frostyangel
Bluelighter
I did it once again,
I fooled myself into
believing that I could be
something special..
Sitting here as the hours
pass,slowly. Knowing that
you will not be coming.
Wondering why is that, I got
myself all pretty, to flip
channels on The WB...for noone
to see...
And the funny part of this
nite was that I knew,
it was to good to be true.
What purpose is for this life,
who sat down and said,
this is that path you'll choose.
This is all the ways you'll feel
the blues, and I couldn't understand
why I needed this certainty to survive.
I needed this special feeling of power
to feel love like no other, and I was
left with nothing but these tears.
Reality sucks, that's why I did those
things to forget, but there
in my mind was this unknown character
of what I needed to see..
I'm beginning to wonder who I am,
I think I left myself back there at the
door, when you asked me to enter you
life.
I wanted to know myself for once,
I wanted to be so sure of who I am.
Trying to rediscover this tonite.
And I didn't want to cry the lonelines
anymore, I didn't know why I woke
up yet again, to see your face when
I knew it would only bring me pain.
And I twisted the front of my hair
just way you liked it, so it would look
like a chocolate and vanilla swirl...
and it was all cause I knew I would
see you, and did you even notice
the emptiness you left in my eyes.
I didn't know where I was going
so wrong that you couldn't even
find the importance in me.
Why do I have to feel so god damn
left out, not just out of someone elses'
life, but my own happiness.....
This darkness that breeds through,
the nite, suffocates me, and I want
to give up, with every last being of my
will...and you somehow, still make me
think that tomorrow you might change
the way, you think of me, and why is
there this incredible desire to be with
what chooses not me....
Hoping that the excuse you give me,
will make me smile and feel silly for
being so angry. Where all my friends
will tell me they told me so....
And still I sit here with all these tears
of what emotions, I really don't know.
But tomorrow is my new day to come,
and I will awake to what is another misleading
time period in my life. And I'll think of you,
and I'll put my hair in that ponytail.
And smile...cause that is what I should do.
And I will try and tell myself all the ways to
forget about you, and I don't know if I can find
that strength.
But tonite I'll tell myself how I don't need you.
[ 11 May 2002: Message edited by: frostyangel ]
I fooled myself into
believing that I could be
something special..
Sitting here as the hours
pass,slowly. Knowing that
you will not be coming.
Wondering why is that, I got
myself all pretty, to flip
channels on The WB...for noone
to see...
And the funny part of this
nite was that I knew,
it was to good to be true.
What purpose is for this life,
who sat down and said,
this is that path you'll choose.
This is all the ways you'll feel
the blues, and I couldn't understand
why I needed this certainty to survive.
I needed this special feeling of power
to feel love like no other, and I was
left with nothing but these tears.
Reality sucks, that's why I did those
things to forget, but there
in my mind was this unknown character
of what I needed to see..
I'm beginning to wonder who I am,
I think I left myself back there at the
door, when you asked me to enter you
life.
I wanted to know myself for once,
I wanted to be so sure of who I am.
Trying to rediscover this tonite.
And I didn't want to cry the lonelines
anymore, I didn't know why I woke
up yet again, to see your face when
I knew it would only bring me pain.
And I twisted the front of my hair
just way you liked it, so it would look
like a chocolate and vanilla swirl...
and it was all cause I knew I would
see you, and did you even notice
the emptiness you left in my eyes.
I didn't know where I was going
so wrong that you couldn't even
find the importance in me.
Why do I have to feel so god damn
left out, not just out of someone elses'
life, but my own happiness.....
This darkness that breeds through,
the nite, suffocates me, and I want
to give up, with every last being of my
will...and you somehow, still make me
think that tomorrow you might change
the way, you think of me, and why is
there this incredible desire to be with
what chooses not me....
Hoping that the excuse you give me,
will make me smile and feel silly for
being so angry. Where all my friends
will tell me they told me so....
And still I sit here with all these tears
of what emotions, I really don't know.
But tomorrow is my new day to come,
and I will awake to what is another misleading
time period in my life. And I'll think of you,
and I'll put my hair in that ponytail.
And smile...cause that is what I should do.
And I will try and tell myself all the ways to
forget about you, and I don't know if I can find
that strength.
But tonite I'll tell myself how I don't need you.
[ 11 May 2002: Message edited by: frostyangel ]
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