I have to write. It’s been a while since I’ve done cognitive writing, serious writing. And I suppose I am overwhelmed and feel the need to mention.
It started when I met someone randomly, thrown by fate, into a bar with my parents to have a burger and a few beers. I almost didn’t even go, I just got done hiking and I wanted to watch something on tv, but I went, to have some beers. He was working there, and I recognized him, he waited on us and I got his number eventually.
Then we hung out later that evening and it was like wading into a pool or something, a few things here and there but I had no idea how deeper it would go, proverbially.
I knew him from years and years ago originally, at a recreational deal during the summer, then we saw each other in school, I guess, we both don’t really remember much from that time but and for the first time it occurred to me that there are years and years even before I got really distracted that I just don’t know anything about him.
Ive never ever been so overwhelmed. I figured Id hear some old drug stories, but no, I couldn’t just listen and share along as planned, it was fucked up. It was so fucked up, the things he said, not really bothering me that some things are similar, at least to the point where I could help in any way, it was fucked up.
It was messed up because of what was going on, something bad. I wanted to tell him, “you might as well go back to doing heroin because in all honestly compared to what you are doing A LOT right now, what you went through with heroin is actually better for you in every way possible almost than what you are doing now.” But I couldn’t say that, what if he actually did it, or what if it really upset him. I had to watch what I said a lot, I sensed a lot of guilt and hate he had concerning himself.
The worst part about it was the first 15 minutes of when he really got into it, in that amount of time I was assaulted aurally by the facts, his brain damage from accidents, one of which was Benzo withdrawal Syndrome that caused a seizure which caused him to crash his car, as his head went through the metal part of the door. There were other brain injuries but his equilibrium is absolutely damaged still, either from the accident, the benzo and alcohol use, or both. That is the wild card, that is the great structure to this tower of bad he is completely and absolutely chemically dependant on benzodiazepins. He did steady amounts of large over medical dose and then he drinks a specific vodka. He also mentions that the blackouts which I’m not sure what the exact cause is from, get worse after he gets fucked up on the terrible, brain melting combination. He mentions he will quit, but he doesn’t want to talk about it, it is an absolute mammoth of a dependency, he is physically and mentally addicted and chemically dependant on benzos, and drinking on top of benzos causes the chemical compound to change, which I know can have very dangerous chemical changes, some temporary changes and some very permanent chemical brain damage.
I don’t know what to do, I am completely overwhelmed. I have never had such a large and complicated case to deal with when I help someone in this way.
I will continue as I see fit, and for posting purposes, this will be posted on no more than 2 other sources, as I see fit, including this source. I own all rights to what I say, which should go without saying.
It started when I met someone randomly, thrown by fate, into a bar with my parents to have a burger and a few beers. I almost didn’t even go, I just got done hiking and I wanted to watch something on tv, but I went, to have some beers. He was working there, and I recognized him, he waited on us and I got his number eventually.
Then we hung out later that evening and it was like wading into a pool or something, a few things here and there but I had no idea how deeper it would go, proverbially.
I knew him from years and years ago originally, at a recreational deal during the summer, then we saw each other in school, I guess, we both don’t really remember much from that time but and for the first time it occurred to me that there are years and years even before I got really distracted that I just don’t know anything about him.
Ive never ever been so overwhelmed. I figured Id hear some old drug stories, but no, I couldn’t just listen and share along as planned, it was fucked up. It was so fucked up, the things he said, not really bothering me that some things are similar, at least to the point where I could help in any way, it was fucked up.
It was messed up because of what was going on, something bad. I wanted to tell him, “you might as well go back to doing heroin because in all honestly compared to what you are doing A LOT right now, what you went through with heroin is actually better for you in every way possible almost than what you are doing now.” But I couldn’t say that, what if he actually did it, or what if it really upset him. I had to watch what I said a lot, I sensed a lot of guilt and hate he had concerning himself.
The worst part about it was the first 15 minutes of when he really got into it, in that amount of time I was assaulted aurally by the facts, his brain damage from accidents, one of which was Benzo withdrawal Syndrome that caused a seizure which caused him to crash his car, as his head went through the metal part of the door. There were other brain injuries but his equilibrium is absolutely damaged still, either from the accident, the benzo and alcohol use, or both. That is the wild card, that is the great structure to this tower of bad he is completely and absolutely chemically dependant on benzodiazepins. He did steady amounts of large over medical dose and then he drinks a specific vodka. He also mentions that the blackouts which I’m not sure what the exact cause is from, get worse after he gets fucked up on the terrible, brain melting combination. He mentions he will quit, but he doesn’t want to talk about it, it is an absolute mammoth of a dependency, he is physically and mentally addicted and chemically dependant on benzos, and drinking on top of benzos causes the chemical compound to change, which I know can have very dangerous chemical changes, some temporary changes and some very permanent chemical brain damage.
I don’t know what to do, I am completely overwhelmed. I have never had such a large and complicated case to deal with when I help someone in this way.
I will continue as I see fit, and for posting purposes, this will be posted on no more than 2 other sources, as I see fit, including this source. I own all rights to what I say, which should go without saying.
