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Stolen Time

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Wordplay exquisite, unknown and unseen
A clean break to take what is mine - the moment
Your moment, shown to me by thousands of instants
Like blood dripping down from a sacrificial wound
Your life pooling before me as I stir the mass
This impasse passed only by surrendering your mind
An unkind bind to tear apart disposables
A memory passed to jog kindled light
I am who I was and what you will be
I come to take what you'll never see
The heart of the innocent, just for the one called me.
 
I was reading some poetic theory two nights ago and found an essay regarding the use of vagueness in description and imagery and, more specifically, the use of abstractions. Well, here you have this line:

"Your moment, shown to me by thousands of instants"

This is a very vague, but very meaningful. It is sort of an abstraction, albeit not in the most traditional sense. But it is an emotive, unqualified description. Yet, you earn it. That was what this essay was pretty much about: how to earn abstraction and nebulousness. You continue:

"Like blood dripping down from a sacrificial wound"

Through metaphor (simile, in this case), you emotionally qualify the statement. Of course, the action isn't entirely clear here (though it is elsewhere), but my point is that you are allowing yourself room to be abstract by providing specific grounding in the form of metaphor.

It's an example of something I'm trying to fit into my own poetry, to be honest. I'm very much an imagist (in that I use imagery to drive my poems, not that I am actually of the "Imagist" school, lol), and have been trying to use abstractions that I then "earn" via imagery. But here, you show it can be done also through metaphor.

I'm not entirely sure what I'm driving at. But overall, this is a great poem. Just wanted to point out that one part I really liked. I feel it is enlightening for me in my own work. Thanks for writing this and sharing it. As a writer, all reading is learning.
 
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Thanks. I really appreciate your comments. I'm not too familiar at all with poetic theory, so thanks for that. :)
 
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