Suicidal freak: Lost in mind

[botaanik]

Here is just word's from person who have made suicide with no result, but I will kill myself(soon). It's purley raw poem so here it is....

I am who I am and me is me
I'm closed in my brain
It's locked up in my mind
And I can't go behind my mind

I see people on the street having good time
I see myself as center of it and affraiding
I can't socialice with others, because of the wall!!!
I see, but I can't touch, I think, but nothing

I'm in invisible bubble, I see and then don't
I talk to people, but they've still far away,
away from my mind, just like I'm in trap in my mind
So don't judge me, I'm who I'm, the problem is,
that I'm cut off from the rest of the world.

Again, I cut myself to see how I bleed
Another line to nose and awake I'm
I don't want others to tell what I need
I know who I'm and I'm not braoud of it

I have lost all my friend's even more
my family reject me as a person. I have in the end of the line
My mind is overheated with all the information from, TV, internet,
college, book's, persons and so on. I need to pack because it's
time to leave. They've waiting me in place far far away from reality.
Till next time... wait a minute, you are not coming back
It's only one way ticket and.... and.... I wanish.

I haven't written any poem before, so.... just fuck it!

 

[(Wordy)]

Here is just word's from person who have made suicide with no result, but I will kill myself(soon).

I'm not 100% sure if you're referring to yourself, but if you are... please don't do that!

I can relate to what you say in your poem. From someone who has been down that path, believe me, no matter how bad things seem, it's never worth taking your own life.

 

[up all night]

^ What he said. Just keep reminding yourself that life is constantly changing and eventually everything will be different. Nothing stays this way forever. Nothing. Don't let your perceptions cloud your judgment.

 

[botaanik]

Thanks''s for advice but I'm repley in deep shit and monday have to go to mental hospital. They change my pill's to klosapiin and Effoxor. I still takeing natriumvalproat. benzos and all the drugs a I have access even psychedelics and RC's. Drugs made my mind to go that far. I can't say no.... here is another poem written on drugs and way of method to kill himself(me). Gun's and if I can't do it then benzos and other drugs so I can leave painfulles.

Suicidal freak: Still nothing

I drift away from my mind
I'm one of it's kind
I was never part of the reality
I was born like this, as a person who I am
So don't haste to say something to me
I will always be!!! Here, yes, just here, me

I'm a junky who can't stop or or say no
So it's time me to go
I will think best method, but nothing
I'm now going sale away from everything

Just two have to left. Pill's or gun
I don't know which is better nor find answer
Answer why to wait, I have done to muck damage
To my friends and family
I't like cancer, you can't take it away from your mind
So please let me go and be one of it's kind.

 

[(Wordy)]

life is constantly changing and eventually everything will be different. Nothing stays this way forever. Nothing.

So, so true. I hope you can get the help you need in hospital, botaanik, and I hope you can keep on living and writing. It's worth it!