Stuck between Drug Life and Nerd Life

[mindshot]

Hi. I am about to be 18 years old. I am attending a very prestigious private college next year to major in chemical engineering. i have a love for music, and a passion for life. I like to open my mind to new things and i am a very deep thinker. The problem i am having is that I am worried my drug use will effect my mental capability to learn and retain information in college. I do not want my studies to be negatively affected.
My drug of choice would be the fantastic magic mushrooms I love them because of how deeply they allow me to think and also the psychedelic trips i have. I tried ecstacy the same week i tried mushrooms last year around this time and it was fantastic. i did not take another pill until i attended TAO for New Years where i took four pills. I continued taking pills as i got more and more into the rave scene. I dont do them much but i have a high tolerance and take about four in one night. these "thizz" pills did not do much to satisfy me they were shitty and nasty. I got my REAL ROLL last week when I took molly and some pink playboy drank a ton, added a little mushrooms and weed. this feeling was beyond good. it was pure ecstacy. when i came down i felt it was dangerous to feel that good. I find myself craving that feeling now. I dont know what to do. I am in love with the rave scene and want to just have fun in life. I only rave once or twice a month during the school year. but now that its summer im free to do whatever.. HELP ME.
I've always been the smart kid in school and took four AP classes.. I passed calculus AB and AP physics and AP Chemistry with As in all..
I dont want to impair my brain, but i love this lifestyle of having fun and being free. If i do this in moderation will these drugs eventually take a toll on my body? I am a drinker, a moderate pot smoker, enjoy pain killers like vicodin and perkiset, shroom lover, raver, and am looking to try acid soon...
Should I completely stop ecstacy ?? i wonder if there are any other people like me who are NERDS on the inside but love to party !

 

[Zenethylamine]

I am also enamored with both drugs and nerd-ery. I have, fortunately, managed to combine the two worlds to some extent.

As for your college plans. Occasional use of MDMA and ecstasy is possible to reconcile with a serious academic life. Rolling at a rave once every month or two will not necessarily deter you from being a good student, but it might. It depends on your own personality and neurology.

Rolling more frequently is probably not a good idea. It is very easy to lose control of one's drug use in a college environment. I don't know if you've been living with your parents up until now, but the first two years of college were tough for me because I had problems curtailing my drug use. Chronic use of MDMA will almost definitely fuck you up from an academic standpoint.

However often you decide to roll, keep a close eye on your behaviors and mental state. If you find yourself slipping academically, try cutting down. See if you can substitute other activities you can enjoy instead of rolling or going to raves. You'll probably be fine if you're only doing it occasionally, but even occasional use can gradually wear you down. Just stay vigilant, and don't be afraid to change things up.

Also, don't forget to establish supportive relationships with other people. This isn't true of all drug users, but many of them hold drug use as their main hobby. Part of the reason that I have had trouble with overusing is due to the people I associated with. They were friendly, and even loving, but I eventually found myself falling into a world that was not good for me as a person. As a result, my grades began to suffer. It is definitely possible to use drugs and be a successful student, but I think that it requires the right sort of friends and support group.

And be careful with the vicodin and percocet! Opiate addiction is pretty rough.

Good luck!

 

[TheLostBoys]

Psychedelics can screw you up in the head if you over do it. I went to high school with some pretty smart people & ive seen them mess up their brains from dropping acid way too many times & mushrooms as well.

If you wanna enjoy psychedelics, you should do them a few times a year, especially while you are in college. Imo, you get more out of psychedelics doing them less. You should enjoy & cherish your psychedelic trips.

Getting good grades in college is important & you dont wanna burn your brain out over doing drugs while in college but on the other hand, drugs are a great escape while in college when you're studying too much & wanna just chill. Remember one thing, you only get to do this life thing "once", so try & do it as best as you can.

 

[hydroazuanacaine]

ok. i think i am going to move this to The Dark Side.

as a hippocrite, my advice to you would be stay away from real drugs (occasional pot and alcohol happens, but just do not forget they too are are far from benign). i say this because--even though nothing like a paralyzing car accident, losing my life savings, prison time, or something of that nature has happened to me because of my use--overall i think drugs have reduced the quality of my life.

a lot of other bluelighters will disagree with me, but i think this general exploration and "expierementing" thing is often thought of as less harmful and less dangerous than it really is. and there is always something new you want to try. it is not difficult for expierementing to become habitual use. shit, there is hardly a difference other than for how long it has been happening.

i also think you want a few more years if you are going to get into drugs. even though 18 is the magic number that people are suddenly "adults," physical maturity is in the early 20s for a large percent of the population. lots of kids get another inch, get defined jaw lines, etc. after 18. you wouldn't wanna stunt anything with drugs. too much.

well. life is weird. enjoy.

 

[ColdNorth]

Intelligent people can suffer a far worse fate than what psychedelics can do if they don't have another mechanism for coping with the pain that knowledge can bring. I'm not sure if that's a good way to put it but if you are a responsible user they can enhance your life as you've noticed already. I don't mean that they are a crutch, rather that they can help you make sense of the world. Beware that drugs can suck you in at any time though. There's a real difference between doing mind-altering drugs in a sort of ritualistic manner to improve yourself and being addicted. MDMA is somewhere in between psychedelics and risky drugs IMHO (even though it's maybe more of a stimulant). It can definitely do wonders for empathy, happiness, etc. but also has risks to consider. You can take steps reduce the toxicity, you could read up on that a bit if you haven't already.

I can't really say anything about how it fits with education but I imagine it would be a good idea to document your studies in detail so you can look at real evidence on how(/if) drug use has affected you. Evaluating that based on your subjective experience isn't reliable. You seem very aware of the temptation, that's good =)

 

[anterrabae]

Like others have said, moderation is key. You are starting a new period of life full of stress and newly opened doors and a new lack of discipline that used to come from your parents.

I think that most of the posters, if not all, have given you great advice. Psychedelics can be very refreshing and can change your perspective on life, give you input on how to better yourself.

But on the other hand, people with smarts such as yours can exhibit severe rebound effects on psychedelics, especially acid and the pseudo ones such as MDMA. People predisposed to problems, like schizophrenia and other disorders, can be revealed prematurely or introduced when it can be avoided altogether by avoiding the drug use.

So I would advise to keep the drug use at a minimum and keep your education your top priority. You know, maybe mushrooms every few months, I'd cool it on the MDMA for a while and as for the opiates, that's a whole other monster. Those kind of drugs, even though they're prescribed little pills and seem harmless, can be as dangerous and addictive as heroin.

Best of luck in your first year of university, I hope your grades remain excellent, and if any other questions or concerns, there are a lot of sweet, intelligent people on this site that can help you out more likely than not.

Good luck and peace.

P.S. Keep up the nerdiness, everyone loves the nerd culture and what they can accomplish whether they admit it or not!:D

 

[Dave]

Everyone has said what I would have said. Moderation is key, keep an eye out for addiction, focus on school first and drugs second (or, like, fifth).

You'd be surprised how many people in academia use. And not just stims/nootropics either-- the first ever pot plant that I saw belonged to a biomed engineering PhD student, my first 'cocoa puff' was from a geology PhD student, etc...

 

[mindshot]

Thanks for all of the posts guys. I've gotten some great insight and appreciate the help very much.. I feel like in a way all of you can relate somehow and give me great feedback. I think i should mention how much ecstasy i take at one time.. i also have a high tolerance for pills and take about four when im at a rave depending on what they are. molly suits me better. but i find myself wanting to stay away from ecstasy so extremely bad because i feel like it will make my mind suffer way more than mushrooms. I love to do mushrooms and when they are available i wil take them. sometimes i'll do them every weekend for a month. or not do them for four or five months straight..

Is xtc worse for ur brain than shrooms?

 

[Coolio]

Stay away from heavy MDMA/MDA/mephedrone/methylone/6APB use. Don't become a stoner. That stuff will take a toll on your memory.

Start taking nootropics and other nutritional supplements. Every college student should pour some aniracetam, L-Alpha Glycerylphosphorylcholine, resveratrol, bacopasides, sulbutiamine, and high-DHA omega-3 fish, krill, or algae oil in a shake or smoothie or something at least once a day.

I also am a drug nerd; you'll find that this is a large demographic amongst the young.

 

[mindshot]

Stay away from heavy MDMA/MDA/mephedrone/methylone/6APB use. Don't become a stoner. That stuff will take a toll on your memory.

Start taking nootropics and other nutritional supplements. Every college student should pour some aniracetam, L-Alpha Glycerylphosphorylcholine, resveratrol, bacopasides, sulbutiamine, and high-DHA omega-3 fish, krill, or algae oil in a shake or smoothie or something at least once a day.

I also am a drug nerd; you'll find that this is a large demographic amongst the young.

Wow thank you very much !!! yes.. i'm definately going to take ur advice on the nutritional supplements.. why havent i ever thought about that ?!?! will that help my brain?

 

[anterrabae]

^^ Yes, those supplements will most definitely improve your cognition. Just beware of interactions with other drugs and supplements. Most people think these herb things are harmless, not all of them are.

 

[veggies]

^^ Yes, those supplements will most definitely improve your cognition. Just beware of interactions with other drugs and supplements. Most people think these herb things are harmless, not all of them are.

This is good advice. On one hand there is some evidence that some of the above listed supplements may have a beneficial effect on xyz, but at the same time many of them do not have much literature at all supporting their long-term efficacy or safety, especially in healthy, young adults. That's not to say they should be avoided- I personally use various supplements (e.g., piracetam, sulbutiamine, etc.) on an on and off basis. But, make sure to be aware of interactions with other things, and don't go in with the (tempting) mindset of "the more frequently/higher dose I take, the better!" Make sure to be aware of the power of placebo .

As far as the original topic, I think a lot of good advice has been given here. If you have the aptitude/desire, you can excel in college (esp. undergrad) with a drug problem, and easily occasional drug use. No harm in the latter. But, be smart about your use, and just because your grades are not hurting does not mean that there are no underlying physical/cognitive/social/etc. problems occurring from (ab)use (not suggesting anything in your case, but just be aware for the future). Oddly enough, the one semester in undergrad that I had the lowest GPA was the one where I did not have a drug habit of some type .

 

[Dave]

One thing: moderate recreational use is one thing, but using meth as a 'study aid' is a terrible, terrible idea. IME, every person who tried to do this could not keep it from taking over, and not one of them finished their degrees. That's not a representative sample, but IMO the risk far outweighs the potential reward, especially when there are tons of alternatives. It's tempting-- I've been there-- but don't do it.

If you want a study aid, stick with nootropics. I found piracetam, ALCAR, r-ALA and moderate caffeine intake (not a nootropic-- I know) along with a reasonably healthy diet stood me in pretty good stead, but I never did that for longer than a semester at a stretch, and never in my last year. They aren't necessary by any means, but they can give you a bit of an edge.

 

[mindshot]

Thank you so much for all this advice.. i really appreciate it and i love reading your input and experiences. i hope to read more posts on this thread ! It gives me confidence that i can get through this

 

[ColdNorth]

I have to add, beware your own rationalizations. In hindsight I've realized having lied to myself on many occasions. Like knowing what I'm doing can hurt me but looking at the evidence through a bias. It's embarrassing to admit when all my life I've tried to avoid biased thinking, but I guess you can never know for sure yourself. The worst part is that if I really believe something myself, I can likely convince those around me. Here at BL that's impossible, wish I had realized that 10 years ago. =)

 

[suessmayr]

^ the above post is good. I don't personally feel that someone in your position can avoid the danger simply by being told to be careful. This is the whole point in drug addiction - we never see it coming. The fact that you're intelligent in my view makes this more serious - intelligence and drugs are a terrible combination! Intelligence imbues us with the lust you've described, and allows us to produce prodigously intricate rationalisations as to why we should take drugs. We bring to bear on the issue entire arsenals of rhetorical tools and become our own best deceivers.

So I really think that what you need at this stage is to realise that this is how it starts for everyone, and that despite your intelligence, you're no different. There are dozens of smart and successful bluelighters and addicts generally who began in this way.

In my opinion, psychedelics pose the greatest threat to your analytical mind. Things like ecstasy and opiates seem to fuck mainly with peoples' moods. But this is just as serious, as it is clearly impossible to study and think creatively if you're depressed.

You know as well as we do that no matter what we say, you're going to chase that feeling. The key thing is to stop when you can no longer just bounce back, i.e., when the comedowns become 4-7 day long affairs. When this happens, just stop!

 

[suessmayr]

Oh, and I forgot to add this: that, because of your age, any and all harm you suffer from your drug use will be much more severe than what a fully mature person would. Drugs are much, much much more dangerous in early life - because we don't yet know who we are, and our personalities are still in formation. So serious drug use very easily becomes a part of our development, and when it's stopped, we're left trying to pick up the pieces.

 

[Jakeperson]

general exploration and "expierementing" thing is often thought of as less harmful and less dangerous than it really is. and there is always something new you want to try. it is not difficult for expierementing to become habitual use. shit, there is hardly a difference other than for how long it has been happening.

QFT. This happened to me, I am 5 years into drug use this year and mostly now days I do new RCs so I keep trying new things and experimenting with new drugs. It's probably the only thing that has kept me from being a "Insert DoC here" addict is the fact that it would take away from my "experimenting."

You dont wanna spend the rest of your life experimenting

 

[mindshot]

^ the above post is good. I don't personally feel that someone in your position can avoid the danger simply by being told to be careful. This is the whole point in drug addiction - we never see it coming. The fact that you're intelligent in my view makes this more serious - intelligence and drugs are a terrible combination! Intelligence imbues us with the lust you've described, and allows us to produce prodigously intricate rationalisations as to why we should take drugs. We bring to bear on the issue entire arsenals of rhetorical tools and become our own best deceivers.

So I really think that what you need at this stage is to realise that this is how it starts for everyone, and that despite your intelligence, you're no different. There are dozens of smart and successful bluelighters and addicts generally who began in this way.

In my opinion, psychedelics pose the greatest threat to your analytical mind. Things like ecstasy and opiates seem to fuck mainly with peoples' moods. But this is just as serious, as it is clearly impossible to study and think creatively if you're depressed.

You know as well as we do that no matter what we say, you're going to chase that feeling. The key thing is to stop when you can no longer just bounce back, i.e., when the comedowns become 4-7 day long affairs. When this happens, just stop!

wow.. thank you.. this is so true. all these posts have rattled and sat in my mind.. makes me think very deeply about what im doing.

 

[mindshot]

QFT. This happened to me, I am 5 years into drug use this year and mostly now days I do new RCs so I keep trying new things and experimenting with new drugs. It's probably the only thing that has kept me from being a "Insert DoC here" addict is the fact that it would take away from my "experimenting."

You dont wanna spend the rest of your life experimenting

but what makes it so i dont want to experiment ? i love this because you explained something with a word everyone thinks is more acceptable and made truth out of it.. experimenting your whole life is no different from regular drug use