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Street Lyfe

deroxor

deroxor

Bluelighter
Joined
Dec 24, 2003
Messages
1,875
Location
Kanada EHHH???
I dunno if this is the right place for this, But i cant really talk to my family or friends about what I do. Im not going to bring up much in this thread about what i do neither.

But at a young age, i thought it was Cool to be "Gangster" or a "Thug" badass. But now, while ive actually lived part of the life, its not all its cracked up to be.

Being addicted to Heroin increased these Acts of "Survival" on my part, and im not ashamed to say ive done some bad things. What I am ashamed of, is putting myself there.

Having a 150$ a day habbit was no joke, and neither was all the negative karma ive most likely gained from being addicted.

Im glad to say im clean now, going on 2 months almost, But my involvement in the streets is still viable to my daily living.

Ive fucked over every legit job ive had, Labeled a thief soo finding real work in my area is kinda hard. All my close friends since childhood have abandoned me, due to my venturing downward spiral.

and even though i took chose the road of recovery, my life is still full of remnants of my former street involvement. the only friends i got now, consist of dope dealers, and shot callers.

Just the other day i watched one of my friends get beat to a bloody pulp, because he fucked up and smoked the dope, he wasn't supposed to be smoking.

It wasnt non of my business to get involve, but still it isnt nice to watch one of your buddies get smashed out and nothing can be done about it.

Fuckin tired of this shit, but i have little ways out. Even myself is a target to some Rival individuals, soo i could have people running up in our joint at any minute ready to bust my head wide open.

Its a harsh reality, but then again this is a harsh world. Sometimes i think suicide is my only way out, But then I often think death should only be glorified through battle.

all i can do is try n keep my nose/veins clean, and stay loyal to my boys. Its funny how ive reduced my life to this almost primitive living situation haha. But a niggas gotta do what a niggas gotta do

Anybody else out ther feel me??? and wish for a better way to live than in this bullshit??
 
Expand your horizons.

There is a huge and spectacular world all around you. Spending your entire life in one hood can make you forget how amazing this life really is.

Best of luck man.
 
Yeah. If you're clean, then you should be able to save that $150/day. Hold onto it, get a bit of a nest egg, then one day just leave. Doesn't matter where, just go. Start fresh. Build some proper work skills, make some 'straight' friends. It's tough to start a new life, but there's no real reason why you can't.
 
Check into a county work/skills program or something, to re-establish yourself as Johnny Briefcase 3000. It works.
I was at one time @ $200 a day. I know exactly where you're coming from. The state wants you to work for them, believe me.
 
My way out seems to be the military in a few years. But with my lack of public education, that might not even be possible. its sort of my backup plan, soo i can travel the world.

And dave, as much as id like to save that ammount of money, the things i was doing to get that money isnt appropriate enough to live normally.

I just wanna hear if anyone else in this community, experiences the harsh underbelly of the streets, or has any war stories, with appropriate meaning behind them.

or advice on living through the madness.

Unless there is another thread with this core topic, life on the streets. In which case you can point me in the direction.
 
The helper of my grandmas grandson was killed brutally first hit to he was in a koma and then shot 3 times in the head and killed and Vira (the helper of my grandma who is also already very old) had to watch everything without yelling. What a harsh worl I think it might be time to move and start a new life bcause chances are your gonna meet one of your delaer friends while depressed and hes gonna give you that bag of heroin you wanted so badly at that point and your gonna end up hooked again. Maby you should just move where none know you. You can make new friends leave all the brutality in the background and live a nev beatiful life :) <3
 
deroxor said:
My way out seems to be the military in a few years. But with my lack of public education, that might not even be possible. its sort of my backup plan, soo i can travel the world.

And dave, as much as id like to save that ammount of money, the things i was doing to get that money isnt appropriate enough to live normally.

I just wanna hear if anyone else in this community, experiences the harsh underbelly of the streets, or has any war stories, with appropriate meaning behind them.

or advice on living through the madness.

Unless there is another thread with this core topic, life on the streets. In which case you can point me in the direction.
Click to expand...

You should make a post about this in the Drug Culture forums. A lot of people there know where you're comming from. I do, but I am not going to talk about it.
 
I can relate, it's so hard to break those old habbits, when you have been living that way so long, idk it kinda stays with you. My advice would be to try to make ammends to all the people you scammed or borrowed money from and never paid it back and stay clean.
 
yeah no shit, im in debt with both of my dope connects lol, but they still keep selling it to me. they dont forget that shit tho. I know ill pay it sooner or later
 
I wish the people at my school could read this. Like my school all thinks this shit is cool, and they try to get tastes of it by becoming weed dealers just for the shits and giggles of being a small time drug dealer, join gangs and get into all these stupid fights/gang wars because of drugs and other stupid shit... That's my rant. Life is going to be tough because of the label that follows you around but you have the potential inside you to change what that label reads :)
 
methkite said:
yeah no shit, im in debt with both of my dope connects lol, but they still keep selling it to me. they dont forget that shit tho. I know ill pay it sooner or later
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I hate to say it, but you might have to flip if you're too far in. Make yourself useful to LE if it keeps you alive and not as paranoid. Most people here won't get that because they just don't know. Ya dig?
 
At least you're making that change and like a few other guys said here to bad stories like this are not shared more often in schools.
Like A lot of you have already said back in my day " 4 years ago " all the kids thought this was the way to live.. fast money and big dreams
then when reality hits.. its usually hits the people around the one who lived the lifestyle.
 
DexterMeth said:
I hate to say it, but you might have to flip if you're too far in. Make yourself useful to LE if it keeps you alive and not as paranoid. Most people here won't get that because they just don't know. Ya dig?
Click to expand...

Ya thats all well and good but LE are sharks and nobody likes a snitch its a good way to end up dead from what ive heard.
 
Do you understand what they dude was saying? He is most likely going to end up dead from his debt even sooner. Of course no one likes a snitch. It's called witness protection, and changing identities.

It's the last thing I would reccomend to him, but if he's poor and deep in, he has much worse problems. Keeping up his "dope street cred yo" is not going to help him in this situation, even though a bunch of people like you guys will be saying, "that's wack man".

Not even sure if this should be a Dark Side thread, but it is for now.
 
DexterMeth said:
Do you understand what they dude was saying? He is most likely going to end up dead from his debt even sooner. Of course no one likes a snitch. It's called witness protection, and changing identities.

It's the last thing I would reccomend to him, but if he's poor and deep in, he has much worse problems. Keeping up his "dope street cred yo" is not going to help him in this situation, even though a bunch of people like you guys will be saying, "that's wack man".

Not even sure if this should be a Dark Side thread, but it is for now.
Click to expand...

It isn't the last thing you recommended to him, it is the first thing you recommended to him! Also, you don't get witness protection for snitching out a couple of dope boys from the block, you watch way to many movies. Maybe YOU should go back to the lounge, because you give shitty ass advice in every thread you post in at TDS
 
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