stuck in a complete loop

[stuckinmyhead]

ive been on numerous medications for anywhere from severe clinical depression to ADHD and im currently on 40mg methylphenidate everyday, and it doesnt get rid of any of the depression or horrible feelings or thoughts that ill get randomly and sometimes constantly throughout the day, i was addicted to hydrocodone for about 2 years, done cocaine numerous times, drank myself dumb, and felt like i was on top of the world, but i feel like because of those things, my mind just wont work right, and never will, it is impossible for me to hold any type of job, because of the pure fact that im unstable, im not asking for any specific answer, im just hoping someone or anyone could offer any advice or knowledge to help me get out of this hole ive been in for years and years and is ultimately going to destroy my life, there is no fun for me anymore, no happy at all, everything is just.. well gloom.

 

[Maya]

Hi stuckinmyhead, welcome to Bluelight, I am so sorry for what you are going through right now and I can't imagine how hard it must be to be experiencing what you are experiencing at the moment, but I have always believed that if a person really strives hard to better his/her life and get out of the hole you will overcome it. Have you spoken to a therapist or have gone through CBT? Maybe you should give this one a try? Maybe you can also go to the doctor again and see if you can try some other type of medication? I hope everything works out for you OP.

 

[crOOk]

Just focus on whatever's left to enjoy other than drugs. If that doesn't work, ride it out. It's only a few decades anyway.