Stuck in Co-Dependency!

[opiatekrzy]

I been with my fiance adriana for 5yrs now, when i met her she was only an occasional weed smoker and drinker, we fell in love fast (due to the fact she was new to NY, cuz she moved from houston to NY(my hometown) and knew nobody, and ME i just got out of prison after serving 4yrs, so i was vulnerable to be with a woman just like she wanted a man. before i knew it, she was using hard drugs with me, and now we have 2 baby boy's, which CPS is already involved and were on the verge of losing custody. it seems like my love for her is gone, yet i go out my way to be with her to feel not alone, and i wonder do i love her or not? she is always miserable, were always fighting. seems like were just filling eachothers void. im just too weak to end it cuz of the fear of being alone, and fact we have 2kids 2gether, im so ready to find another girl, yet i dont even know myself or got my life together, so should i hold off on seeing other girls? (i been talking to this one girl, i feel like im misleading her, and invited me to her apartment to hang out) we all know sex will happen, i feel like i just want sex out of this girl, and no interest in chemistry, then again IDK..im a big mess, which is why this post is a big mess, im sory if i make no sense, i just dont know what to do with myself, with my fiance, with leaving her, with going to this girls apartment, etc.......

 

[T. Calderone]

Do you two live together and can she make it by herself? I can't advocate staying together if you are having doubts and fighting, but this time with your kids it's something to consider. Even just until you can clear up the CPS case which would mean both of you getting clean.

You don't want to lose your baby boys man, focus on this before worrying about dating the other girl. I forgot to ask also: Do you have family around that can help you if need be with the kids? Better to let them get custody as opposed to complete strangers.

 

[Maliciousness]

Seems like you are in a toxic relationship. Staying together for the kids will not work. Kids aren't daft and they pick up on vibes very quickly.
You obviously have issues relating to insecurity. There is nothing wrong with being on your own. Perhaps it would be beneficial for you to have some time away from each other so that you can work out what you really want from life. You have to work on yourself and fix yourself before you jump into another relationship. Forget about this other girl for now and just concentrate on becoming a stronger person. For you and your kids. Good luck whatever you decide to do x

 

[opiatekrzy]

we dont live 2gether anymore, i see her a couple times a week, only to walk her to the methadone clinic downtown, her mother has custody until we get our shit together. however im so co-dependent on her i feel guilty even leaving the option open to meet this new girl i met. i was supposed to go to her apartment and hang out for the day, but my guilt of hanging out at a single girl's own apartment got to me, regardless how fucked up my toxic relationship is with my baby's mom Adriana. I really wish i can break down everything, but i have trouble typing on here sometimes..i live with my dad, she lives with her mom, totally just freeloading with no intentions on getting a job, or making huge strides to get our kids back herself. of course i wanna be single and focus on my kids, and leave her (as in this toxic relationshio) but just as messed u as i am, tend to get lonely and try to find another girl to fill that void, but when i have the chance to date/possibly get with another girl, my guilt overrides me and i get dramtically depressed and guilty consious

 

[Alikat]

You really do need to work on you before you can add someone else to the mix. I'm guilty of the same thing. I fell into a relationship during my 2year divorce. Waiting would have been better but when I met my Bf it was an instant connection. It has made things extra difficult tho and caused unnecessary problems.
Staying together for the kids is not healthy either. Please try and go to some meetings for co- dependency. They have them the same as NA and AA. Maybe some NA classes would help as well. You and your girl cld do NA together maybe and get some positive ground to stand on. Regardless of if you stay together you will always have children and building a foundation of friendship at least is not a ad idea.
Good luck man