Lastly, I'm having trouble kinda accepting the facts.. like I know I'm a drug addict and have had addiction problems all my life but I'm only 20 years old and am on suboxone I'm one of the youngest guys at the clinic if not the youngest and when I see the people there I just feel like a piece of shit.. I see these people who are not to be rude pretty fucked up and I have to mission to a piece of shit area in Toronto to see the doc and a piece of shit area to pick up my dose and feel like the people I see at the clinic are just wack.. I'm not trying to be rude and I have chilled with addicts my entire life but like it just fucks with me that I'm going to a clinic everyday and I'm only 20 and I see people there who are 50 + years old been on methadone/subs for a LONGGG time and just pray I don't end up like that.. I hope this didn't offend anyone but does anyone else feel like going to the doc and the clinic is a kinda depressing?
I just wanted to add a little reassurance to your concern, and a few other hopefully helpful bits of info about suboxone.
I met a lot of people in my travels - rehab, outpatient, n,a etc... I was also 20 when i went to an inpatient facility. I too was one of the youngest people there, surrounded by men and women in there 30's, 40's 50's and up who had been fighting addiction all their lives, in and out of rehabs 8 or 9 times. Look at it like this, you are much smarter than any of those people at the clinic because your doing something about it now, rather than self destruct for 25 some odd years and then try to get help when your 45. Those people, and I'm talking from experience in ones I've known have a lifetime of problems and issues because of the long pattern of addiction. It goes without saying that kicking the habit now, gives you much more of a chance to succeed, and much more time to live a better life. I'm proof to this, as I'm 26 now, graduated from college with a B.A in history (even though it took 6 years), and am not a slave to opiates. I got my problems like everyone else, but they're a whole lot less significant now that I don't have to beg borrow and steal 120+ dollars and truck it to the city every day to cop a bundle.
And on another note, I dont know if i missed it in one of your posts, but does your clinic have guidelines as to how long you are required to stay on the maintenance dose? Because I have heard stories of some clinics having patients sign contracts giving up full treatment consent to the clinic docs. By doing this, they were unable to get their dosage reduced, and ended up on a long long term maintenance dose (this was for methadone). I heard stories of people trapped in the methadone system for 30 years because of this.
For me, this would be a concern as I like to have some involvement in my treatment rather than being forced to follow their regimen. Its scarry to think, that you could get forced in to a maintenance plan for years and years. I had a buddy who enrolled in a methadone clinic and that was the case with him. His doc, after finding a proper "maintenance" dose refused to differentiate from that plan as he was under some sort of contract. (I think it's something to do with the fact that the clinic is government money so in order to get free or cheap treatment your required to agree to certain terms)
With Suboxone, in my experience and that of some others I know, you can essentially stay on it for as long as you feel comfortable, with discussion about it with the doc of course. But ultimately it should be your decision if you feel ready to be without its help. The main idea is that when you eventually stop the suboxone you should be at a point that the addiction/cravings are no longer a major part of your daily life, you've moved on so to speak. This might take 6 months or years, its all how you feel about it. We'll always be addicts, theres no cure, but after 2 years of using the suboxone I had no desire to go revert to my old ways and maintained a clean lifestyle for several years (Untill I had a major shoulder operation a few years later and had a little bout with pain killers).
In any event I am a huge supported of suboxone, so long as its taken as it should be, rather than a safety net for not withdrawing whenever you cant pick up. Its much safer than methadone, which is an extremely strong drug, and is much harder to get off of. Its half life is extremely long and over time will build up in your system making the withdraw multiple times worse than anything else from what methadone users have told me. Suboxone on the other hand is quite different; A partial-antagonist opioid comprised of Buprenorphine & Naloxone. Buprenorphine being a low - impact opioid based drug which eliminates withdrawal symptoms and greatly reduces the urge to get high. (My theory is that it tricks your body/brain in to thinking you have taken pills or dope as it binds to the the opioid receptors, however it does not activate or stimulate the receptors enough to produce a high) Naloxone blocks other opiates from having an effect, and is somewhat of a deterring mechanism for abuse as if one were to inject suboxone the nalexone would try to block the buprenoprhine causing withdrawal.(correct me if I'm off on that explanation)
So anyway good luck and take it slow. If its somethin you want to do, its gana work for you. I know ppl that went on subs and right back to their drug of choice b/c they weren't ready to quit. On the other hand I know ppl, including me, who were sick and tired of the run around and ready to make a change, where suboxone was a god-send
