stupid halloween

so i went to a sex party on halloween with my bestest friend who i also am hopelessly into, and he's not into me. i've gone with him once before and oddly enough it ended up being fine. we hooked up with another guy friend of mine. anyways this time i was dressed as Wednesday Addams, and the wig started giving me a headache from the moment i put it on. then when i got to the party i drank some special water, and he was already there and sitting on the patio trying to have stupid conversations with chicks trying to make something happen. so i sat with him for a bit, then i got really cold and then the g kicked in and i was pretty much passing out. he thought i was just trying to get attention and was really mean to me. i was standing there holding on to my head, feeling dizzy, finally i sat up and started dozing off, and he said i should get up and be social. fuck that bullshit. so i ended up giving him the rest of my money so he can get home, and getting a ride from a friend. i felt like shit when i got home. i texted him the next day, and ask what the hell is up, are we not friends anymore? i had to pretty much make him apologize. pretty sure he wasn't really being sincere. i hate him and i love him. and he's my closest friend. and i don't feel like there's any hope for me at this time. i am sick and tired of trying to meet new people because nobody is anywhere as good as him. what did i do to deserve this? i know i am not a good person, i have ulterior motives. and i feel like it's too late for me to change myself.

i am just really really sad right now. i am so sick and tired of my stupid life. sick of living pay check to pay check. i am tempted to quit my job and just give up. fuck it all to hell.

 

^ he probably feels a bit guilty, and so is being a jerk...not an excuse, but not your problem atm either...

sounds like you really want to find a big change, and to make yourself to feel good, but, youre frustrated and depressed, losing energy trying in the same old sure-fire routes haha, sure that is some of the most fun to have, but one gets burnt out with most anything, especially with hotter fire...


idk

how long have you had this job? maybe you should quit! start looking for another...

 

Cosey Fanni Tuttey, made a massive impact on my life..lol..she is in thew biz' big time and i had no idea.! fascinating.

just saying she is an extremely positive force, and some one to look for, for all sorts of inspiration, high-higH Art from her and Chris...


here is one of their songs...so damn amazing.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XDTXpk8-YSQ
yeaaaaah!!!

^alchemical masters - they leave you high and never dry

 

we made up, of course. he texted me on monday night and apologized, and said he was hungry. appealed to my nurturing side. so i fed him and stuff. did i even get laid out of this? of course not. at this point, do i really even care? a little bit, still.

 

...
hes too lucky, lucky people never learn.


that is all from me
;-)

 

if your going to do it just do it....or STF

 

if i'm going to do what? quit my job? i have tried several times. in the past they wouldn't let me go. that's how i was allowed to telecommute, because i said i quit because of the commute and they said no.

or what? fuck my friend? i hope so. it's my drug. and the withdrawal is really fucking bad. and it's not about fucking tons of others, i've tried that. nobody comes close.

kill myself? i have tried that too. currently looking into kinds of knots you can tie so that it doesn't hurt...

if your going to do it just do it....or STF

 

Killing yourself isn't the answer.
Life has a lot to offer, things may seem bad now, but things change so quickly
If you are seriously considering hurting yourself (and it sounds it, if you are thinking of how) I really would like to encourage you to seek medical attn. asap.

 

wow, why didn't i think of that...

sorry, i am sure you mean well.

Killing yourself isn't the answer.
Life has a lot to offer, things may seem bad now, but things change so quickly
If you are seriously considering hurting yourself (and it sounds it, if you are thinking of how) I really would like to encourage you to seek medical attn. asap.

 

We've had a few suicides on the site, as well as non-suicide deaths of late, so we're a bit hyper-sensitive to such things. No harm was meant. And to be fair, that was an option that you mentioned.

Just to let everyone know, the comments in this post are now being watched very closely by the moderation team, and any further inflammatory comments will be dealt with. I'm sorry that your thread was thus polluted MissMiss.