Hi everyone
this is something I find hard to describe, so bear with me please.
I've tried my amount of drugs during the past years, being MDMA, weed, synthetic weed, coke, 2cb, MDA. Now I basically quit, no great reason behind this, it just kind of happened on its own, but here what I experience. Actually, I don't even know if it's a side effect of drugs use, hence why I'm writing here, I'm genuinelly curious.
It's like, my perception of time is a bit fucked up. You know how you usually grow up and have a clear perception of the past, like how long has been since the last week, the feelings you had there, the events, and then there is what you are experiencing in the present, not only as in the current day but generally in the present time, as general emotion, per say?
A lot of time for me it's a bit... different. As in, I have a clear and quiet strong perception of what I am feeling in the present, but it's like nothing else exists. It's kind of... I know I have a past, of course I do, and I know it, what happened, all the events and such (although if I don't pay attention everything it's blurred), but all my focus is only on the present feelings, and if per say I feel sad, that sadness feels sempiternal. It's not like: I've started feeling sad yesterday, but before that I was okay, nope, I feel like it's my general standard feeling and I can't get rid of it. But same for happiness and all the other feelings.
Then, if I really think about it, I can "remember" that hey! it's not like that? I've felt other things, and I felt them that day, that week... the realization comes as a little surprise though, and pretty much forces my whole perception of reality to a shift.
Agh, this is really hard to explain.
However, it's not like it's affecting hard my life, it's more a feeling/perception thing, I can live with it.
I am very curious to know if it may be due to substance use, because I am 100% sure it's quiet recent (let's say one year?) and that before that I defenitely wasn't experiencing life this way.
In fact, I'm pretty positive the change started after the experiences with synthetic weed and 2cb (I took by mistake a dose way too big with both of them and tripped pretty hard)
this is something I find hard to describe, so bear with me please.
I've tried my amount of drugs during the past years, being MDMA, weed, synthetic weed, coke, 2cb, MDA. Now I basically quit, no great reason behind this, it just kind of happened on its own, but here what I experience. Actually, I don't even know if it's a side effect of drugs use, hence why I'm writing here, I'm genuinelly curious.
It's like, my perception of time is a bit fucked up. You know how you usually grow up and have a clear perception of the past, like how long has been since the last week, the feelings you had there, the events, and then there is what you are experiencing in the present, not only as in the current day but generally in the present time, as general emotion, per say?
A lot of time for me it's a bit... different. As in, I have a clear and quiet strong perception of what I am feeling in the present, but it's like nothing else exists. It's kind of... I know I have a past, of course I do, and I know it, what happened, all the events and such (although if I don't pay attention everything it's blurred), but all my focus is only on the present feelings, and if per say I feel sad, that sadness feels sempiternal. It's not like: I've started feeling sad yesterday, but before that I was okay, nope, I feel like it's my general standard feeling and I can't get rid of it. But same for happiness and all the other feelings.
Then, if I really think about it, I can "remember" that hey! it's not like that? I've felt other things, and I felt them that day, that week... the realization comes as a little surprise though, and pretty much forces my whole perception of reality to a shift.
Agh, this is really hard to explain.
However, it's not like it's affecting hard my life, it's more a feeling/perception thing, I can live with it.
I am very curious to know if it may be due to substance use, because I am 100% sure it's quiet recent (let's say one year?) and that before that I defenitely wasn't experiencing life this way.
In fact, I'm pretty positive the change started after the experiences with synthetic weed and 2cb (I took by mistake a dose way too big with both of them and tripped pretty hard)
