up all night
Bluelight Crew
I never thought I'd be one of those girls.
Those desperate girls.
Those dependant girls.
But i woke up this morning and found her in my place.
With a mind that barely remembers innocent days
And a heart so full it's fit to burst.
So full of things which want to break it.
Next to a person who doesn't know I've awakened
From sleep, from my dreams, from my life.
And I lie beside him with my eyes open.
For once.
And I see the detail that'd I'd eclipsed with colour.
Tragedy and heartbreak, hopelessness and desperation
Were so attractive and I saw them in him.
Contentment is such a bland emotion.
So i followed him down to the place where you're no longer safe
And in here we found ourselves.
Living and loving, fighting and fucking, hurting and hoping.
Dig down, he'd told me
I'm sure it's around here somewhere.
I still don't know what we were looking for.
We wore our addictions like badges of honour.
Like physical evidence of our disgust at the world.
We'd never become colourless.
Never clones of society.
Yet gradually we had become cliches in our own right.
More naive to the workings of the world
Then the people whose happiness we scoffed at.
And I know that I should leave the warmth of this cement floor.
My soul not suited to the dark depths I find myself.
But loneliness has proved such a strong and loyal companion.
And the man beside me such a reliable failure.
It is a choice...
Of sorts.
So in my self confessed style of blandness
I walk the invisible line.
And i know I've always been
That desperate girl
That dependant girl
That girl who craves convention.
[ 28 January 2002: Message edited by: up all night ]
Those desperate girls.
Those dependant girls.
But i woke up this morning and found her in my place.
With a mind that barely remembers innocent days
And a heart so full it's fit to burst.
So full of things which want to break it.
Next to a person who doesn't know I've awakened
From sleep, from my dreams, from my life.
And I lie beside him with my eyes open.
For once.
And I see the detail that'd I'd eclipsed with colour.
Tragedy and heartbreak, hopelessness and desperation
Were so attractive and I saw them in him.
Contentment is such a bland emotion.
So i followed him down to the place where you're no longer safe
And in here we found ourselves.
Living and loving, fighting and fucking, hurting and hoping.
Dig down, he'd told me
I'm sure it's around here somewhere.
I still don't know what we were looking for.
We wore our addictions like badges of honour.
Like physical evidence of our disgust at the world.
We'd never become colourless.
Never clones of society.
Yet gradually we had become cliches in our own right.
More naive to the workings of the world
Then the people whose happiness we scoffed at.
And I know that I should leave the warmth of this cement floor.
My soul not suited to the dark depths I find myself.
But loneliness has proved such a strong and loyal companion.
And the man beside me such a reliable failure.
It is a choice...
Of sorts.
So in my self confessed style of blandness
I walk the invisible line.
And i know I've always been
That desperate girl
That dependant girl
That girl who craves convention.
[ 28 January 2002: Message edited by: up all night ]
