internet. Can't get much better than that. :)

I know that all of that likely sounds pretty glib to you-- I know that it would sound like that were I in a bad state-- but give it a try. Even just drowning the thoughts out with a stupid little tune helps; I'm really susceptible to earworms, so I've learned to make use of them over the years.
 
Don't know if this will work for you but for me it helps to do something repetitive that requires concentration. For example, I used to make seed bead bracelets with the names of rock bands and things like that. It doesn't matter too much what specifically, could be doing a jigsaw puzzle, knitting, sorting things, the trick is to find something engrossing but not so complicated as to be frustrating. More often the problem for me is obsessing about the idea rather than the idea itself. Having irrational thoughts is part of being creative, the key is being able to recognize those thoughts as irrational and not acting on them.
 
For me, the worse thing is trying to ignore those thoughts.

You must realize that you will have these types of thoughts and when you do; dont run from them as that never helps.
Set aside 5 or 10 minutes to think about the state of mind you in. Truly try and look deep at your feeling at that moment.

Then after the allotted time (set a timer if you must), say, 'Thats it, that is all the time I'm giving those thoughts! and go do something else. Say it out loud at first, several times!

What you dont want to do is hide from those feeling. For that 5 minutes take them out, so to speak and look at them. Examine them. Look at all sides. Then, like a good book or toy, PUT IT UP! Think nothing about it them till next time.

Gradually, the time you think about those feeling will grow farther and farther between and you will be less worried about it when those feeling creep up.

Its sorta like exercising, at first it hard to do but then it gets easier and easier to do.

Good luck and be blessed,

-Onion
 
thanks for all the advice everybody :)

I had a really good day today too, my student support occicer at my university heard about my experiences with my local mental health clinic and she also knows about a ridiculous overdose I took a few weeks ago ( I don't get on with my family so shes kinda awesome to have around)..

She even called the clinic for me cus she said she doesnt think I'm getting the help I need.

but really thanks for the responses, its kinda fading again now but sometimes the urge is really strong and I really dont trust myself in a really serious manner! but I will try some of your suggestions for sure, thanks everyone :).
 
And don't forget that you can always post on here when the thoughts/feelings get really strong, because there are MANY people right here in TDS who care about you and will talk with you until the feelings subside <3
 
Indeed; that's what we're here for. I'd guess that the venting thread alone has saved a life or two in its history.

You're good people wooger, and while I'm just an abstract random internet person (who doesn't even have a bloody avatar, for fucksakes!), I wholeheartedly believe that. The world would be diminished without you.

:)
 
aww thank you both! I don't see it myself, theres nothing nice I can see in me, but I very much appreciate your kindness!
 
You're just too close to it, and too used to identifying yourself in a certain way. Your kindness oozes out of practically every post.

No hyperbole.
 
if you make it through the night, there's a brighter day. - <3

I have a lot of these feelings..most of them stem from the comedown from meth but they've been there before too (sucidal tendencies since age 11). and it might have been Tupac that said that quote above ^^ but it's proven to be very true for me. I've learned that when I wake up the next day, or wait until it passes, I'm glad I didn't do it. sorta like the feeling you get after you've done something disastrous, such as taking a bunch of pills or doing anything that might end your life. the "OH FUCK" flash, and the million pounds of regret and fright. maybe it doesn't happen to everyone, as everyone is different. just my personal experience. keep your heads up <3
 
I agree with the write down on paper idea. Find a good beat and try writing a rap, even if its not your thing its always fun to tell someone that you wrote a rap which they will either find funny, or they might want to hear it!

Personally I never find toughing it out, or "being strong" ever works.. do something to make yourself appretiate living that isn involving drugs. Like walk until your legs are killing you and then keep walking until your starving... then reward yourself with some food at a restaraunt! or if you still feel terrible walk home, and make yourself some food. you will be happy to eat, and be tired from walking.

now this is just an idea of something that would work for me. I find that exerting myself (long ass runs or bike rides) act as a sort of little pilgramige. And creating something like a meal, gives me tactile gratification and lets me appretiate food. Maybe im a nut case. This may not work for a basket case but if your a nut case it may work for you too!
 
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