Listening to: Sexgang Children mix (early 1980s postpunk/Batcave sound)
There's a Winter potluck for work coming up soon. Traditionally at a potluck, everyone who attends brings some kind of HOMEMADE food item and shares it as a group meal. So, almost always, it's something each person makes themselves. But for me, this does not work.
I can't co0ok. In fact, I'm dangerous in the kitchen. For example, one time, I wanted to cook a steak. It went badly. I started a fire and burned my chest and foot while trying to fry the steak in a pan of olive oil. (I used olive oil because I had heard that it is good for you, and as a bonus for a college student with little money, the deli next door to where I lived sold large cans of olive oil for an economical price.) I had filled a large frying pan to the top (with olive oil) and turned the burner on high. Adding the steak caused it to overflow. Not only that, but when I put the steak into the HOT oil, the oil started crackling and hot drops spattered out of the pan and onto my bare arms and hands. Then, the pan of oil started smoking, so I tried to take it off the burner to prevent a fire. In my panic, I had jerked the pan away, and smoking oil sloshed out of the overflowing pan and onto my chest, my foot, the stove, the burner and caught fire. Another time, I gave myself explosive diarrhea after trying to make a kind of barley/yak butter snack. (A Tibetan monk I knew had turned me onto it and said it was easy to make.) So, after these and many other failed attempts at cooking, I've realized that it's better for me to not even try and to leave it to the professionals. In the years since then, for food, I have tried to make sure my apartment is next to a deli or restaurant.
The last potluck I went to, my gf made something. Somosas, I think they were called. Before that, I faked it. I bought some potato salad from the deli next door. I dumped it all out of the container it came in so nobody would see the deli's label and know for sure that I had bought it. HTen i put it in a plastic Rubbermade (like tupperware) container. It was good. I got lots of complemetns on that one, and I never let the cat out of the bag. The deli was owned by a Lebanese family.
I don't live any where near a deli anymore and my gf is out of town (I'm loving the peace and quiet.). So, I'm trying to think of what to bring. OK, I thought of somethign so simple, even I can make this. Years ago, I went to a club and they were playing short films. One was a series of parody home cooking shows for inept people. The recipes were very simple. The firwst dish was called "Pickle Surprise." Where's the pickle? That was the surprise. YUCK. Scratch that one. Another, and this one is promissing, was titled "Strawberry Shortcut." I'ts simple. Basically, you buy a shortcake from a grocery store and put it in a big tupperware container so it looks homemade and the container won't leak. Then you pour a can of 7UP over it. Then put a container of Cool Whip (whipcream) and strawberries on top. Maybe. Or, on second thought, maybe I should find a deli. I don't know what to do.
There's a Winter potluck for work coming up soon. Traditionally at a potluck, everyone who attends brings some kind of HOMEMADE food item and shares it as a group meal. So, almost always, it's something each person makes themselves. But for me, this does not work.
I can't co0ok. In fact, I'm dangerous in the kitchen. For example, one time, I wanted to cook a steak. It went badly. I started a fire and burned my chest and foot while trying to fry the steak in a pan of olive oil. (I used olive oil because I had heard that it is good for you, and as a bonus for a college student with little money, the deli next door to where I lived sold large cans of olive oil for an economical price.) I had filled a large frying pan to the top (with olive oil) and turned the burner on high. Adding the steak caused it to overflow. Not only that, but when I put the steak into the HOT oil, the oil started crackling and hot drops spattered out of the pan and onto my bare arms and hands. Then, the pan of oil started smoking, so I tried to take it off the burner to prevent a fire. In my panic, I had jerked the pan away, and smoking oil sloshed out of the overflowing pan and onto my chest, my foot, the stove, the burner and caught fire. Another time, I gave myself explosive diarrhea after trying to make a kind of barley/yak butter snack. (A Tibetan monk I knew had turned me onto it and said it was easy to make.) So, after these and many other failed attempts at cooking, I've realized that it's better for me to not even try and to leave it to the professionals. In the years since then, for food, I have tried to make sure my apartment is next to a deli or restaurant.
The last potluck I went to, my gf made something. Somosas, I think they were called. Before that, I faked it. I bought some potato salad from the deli next door. I dumped it all out of the container it came in so nobody would see the deli's label and know for sure that I had bought it. HTen i put it in a plastic Rubbermade (like tupperware) container. It was good. I got lots of complemetns on that one, and I never let the cat out of the bag. The deli was owned by a Lebanese family.
I don't live any where near a deli anymore and my gf is out of town (I'm loving the peace and quiet.). So, I'm trying to think of what to bring. OK, I thought of somethign so simple, even I can make this. Years ago, I went to a club and they were playing short films. One was a series of parody home cooking shows for inept people. The recipes were very simple. The firwst dish was called "Pickle Surprise." Where's the pickle? That was the surprise. YUCK. Scratch that one. Another, and this one is promissing, was titled "Strawberry Shortcut." I'ts simple. Basically, you buy a shortcake from a grocery store and put it in a big tupperware container so it looks homemade and the container won't leak. Then you pour a can of 7UP over it. Then put a container of Cool Whip (whipcream) and strawberries on top. Maybe. Or, on second thought, maybe I should find a deli. I don't know what to do.
