I'm sure this topic has been discussed and beat to hell but I'm desperate for other users to weigh in here because there isn't exactly a guide for how to go about doing this without suffering short of moving to Canada tonight and doing a monitored Bernese method Induction with a true "bridge" drug which is unfortunately illegal here in america and therefor not feasible as a solution.
For starters, I have been on subs consistently for about 2 years now. I've been maintained fine on the dose I'm at, fairly steady 8mg a day, but I often drop my dose to try to taper off myself bc I hate being on meds that don't get me high. I'm at least that honest with myself. The fact that the subs don't get me high just makes me wanna get more high If it doesn't fuck me up, I don't see the point in taking that pill or snorting that line. I want to want to be sober, but the reality is I'm human and sometimes I fuck up. I actively choose to relapse. I don't want to choose to do so but sometimes there's only that one thing that's gonna make what you're feeling stop and you know the feeling I'm referring to. Not glorifying, just saying. Yall know what I'm talking about....
This of course inevitably leads to relapses, especially given I posed high risk as it is with a consistent history of relapse and failed maintenance. It's not that I want to go back to that life every day, I just forget how bad it can be being on subs and I end up missing the high because after a while the subs just don't do it for me.
I would drop my sub dose to like 2mg over a few days, take none the day before I was gonna pickup, then id go cop, use for a couple days tops, and I'd switch back with no issue as soon as i got the sweats the morning after my last dose. I have done this MANY TIMES without issue.
Recently I moved and eventually got a new plug who's been giving me the infamous "purple dope" that is EXTREMELY potent. I also had this experience with some very strong "gunpowder" I got from someone else in the area. The last 2 times I've gone on short runs, has been with these 2 batches specifically, however my old plugs shit was straight fent and never caused the following side effects when returning to subs. Withdrawal comes on very quickly and intensely. By the 24 hour mark I'm basically crawling out of my skin; Quickly scoring a COWS score of ≈ 10 or greater, I wait roughly 12-24 hours or until withdrawal symptoms seem severe enough and when I tale my usual dose of 8 MG to transition back, I suddenly experienced withdrawals so severe I can only compare it to when I was on 125mg methadone daily and accidentally ingested 100mg of naltrexone oral tablets instead of 30mg mirtazipine as intended (long story). This happened with less severity the next time I went on a run and went back to the subs but I changed my induction and the run was much shorter because that experience made me horrified of PRECIPITATED WITHDRAWALS.
This time I waited until I was sweating and somehow freezing in an 85° bedroom and about to start spewing from both ends. I took 2mg. Felt a Little better after an hour so I took another 2mg. Sweats and cramps came back for a couple hours but nothing like my previous attempt to induct myself back on the subs and as i said, 1st dose of 2mg worked as well as can be expected but i was still not well. I managed to wait til later that day and take another 4mg, at which point I finally started to even out enough to get some much needed sleep with the assist of high doses of klonopin flexeril, and ambien ER.
I can take 100mg of oxy with hardly any noticeable effect. Tolerance is clearly an issue here but its gotta be deeper because Bupe has an insanely high binding affinity and has never failed me before no matter how hard of a run I went on, and I've been using for the last 10 years all.over the west coast but mainly Florida One key bump of the shit from the plug will have me on the floor for 3 hours. I'm assuming this new issue is due to the recent discovery of the lipophilloc effects of fentanyl and its many analogues and their street variations having vastly different elimination times, which has no doubt made timing your dose of sub a complete guessing game and completely takes away the benefit of easing you through withdrawal.
As early as 5 years ago people had to switch back to dope to get off sub/done and that was actually a common method discussed here for getting OFF bupe.
What the FUCK is going on? The only thing I can think of doing is somehow getting an emergency induction at a methadone clinic, but they never want to take patients without making them wait WAY too long given the mortality rate of illicit opioid use and I hate the weight gain I experienced with methadone. I'm currently trying to "wash out" any traces of the fent from my last run with am emergency stash of legit oxy but 40 mg is basically the equivalent a 0.5mg piece of sub for about 3 hours and while the oxy isn't getting me "high" by any means, I assume it will also require an abstinence period to avoid PW.
So where do I go from here? I'm HORRIFIED to even fall asleep at this point because I know how ill feel first thing in the morning and I know I'll instinctively be dying to take a sub but that early induction sure as shit has me hesitant to ever touch the bupe again... it's not even working for my cravings anymore even at 16 mg so maybe switching back to methadone is a must?
I don't wanna be a lifer.... I just don't wanna feel like this anymore and don't know what to do..
For starters, I have been on subs consistently for about 2 years now. I've been maintained fine on the dose I'm at, fairly steady 8mg a day, but I often drop my dose to try to taper off myself bc I hate being on meds that don't get me high. I'm at least that honest with myself. The fact that the subs don't get me high just makes me wanna get more high If it doesn't fuck me up, I don't see the point in taking that pill or snorting that line. I want to want to be sober, but the reality is I'm human and sometimes I fuck up. I actively choose to relapse. I don't want to choose to do so but sometimes there's only that one thing that's gonna make what you're feeling stop and you know the feeling I'm referring to. Not glorifying, just saying. Yall know what I'm talking about....
This of course inevitably leads to relapses, especially given I posed high risk as it is with a consistent history of relapse and failed maintenance. It's not that I want to go back to that life every day, I just forget how bad it can be being on subs and I end up missing the high because after a while the subs just don't do it for me.
I would drop my sub dose to like 2mg over a few days, take none the day before I was gonna pickup, then id go cop, use for a couple days tops, and I'd switch back with no issue as soon as i got the sweats the morning after my last dose. I have done this MANY TIMES without issue.
Recently I moved and eventually got a new plug who's been giving me the infamous "purple dope" that is EXTREMELY potent. I also had this experience with some very strong "gunpowder" I got from someone else in the area. The last 2 times I've gone on short runs, has been with these 2 batches specifically, however my old plugs shit was straight fent and never caused the following side effects when returning to subs. Withdrawal comes on very quickly and intensely. By the 24 hour mark I'm basically crawling out of my skin; Quickly scoring a COWS score of ≈ 10 or greater, I wait roughly 12-24 hours or until withdrawal symptoms seem severe enough and when I tale my usual dose of 8 MG to transition back, I suddenly experienced withdrawals so severe I can only compare it to when I was on 125mg methadone daily and accidentally ingested 100mg of naltrexone oral tablets instead of 30mg mirtazipine as intended (long story). This happened with less severity the next time I went on a run and went back to the subs but I changed my induction and the run was much shorter because that experience made me horrified of PRECIPITATED WITHDRAWALS.
This time I waited until I was sweating and somehow freezing in an 85° bedroom and about to start spewing from both ends. I took 2mg. Felt a Little better after an hour so I took another 2mg. Sweats and cramps came back for a couple hours but nothing like my previous attempt to induct myself back on the subs and as i said, 1st dose of 2mg worked as well as can be expected but i was still not well. I managed to wait til later that day and take another 4mg, at which point I finally started to even out enough to get some much needed sleep with the assist of high doses of klonopin flexeril, and ambien ER.
I can take 100mg of oxy with hardly any noticeable effect. Tolerance is clearly an issue here but its gotta be deeper because Bupe has an insanely high binding affinity and has never failed me before no matter how hard of a run I went on, and I've been using for the last 10 years all.over the west coast but mainly Florida One key bump of the shit from the plug will have me on the floor for 3 hours. I'm assuming this new issue is due to the recent discovery of the lipophilloc effects of fentanyl and its many analogues and their street variations having vastly different elimination times, which has no doubt made timing your dose of sub a complete guessing game and completely takes away the benefit of easing you through withdrawal.
As early as 5 years ago people had to switch back to dope to get off sub/done and that was actually a common method discussed here for getting OFF bupe.
What the FUCK is going on? The only thing I can think of doing is somehow getting an emergency induction at a methadone clinic, but they never want to take patients without making them wait WAY too long given the mortality rate of illicit opioid use and I hate the weight gain I experienced with methadone. I'm currently trying to "wash out" any traces of the fent from my last run with am emergency stash of legit oxy but 40 mg is basically the equivalent a 0.5mg piece of sub for about 3 hours and while the oxy isn't getting me "high" by any means, I assume it will also require an abstinence period to avoid PW.
So where do I go from here? I'm HORRIFIED to even fall asleep at this point because I know how ill feel first thing in the morning and I know I'll instinctively be dying to take a sub but that early induction sure as shit has me hesitant to ever touch the bupe again... it's not even working for my cravings anymore even at 16 mg so maybe switching back to methadone is a must?
I don't wanna be a lifer.... I just don't wanna feel like this anymore and don't know what to do..