Succumbing to the addiction

[TakingTheBluePills]

Not sure if this is the right forum section. Was a BL'er several years ago but have since forgotten my username etc. Been dealing with a lot of stress recently as I am going back to university after withdrawing because of my addiction to painkillers, specifically oxy/roxy/oxymorph...god bless those old formulas. Anyway my ex girlfriend (we dated 4 years) still attends the university and I am finding myself constantly trapped in the mindset to escape the reality that we are no longer together with drugs. Pretty much the same plight of most addicts I assume, escaping an unfortunate and undesired reality through brief lapses in reality.

Just looking for some support and words of encouragement, as I don't want to sink back into my old habits, which crippled me mentally, physically, and socially. The thought of using burns deeper in my mind each day though, and I'm afraid that I'll sink back into the same old nightmare. Before anyone inevitably asks, I have a normal social life and friends, and date a variety of girls regularly (perhaps too many). Just thought maybe someone out there could understand what I'm going through and have been for the past several years.

I've also considered street drugs and different (you can guess here) ROA's because I don't have the income I used to from my let's say...less than honorable occupation. Any encouragement and advice would be much appreciated.

Ps. Feels weird being a greenlighter again.

 

[callmek]

Hang in there buddy. I feel your pain as im in a similar situation.think about where that path leads you. Don't do something that in 6 months your going to lookback and say why the fuck did I start Down this road again. Remember the pain is only tucked away when your high. Still there but buried deep within. Opiates will only bring you down and make you more depressed in the long Run. Keep that in mind. My thoughts are with you. Stay strong.

 

[herbavore]

Maybe you can look at it this way: you are being given an opportunity to develop non-drug strategies that will come in to play over and over again when life throws you down--whether it is losing someone you love, losing a good job, a death, whatever it is that shakes you to the core. Those things will never stop happening. They are as much a part of living as all the wonderful times. Each time you are faced with something that makes you feel bad about yourself is an opportunity to get rid of old habits, try new strategies and practice developing faith in yourself. I don't say any of this lightly--it is hard, but it is crucial to breaking the need-to-numb mentality.

I hope that you can break free from the cycle early in the game and things start to look better. They are going to look much better if you don't go down the same bleak road again, as tempting as that may feel.