one more sleep and i shall be raising my glow sticks and popping some pills.
dappas birthday bash, everything is sorted just got to arrive and party.
last night was a strange sleep. after sulking all night at the other half for blowing 130 quid a month on a course he wont do. 6grand man its a lot of dollar when we got a house to run and kids to feed...finally came to a compromise tho, he does the course every other day atleast or its getting cancelled. i amsticking to it aswell.
its been a pretty good atmosphere in this house other than that tho. no real arguments, sleeping ok i suppose. getting on with tasks around the house. i want the house junk free asap. sick of hoarding. yes i am liking the start to 2011! its gunna be a good one. only thing is we are making all these plans to go to all these events and people seem to be forgetting i may be pregnant by next month. suppose its nice to have something else to occupy my mind tho. if all else fails atleast i can attend the events.
now about my dream!
so wot i can rememebr am sat on a wall and nichola comes up to me..i put my hands out and am speechless i dont wanna shout at her but i dont wanna talk to her...she grabs my hands in a loving gesture and i am immediately sucked in, i want to cry, we talk and i say to her i dont know if she realised she was trying to hurt me or not. its pretty black from here i can rememebr that before hand i was with joanne and knew i should be talking to nichola but i am weak to her powers of manipulation. i go with her somewhere...we seem to be on a park. she is intoxicated...we talk. something happens i cant remember what, her two oldest sons are there and another girl in glasses i dont think i know her. i talk about how i have to leave...i see jamie pull up. i move away...she tells me he hit her and she is crying i stay with her feleing sorry for her..i find out somehow she is lying and i am trapped there with her. i want out, i try to ring joanne...i see her and i know i am safe. i wake up...from this point i am desperate to go back to sleep to know what happens next but instead lay there thinkin about it. is it because deep down i miss the good in nichola? was there any good in her? maybe its because i know there is a chance she will be there tomorro. i hate her for what she did i can never forgive and my life is so much better without her.
dappas birthday bash, everything is sorted just got to arrive and party.
last night was a strange sleep. after sulking all night at the other half for blowing 130 quid a month on a course he wont do. 6grand man its a lot of dollar when we got a house to run and kids to feed...finally came to a compromise tho, he does the course every other day atleast or its getting cancelled. i amsticking to it aswell.
its been a pretty good atmosphere in this house other than that tho. no real arguments, sleeping ok i suppose. getting on with tasks around the house. i want the house junk free asap. sick of hoarding. yes i am liking the start to 2011! its gunna be a good one. only thing is we are making all these plans to go to all these events and people seem to be forgetting i may be pregnant by next month. suppose its nice to have something else to occupy my mind tho. if all else fails atleast i can attend the events.
now about my dream!
so wot i can rememebr am sat on a wall and nichola comes up to me..i put my hands out and am speechless i dont wanna shout at her but i dont wanna talk to her...she grabs my hands in a loving gesture and i am immediately sucked in, i want to cry, we talk and i say to her i dont know if she realised she was trying to hurt me or not. its pretty black from here i can rememebr that before hand i was with joanne and knew i should be talking to nichola but i am weak to her powers of manipulation. i go with her somewhere...we seem to be on a park. she is intoxicated...we talk. something happens i cant remember what, her two oldest sons are there and another girl in glasses i dont think i know her. i talk about how i have to leave...i see jamie pull up. i move away...she tells me he hit her and she is crying i stay with her feleing sorry for her..i find out somehow she is lying and i am trapped there with her. i want out, i try to ring joanne...i see her and i know i am safe. i wake up...from this point i am desperate to go back to sleep to know what happens next but instead lay there thinkin about it. is it because deep down i miss the good in nichola? was there any good in her? maybe its because i know there is a chance she will be there tomorro. i hate her for what she did i can never forgive and my life is so much better without her.