Struggling with my addictive personality

[Whitehuey]

I really don't know where to post this but I just need help and advice in the form of inbox or replies to the thread.. Basically I've been struggling with addiction since I was 16 (am now 21) but I've been doing good overall since the begining of this year but still find myself wanting and craving any drugs I know I can get my hands on.. My weakest moments are when I'm provided any type of upper and once I get even one line in me I go on a few day binge and then sleep it off.. I just need advice from people who are like me. If it's not there I won't try to get it but it always seems to find it's way back to me.. And it's not just uppers uppers just are my DOC. I'm weak to all substances.

 

[Bearlove]

moved from Homeless

 

[namnoc16]

I know you don't want to hear this but you might need some professional help whether its a counselor a 12 step program or what have you. You need to develop coping tools because the sad fact is this shit is everywhere and I can relate to them finding you.It seemed that everytime I'd kick people would come out of the wood work giving me free drugs while a month earlier when I was dead dope sick same people wouldn't piss on me if I were on fire. I think a lot of that is because not all but a lot of addicts can't stand seeing someone else getting their shit together. I also was a garbage head and did every drug under the sun(even huffed Freon once,yuck) . You are still young enough and have many years ahead of you that can be productive ones and don't have to be like many of mine that were wasted(that has dual meaning).As addicts there is a line we cross from recreational use to addiction and once you cross you can't ever go back.

 

[Whitehuey]

Oh yeah I completley understand and I agree I probably do need professional help.. I Had a couple year period where I was abusing aderrall way above even the highest doses prescribed.. I was probably taking 100 to 150 mg of it because I had a script of 60 30 mg coming in every month and one of my friends had the same so we would just binge together... I was bad on mdpv and whatever other crap was in those bath salt products for a few months when they were big. And those were just my doc I would do whatever else was handed to me to.. Luckily ( for me) one of my good friends was a bad heroin addict so I knew not to go near opiates to much because I know what it has done to his life. I'm also have bipolar depression (was diagnosed in 7th grade) which I think accounts for my love of drugs anything to make myself happy even though I know that's extremely unhealthy for my body and for my mental state coming off of drugs.

 

[namnoc16]

I'm on pain meds now for legit reasons but my wife has to lock my script in a safe and give me as needed,I'm still a fiend at heart. Getting the monkey off your back is tough but once you do remember he's a jump away from being back there. I wish you luck young buck!

 

[Whitehuey]

I feel you thanks for the advice I need to get back in therapy for my bipolar depression last time I've been to any therapy other than a doc who just writes my scripts each month was the beg. of highschool. I wish you luck too man.

 

[nygiants1313]

Im 25 been there done that. The first drug that was my thing around 16,17 18 was cocaine. (When it was good)

Long story short im turning 26 in a month vern hooked on opiates since 18 and by 21 i was IVing mixed shots of coke and heroin.

There is a chance you end up like that and i truly truly hope for you and your families sake you find away to ask for help before its to late.

Not tryin to scare you and hey maybe you just snap out of it, stop talking to drug friends, getting therapy on your own and are clean forever, but who are we kidding. (No offense)

I WISH i had someone try and talk me straight years ago, now all my "friends" are dead, in and out of rehabs, or on and off suboxone, living at home, no lisence, no future.

Dont let it be you man. In the blink of a fuking eye you will be 25 trust me years go faster and 10x faster when high. Save this message and hmu in a few years and let me know how things are ?

Go on the fight of your life right now before its to late because things spiral fast and i wish my first withdrawal at age 21 was the end. I would honestly give ANYTHING to go back and be done after those 6 days of torture but i knew nothing.

Good luck kid.

 

[cj]

Haveing a dual diagnosis like bipolar makes things much more difficult. I echo what others have said that you should be seeing a proffesional. Preferably a therapist psychiatrist team with experience dealing with bipolar patients. I also think finding a hobby or continuing one you already have is really important. Idle time and boredom is my biggest trigger. Identifying your triggers if you haven't already is really important as well.