Sad Stuck on thinking about my previous mistakes

[Survival0200]

I've noticed than in my daily life, I constantly think about all the mistakes I've done in the past. This happens many times a day. I really can't do anything about these mistakes anymore, but they often fill my mind. I would like to look forward in life, but it seems like these past things are constantly irritating me. These thoughts that I can't get rid off. Is there a diagnosis for something like this? What's wrong with me? Depression? Have you had similar issues? What helped?

 

[jasperkent]

Have you had similar issues? What helped?

This has bothered me for my entire life, even though I'm fully aware that regret & shame are counterproductive emotions when we cling to them for too long

One realization has helped me a lot recently. The "self," if it is a real thing at all, is not a fixed entity. It's always changing, learning, evolving. I am literally a different person than I was a day ago. This is a biological fact.

So when I look back on my mistakes I try to have some compassion for that troubled, confused person-- a person that, thankfully, is not me.

 

[AlphaMethylPhenyl]

I think that's a rut that a lot of people, mental illness or not, find themselves in at some point. People can be depressed without it being a clinical diagnosis, depending on how contingent it is on life events, i think. That said, I think it's important to have at least one person to be able to confide all of this to, in detail, a therapist or not.

Try focusing more on the present. The past is water under the bridge, gone.

Something I like to tell myself when I'm upset at night over how the day went is that tomorrow, this day will be over with permanently, and that in not too long of a time it won't even really matter.

I can empathize with your struggle, it is also similar to mine at times. What helps for me is staying busy, socializing, doing fun things that aren't detrimental to health, and making society a better place. Maybe writing down what your goals are, short moderate and long, and then finding out how to achieve them, because they are achievable!

 

[Deleted member 576750]

I've noticed than in my daily life, I constantly think about all the mistakes I've done in the past. This happens many times a day. I really can't do anything about these mistakes anymore, but they often fill my mind. I would like to look forward in life, but it seems like these past things are constantly irritating me. These thoughts that I can't get rid off. Is there a diagnosis for something like this? What's wrong with me? Depression? Have you had similar issues? What helped?

An important part of recovery with mental health and addiction is the ability to forgive ourselves in order to move on

Its okay to make mistakes, we all make them and that's okay. Not all of us had good guidance growing up either, we've had to figure things out on our own and that results in more mistakes. That's okay, but being better than we were yesterday or a week ago or a year ago should be the goal. As long as we learn from our mistakes, forgive ourselves, and accept that its okay to have bad days sometimes because everyone does

 

[jasperkent]

If I'm stuck in the past, I become depressed.
If I'm stuck in the future, I become anxious.
If I focus on today, I can have clarity and experience serenity.

I may not be the person I want to be, but I'm overwhelmingly grateful that I'm not the person I used to be.

 

[M1sterEd]

Until you learn to live in the present, the past will always be present. Try meditating, let each moment come and go. As each moment enters your mind, experience its fullness and let it go naturally like a cool breeze passing through your mind. Appreciate the moment that is all that matters.

 

[KurtAurelius]

I struggled with this for a long time, and I find myself still now getting frustrated by reacting to similar situations the same.

Even if I have trained myself to detach from the thoughts and the accompanying feelings and trajectory I go (always negative)

Some sayings I use as mantras which help me

“The past is only a lesson, to help us be our best today”

“It’s happened, it’s done, it’s been, its gone”

Rumination is a cunt, it’s important to not ignore your feelings and repress them, but I either channel them, using the feeling like energy, or I observe and watch it pass.

The more mindfulness I’ve done, the more I observe how much thoughts and patterns are merely just fed through our mind, (atleast for me)

These painful feelings and memories can dissipate like wisps of smoke.

 

[M1sterEd]

For some reason it was easy for me to live in the present, not really it just seems that way. The 3 times I had full blown psychosis I experimented with different ways of thinking. My mind and memories were erased so I didn't have anything to lose. Piece by piece I reconstructed my thought patterns to what suited my needs. I tried thinking alternatively from the norm and this gave me several perspective ways of thinking. The experience broadened my perception by merging the ordinary with the obscure and voila I stumbled across to living in the present. nowadays it's the only way I know and understand the world.

I said it was easy but when you lose your mind you lose everything. I was like a newborn, I had to learn everything over again by modeling friends and family members. It wasn't easy by any means but you do what you do to survive. You don't think "oh gawd this is hard...you just get through shit the best you can.

Today, I'm just crazy smart from years of life experience. Experience is by far the best teacher..

 

[Vanilla_Incense]

Making mistakes isn't anything you should worry about on a daily basis.

I completely understand where you're coming from, I've felt the same way in the past. I can't vouch for your experience but in my experience when I've messed up and made mistakes the people around me have been forgiving and as long as I'm honest in my attempt to not make the same mistake over and over again (and don't make the same mistake again), bygones are bygones. Life in of it self is a learning experience and no one is perfect.

If you've really screwed the pooch in the past you will have to make a lot of effort to gain peoples faith again but it is possible.

As a really good example I'll abridge a testimony I heard a few months back from a guy who used to do a lot of heroin and was making a killing off of selling it to others. He had apparently gotten to the point in his addiction where he couldn't take it anymore and decided to do a "hot shot" in some random ass bathroom but ended up getting revived by some good samaritans. That experience made him decide to turn his life around and now runs an organisation that helps people with addiction get off the street. This is a pretty shortened version of his story but the point is he's now respected by many people and no one holds him to his past because he's made a very intentional effort to make a very positive change in the world.

 

[M1sterEd]

Making mistakes isn't anything you should worry about on a daily basis.

I completely understand where you're coming from, I've felt the same way in the past. I can't vouch for your experience but in my experience when I've messed up and made mistakes the people around me have been forgiving and as long as I'm honest in my attempt to not make the same mistake over and over again (and don't make the same mistake again), bygones are bygones. Life in of it self is a learning experience and no one is perfect.

If you've really screwed the pooch in the past you will have to make a lot of effort to gain peoples faith again but it is possible.

As a really good example I'll abridge a testimony I heard a few months back from a guy who used to do a lot of heroin and was making a killing off of selling it to others. He had apparently gotten to the point in his addiction where he couldn't take it anymore and decided to do a "hot shot" in some random ass bathroom but ended up getting revived by some good samaritans. That experience made him decide to turn his life around and now runs an organisation that helps people with addiction get off the street. This is a pretty shortened version of his story but the point is he's now respected by many people and no one holds him to his past because he's made a very intentional effort to make a very positive change in the world.

You misunderstand I did not make mistakes I made experiences that made me who I am. No mistakes I chose my life with what I had to work with. I don't regret anything

 

[Vanilla_Incense]

I 100% agree with you @M1sterEd . However, I was giving advice to the op @Survival0200

 

[M1sterEd]

I 100% agree with you @M1sterEd . However, I was giving advice to the op @Survival0200

Sorry about that. I might add to OP as long as you harbor guilt and regret it will be difficult to move on in life. Forgive yourself and others if necessary and grow from the experience. Forgiveness means your debt is paid . It's ok to reminisce the past but if you let the affect your life then you need to let it go. You will still be here but you will be free.

 

[Vanilla_Incense]

No worry's. No need to say sorry

 

[RobustTuna]

I've noticed than in my daily life, I constantly think about all the mistakes I've done in the past. This happens many times a day. I really can't do anything about these mistakes anymore, but they often fill my mind. I would like to look forward in life, but it seems like these past things are constantly irritating me. These thoughts that I can't get rid off. Is there a diagnosis for something like this? What's wrong with me? Depression? Have you had similar issues? What helped?

Bro I've fucked up sooooo many oppodtunities over the years due to my drug use/drug seeking. For years I beat myself up thinking about the past and all those missed opportunities. It took months of 12-step work and group therapy for me to finally move past all of it - it's in the past, there is nothing I can about it now. Things happen for a reason I wouldn't be where I'm at today had that all not happened. DM if you want to chat more.

 

[SeekingOblivion]

I struggle with this a lot too. But try to consider these worries within the context of our finitude here on earth. Very little of it matters in big picture. If you can be kinder, more loving to your fellow man, then do it going forward. But the past is indeed the past. Sorry to Faulkner who disagreed.