TheDeceased
Ex-Bluelighter
The fat old man sat in the park.
Although oblivious to this fact throughout his entire life, he had just realized recently that he was in fact a worthless piece of shit. He had no accomplishments to speak of, no relationships. Hell, he hadn’t even had sex. He had spent his entire life too anxious to ever take a step back and actually see himself, focusing practically all of his energy in trying to be something that he wasn’t, trying to fit in, trying to be liked, trying to be successful. He had prioritized this quest so highly, in fact, that he had neglected to ever consider what he actually wanted in life. And now, after completely giving up on it all and accepting himself for who he was, his needs and desires had emerged for the first time like a monster out of the swamp.
He felt like he was going through some sort of mental puberty. Women had appeared all around him, wearing short skirts and skimpy tops and though logically he knew that they had really been there all along it still felt like an invasion. He couldn’t turn his head in any direction without seeing huge breasts wobbling down the sidewalk or practically invisible pants, leaving nothing to the imagination. Having had no experience with these feelings before, he didn’t know how to behave so he simply turned his gaze away, until often – due to the sheer number of women around him – he had to look at the ground.
So anyway, one day this fat old man was sitting in the park trying not to look at women when he heard a rustling in the bushes. A distraction, he thought with a sense of relief, finally! I can do some bird watching. That’ll take my mind off all these women.
But the rustling got louder and was eventually followed by the snap of a tree branch. He soon realized that it wasn’t a bird in the bushes at all. Terrified, he imagined dozens of snakes flying out from the grass and wrapping around his head. And just as he was about to make a wild run for it, a tree branch moved to one side and a girl appeared from out of the shrubs, brushing herself off. They’re everywhere! he gasped, almost more terrified at the prospect of this girl than he was of the snakes. Then another girl appeared, more beautiful than the last, followed by a third. It was as if the forrest was giving birth to a litter of teenage models.
All three of them turned and approached him and, as if they hadn’t even noticed that he was staring, sat down directly beside him, squeezing onto his park bench. His heart raced faster than he thought was humanly possible and he started to seriously question whether what was happening to him was real.
One of the girls produced a small paper bag from her pocket and emptied the contents into her hand. He had to squint at them before he realized what they were.
“Pretty slim pickings,” the blonde said, “but at least we found something I guess.”
“I think someone else took all the big ones before we got here. These are just babies.”
“They’re cute,” said the girl sitting directly beside him, so close that she was touching his leg with her own.
Finally the man, who had been blatantly eavesdropping throughout the entire conversation, managed to speak.
“Are those mushrooms?” was all that he said.
“Magic mushrooms,” responded the blonde and she grabbed one of the mushrooms from her friends palm, leaned over the other girls, and put the tiny little thing directly into his line of vision. “See the blue veins? That means they’re special.”
“Don’t say that to him. He could be a cop!”
“He’s not a cop. He’s a fucking square.”
“Let’s get out of here. We’ll come back tommorow morning.”
And at that, they were gone.
The most exciting sexual experience of his life was over.
He was convinced that he had fallen in love. With which girl he wasn’t too sure – but the feeling was there nonetheless. Then in horror he realized that she would never feel it too. They were from different worlds like Romeo and Juliet. A love destined to fail.
The fat old man began to cry.
Later while masturbating he came up with what he thought was undoubtedly the greatest idea of his pathetic little life. He knew what he had been put on this planet to do. That night he slept the soundest sleep that he ever had. He dreamt of the girls. Of running through the fields. Of idle half clothed conversations, like he’d seen in the movies.
He dreamt of love.
He woke up early the next morning and went down to the park with a shovel and a straw.
The sun was shining and the birds were chirping. It was a beatiful day. He found himself smiling and saying a hello to someone and then soon realized that it wasn’t fake. He was genuinely happy.
When he was certain that no one else was around he cheerfully ducked behind the bushes and dug a shallow grave in the tanbark. Then, with the straw held firmly between his teeth and his erect penis exposed, he lay down in the grave and carefully covered himself with bark, which turned out to be harder than he thought. In the end, the only thing left exposed was a big mushroom with blue veins. The trap had been set.
For the next twenty or so minutes he struggled to maintain his erection, going over and over the memory of the girls in his head. And then, finally, he heard them. His heart skipped a beat and he kept perfectly still. At first it was just a tree branch and some leaves but then came the voices. Those young, playful voices. He felt like he was going to explode already. It was just too much for him to handle. A beautiful girl, the love of his life, was about to touch him in a place that nobody else ever had. He realized horrifically that he was going to have the orgasm before she did so and began to use every cell in his brain to prevent it from happening. His legs went numb and the noises got closer. He felt like it was going to come out of his ears and just as he could contain it no longer, he felt cold metal against his flesh and he ejaculated more intensely than he ever had before. It felt as if his penis had shot out of his body like a bullet.
Less than a second later, he felt the most painful sensation he had ever felt. Mixed with the throbbing pain, he heard one of the girls voices, fading away in the distance saying, “We’ve got your penis pervert!” and when his thighs became wet with blood he realized that it had acually happened. They had decapitated his little head. Dismembered his cucumber.
As he lay there, breathing heavily through his straw and rapidly losing consciousness, he thought to himself with a sigh of relief - “Well I don’t have to worry about that anymore.”
Although oblivious to this fact throughout his entire life, he had just realized recently that he was in fact a worthless piece of shit. He had no accomplishments to speak of, no relationships. Hell, he hadn’t even had sex. He had spent his entire life too anxious to ever take a step back and actually see himself, focusing practically all of his energy in trying to be something that he wasn’t, trying to fit in, trying to be liked, trying to be successful. He had prioritized this quest so highly, in fact, that he had neglected to ever consider what he actually wanted in life. And now, after completely giving up on it all and accepting himself for who he was, his needs and desires had emerged for the first time like a monster out of the swamp.
He felt like he was going through some sort of mental puberty. Women had appeared all around him, wearing short skirts and skimpy tops and though logically he knew that they had really been there all along it still felt like an invasion. He couldn’t turn his head in any direction without seeing huge breasts wobbling down the sidewalk or practically invisible pants, leaving nothing to the imagination. Having had no experience with these feelings before, he didn’t know how to behave so he simply turned his gaze away, until often – due to the sheer number of women around him – he had to look at the ground.
So anyway, one day this fat old man was sitting in the park trying not to look at women when he heard a rustling in the bushes. A distraction, he thought with a sense of relief, finally! I can do some bird watching. That’ll take my mind off all these women.
But the rustling got louder and was eventually followed by the snap of a tree branch. He soon realized that it wasn’t a bird in the bushes at all. Terrified, he imagined dozens of snakes flying out from the grass and wrapping around his head. And just as he was about to make a wild run for it, a tree branch moved to one side and a girl appeared from out of the shrubs, brushing herself off. They’re everywhere! he gasped, almost more terrified at the prospect of this girl than he was of the snakes. Then another girl appeared, more beautiful than the last, followed by a third. It was as if the forrest was giving birth to a litter of teenage models.
All three of them turned and approached him and, as if they hadn’t even noticed that he was staring, sat down directly beside him, squeezing onto his park bench. His heart raced faster than he thought was humanly possible and he started to seriously question whether what was happening to him was real.
One of the girls produced a small paper bag from her pocket and emptied the contents into her hand. He had to squint at them before he realized what they were.
“Pretty slim pickings,” the blonde said, “but at least we found something I guess.”
“I think someone else took all the big ones before we got here. These are just babies.”
“They’re cute,” said the girl sitting directly beside him, so close that she was touching his leg with her own.
Finally the man, who had been blatantly eavesdropping throughout the entire conversation, managed to speak.
“Are those mushrooms?” was all that he said.
“Magic mushrooms,” responded the blonde and she grabbed one of the mushrooms from her friends palm, leaned over the other girls, and put the tiny little thing directly into his line of vision. “See the blue veins? That means they’re special.”
“Don’t say that to him. He could be a cop!”
“He’s not a cop. He’s a fucking square.”
“Let’s get out of here. We’ll come back tommorow morning.”
And at that, they were gone.
The most exciting sexual experience of his life was over.
He was convinced that he had fallen in love. With which girl he wasn’t too sure – but the feeling was there nonetheless. Then in horror he realized that she would never feel it too. They were from different worlds like Romeo and Juliet. A love destined to fail.
The fat old man began to cry.
Later while masturbating he came up with what he thought was undoubtedly the greatest idea of his pathetic little life. He knew what he had been put on this planet to do. That night he slept the soundest sleep that he ever had. He dreamt of the girls. Of running through the fields. Of idle half clothed conversations, like he’d seen in the movies.
He dreamt of love.
He woke up early the next morning and went down to the park with a shovel and a straw.
The sun was shining and the birds were chirping. It was a beatiful day. He found himself smiling and saying a hello to someone and then soon realized that it wasn’t fake. He was genuinely happy.
When he was certain that no one else was around he cheerfully ducked behind the bushes and dug a shallow grave in the tanbark. Then, with the straw held firmly between his teeth and his erect penis exposed, he lay down in the grave and carefully covered himself with bark, which turned out to be harder than he thought. In the end, the only thing left exposed was a big mushroom with blue veins. The trap had been set.
For the next twenty or so minutes he struggled to maintain his erection, going over and over the memory of the girls in his head. And then, finally, he heard them. His heart skipped a beat and he kept perfectly still. At first it was just a tree branch and some leaves but then came the voices. Those young, playful voices. He felt like he was going to explode already. It was just too much for him to handle. A beautiful girl, the love of his life, was about to touch him in a place that nobody else ever had. He realized horrifically that he was going to have the orgasm before she did so and began to use every cell in his brain to prevent it from happening. His legs went numb and the noises got closer. He felt like it was going to come out of his ears and just as he could contain it no longer, he felt cold metal against his flesh and he ejaculated more intensely than he ever had before. It felt as if his penis had shot out of his body like a bullet.
Less than a second later, he felt the most painful sensation he had ever felt. Mixed with the throbbing pain, he heard one of the girls voices, fading away in the distance saying, “We’ve got your penis pervert!” and when his thighs became wet with blood he realized that it had acually happened. They had decapitated his little head. Dismembered his cucumber.
As he lay there, breathing heavily through his straw and rapidly losing consciousness, he thought to himself with a sigh of relief - “Well I don’t have to worry about that anymore.”
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