Stimulant (amphetamine-like) addiction has to stop

[Tony Williams]

I've been addicted/dependent to multiple drugs in my time, the worst being Ritalin (or Ethylphenadate). I decided to store what I had a way from here and keep the bit. It's all ethyl but I am only oral dosing as part of getting off iv/snorting it and I did <>5g/500ml (finshed + made 10.02g to 500ml). I dose it in mls, lately overall I have been getting to sleep per day rather than a good few months ago when I would be just doing 2-3days crash and carry on and be using heroin alot.

On my 2 week holday around x/mas I felt great I used diaz and gbl alot though but energy, sleep was much better this is taking into account I had 4mg/day bupe (over 16mgday). The things that I never did were "opiates (non-bupe)", IV-use and any sort of stimulent (bar caffiene). I was happy and eating alot more. Over the holiday I craved opiates a bit, ethyl/concerta ALOT and IVing a tad (I did even picup pins to handle blood draw for the sake of a needle fixation.

So one thing was I was on bupe scripted, but still using - I lost treatment, and used Methadone oral (as it was all I could get) now oddly I felt great, straight on it and 0-opiate craving. I used it and rather than bupe I stuck to it as my script and I can say I have been clean off opiates and IV use. COMPLETELY.

What is triggering me iv/h use is my use of ethylphenadate and winding up 6am doing summit time wasting and not sleeping then balancing it with heroin. So past 3 day

thur-Friday 4am till 5pm (long sleep, got me methadone but I woke with 6ml-7ml)
Wed-Thur sleep for like 4hr
tue-wed NO sleep stupidly (rarer nowadays)

About 100ml+ left so I kept back 3ml and poured it down the toilet. If "crash or feel like doing any I will stick to 1ml-2ml and sleep)

From tomorrow I plan on not using ANY.

I am gunna type up more after tea

 

[Tony Williams]

OK had tea, eat it all so the rest:

So why do I take it? When I have other stimulents (meph, etc) and have kicked gear?

Overall I've a problem with concentration, motivation. I had add - so the "right amount" of concerta/eth is great in the morning then a redose. Now originally 72mg concerta (whole) and 18mg concerta (crushed, oral) or =20mg ritalin was great. With more work load and stuff to do, my head was programmed into take more and let it drive you into the tasks. Thats the problem some works but too much and my head is overstimmed and I find I've wasted time on unimportant tasks) I've had concertas and eth crystal almost daily for a year now. About 6 month -2 year before I did get 10mg ritalins in bulk and snorted daily and thta worked but ran out and left it till a year ago now its too easy to get. It's improved lately alot though swap to oral eth and get sleep.

Drugs I use apart from it are gbl and methadone/diaz (maintence)

I wanna get supplements sorted I use a store brand similer to Bercocca Boost (when thats out an energy based vit and without guara I will get seperate). Also I am suppost to use Oxiracetam 2.5g twice (daily but actually forget due to the eth). I have BCAA, Protein, Complan supps.

I am yet to find people with my same problem. I stated amphetamine-like (pretty much eth though) but if it was amphetamine I'd be using that but amphetamine I get worse addiction/abuse/side effects and it doesn't do the job as good and due to it being a kids drug and me finding it worse than heroin I am never taken serious. I often drink energy drinks (monster is fav) but was gunna use them/cofee/tea as a replacement or something like Modnafil?

I have also which I heard would help is Mirtazapine (stim addiction not motivation) so unsure if I should use it. I cannot disscuss with my doctor as my methadone would be cut off.

Reasons to not use:
Weight lose (jeans are no longer fitting)
Motivation being uneven
overall health
triggering of other drugs (ie, used to be heroin)
Sleep being uneven/messed up
some might help but I cannot use properly
Want to gain weight, weight train

I hope in a few days I come here and I've not used it since and again in a week to a point I don't start up again.