stop thinking!

Ive been working pretty hard on improving my life since quitting meth. Its over 6 months now. Im doing pretty good, but still fall into stupid thinking patterns and start reliving things that have happened in the past.

I dont know why I let people I dont talk to anymore get into my brain. I dont know what upset me more today- seeing Mel banned or ?for some reason? My message to her removed.

Thats all just silly. Why would I even have concern that someone I know got a lot out of this place was banned anyway? Is it a big deal to her? Why would it be to me ?

Why am I thinking about this, its easter and Ben is here and we are enjoying the time we have together.

Oh well. She will probably be one of those people who Ill always wonder about, whats going on with them, if they are happy. Was bound to happen one day.

I wonder about too many people when I should just forget them and live for the now.

 

I've always liked the adage: "Forgive, but never forget". That goes both ways I think; you can remove people from your lives, but no matter how much you want to you can never really forget them. I can still remember the names and faces of every single childhood friend, bully and around 90% of my classmates from elementary school-- even though I haven't seen any of them (save maybe 2) since 1992.

It's a bit of an odd source to find inspiration, but I saw a strip in American Elf that outlined "The three aspects of reality". The first is the physical realm, the second is the realm of our minds and imagination-- our internal lives, and the third is our existence in the thoughts of others. I had never considered that before, but we do exist to some small degree as a part of every person we meet. Whether for good or for bad, people stay with us.

Pardon the rant, I'm a bit sleepy. Also, American Elf is a great webcomic, but like most of them it really pays to read it from the start. Each comic is insignificant, but as a whole they're brilliant.