Hi all,
Firstly, I wish everyone here the best in their recovery! I'm not selfish and will happily help wherever possible! This my first time being active on a recovery forum. I read but don't post.
The post is about the long-term effects of suboxone has had on me. Plus, desperately wanting to get off it. The suboxforum will kick you off if you raise this and push it as owner runs a sub clinic. clicky
I will try to keep this short and to the point, it's not a debate about the use of suboxone. I would love to hear if others feel the same as me, have recovered and finally some good advice, guidance. I've put my main question at the start and my background on how I got here after (It turned into an essay, accept my apologies and I'm fully aware you all likely have or have had your own issue's)
I've been on 8mg of bupe for 2 years (started on 16mg) and I'm just coasting along day by day, depressed, emotionally numb, bad anxiety, low self-esteem. Nothing is fun anymore. I've tried self-medicating again with all sorts to get rid of my black dog Inc. Counselling, exercise. After much research and knowing my own mind I'm convinced the bupe is blocking my feel good, emotional sensors. I used to love reading, going out, sports, all sorts. I don't even feel the buzz I used to get from 2 pints.
Now I'm completely flat. Emotionally. Bupe and methadone do save lives I know! But being on them long term? wellbeing, state of mind. As a short-term reduction plan yes. long term in my opinion a big no no. I've experienced suboxone withdrawals as I tried to cut down to quick and they are as bad or if not not worse than other opiates. I also done something very silly. I had some "Naltrexone" tablets from years back. Recommended by a friend to stop alcohol urges.
I fancied a beer so took a 100mg tablet. I was on my own in my house. Sent me into precipitated withdrawal. I cannot even begin to describe. Sheer agony, my body felt like it had been thrown into a fire. I was crying, screaming. too horrific to explain. If I had a gun and could have used it I swear I would have pulled the trigger. My wife found me 4 hours in and I was in A&E/hospital for 24 hrs. In the morning, no sedatives given, the bupe was stripped from my brain after 2 years. The pain had subsided and I was an emotional wreck. I was in a ward with dying old men, there?s me taking up a bed, my family hurt. When my wife came to pick me up I sobbed like a baby. First time in many years. My emotions were most certainly back. I was sick, ill, still hurt but my head was clearer. Hard to explain.
DO NOT DO THIS PLEASE. Mine was a genuine foolish mistake.
I wanted to stay off the bupe and suffer it out as I?d done something that is usually done my medical experts and your put into an induced coma and supervised. Costs about ?5k.
I went back on bupe as I was told too (which I now regret) and benzo's and in 2 days I was starting to recover.
I want off bupe so badly and have been researching micro dosing lsd, using Iboga. I'm playing with fire again and not sure what to do. I am cutting down and will continue to do so but I hear that last mg is a real b**** to come off.
Any advice, experiences would be greatly appreciated. Good luck all and thanks for taking the time to read.
Thank you
Firstly, I wish everyone here the best in their recovery! I'm not selfish and will happily help wherever possible! This my first time being active on a recovery forum. I read but don't post.
The post is about the long-term effects of suboxone has had on me. Plus, desperately wanting to get off it. The suboxforum will kick you off if you raise this and push it as owner runs a sub clinic. clicky
I will try to keep this short and to the point, it's not a debate about the use of suboxone. I would love to hear if others feel the same as me, have recovered and finally some good advice, guidance. I've put my main question at the start and my background on how I got here after (It turned into an essay, accept my apologies and I'm fully aware you all likely have or have had your own issue's)
I've been on 8mg of bupe for 2 years (started on 16mg) and I'm just coasting along day by day, depressed, emotionally numb, bad anxiety, low self-esteem. Nothing is fun anymore. I've tried self-medicating again with all sorts to get rid of my black dog Inc. Counselling, exercise. After much research and knowing my own mind I'm convinced the bupe is blocking my feel good, emotional sensors. I used to love reading, going out, sports, all sorts. I don't even feel the buzz I used to get from 2 pints.
Now I'm completely flat. Emotionally. Bupe and methadone do save lives I know! But being on them long term? wellbeing, state of mind. As a short-term reduction plan yes. long term in my opinion a big no no. I've experienced suboxone withdrawals as I tried to cut down to quick and they are as bad or if not not worse than other opiates. I also done something very silly. I had some "Naltrexone" tablets from years back. Recommended by a friend to stop alcohol urges.
I fancied a beer so took a 100mg tablet. I was on my own in my house. Sent me into precipitated withdrawal. I cannot even begin to describe. Sheer agony, my body felt like it had been thrown into a fire. I was crying, screaming. too horrific to explain. If I had a gun and could have used it I swear I would have pulled the trigger. My wife found me 4 hours in and I was in A&E/hospital for 24 hrs. In the morning, no sedatives given, the bupe was stripped from my brain after 2 years. The pain had subsided and I was an emotional wreck. I was in a ward with dying old men, there?s me taking up a bed, my family hurt. When my wife came to pick me up I sobbed like a baby. First time in many years. My emotions were most certainly back. I was sick, ill, still hurt but my head was clearer. Hard to explain.
DO NOT DO THIS PLEASE. Mine was a genuine foolish mistake.
I wanted to stay off the bupe and suffer it out as I?d done something that is usually done my medical experts and your put into an induced coma and supervised. Costs about ?5k.
I went back on bupe as I was told too (which I now regret) and benzo's and in 2 days I was starting to recover.
I want off bupe so badly and have been researching micro dosing lsd, using Iboga. I'm playing with fire again and not sure what to do. I am cutting down and will continue to do so but I hear that last mg is a real b**** to come off.
Any advice, experiences would be greatly appreciated. Good luck all and thanks for taking the time to read.
Thank you