I'm glad I didn't give in to the temptation to pop some Rx painkillers even though I had a migraine that lasted 2 days. I've been doing prayer and meditation every day probably since the end of August. Unlike drugs, the effects are more subtle and not immediate but better in the long run. It looks like I will be in a recovery home for 90 days as ordered by the court sometime mid December. It sure is a whole lot easier having to report to a probation officer every 2 weeks clean because it saves a lot of useless wasted energy on stupid fear. That said, I'm glad to be clean. I have wanted to feel the warm embrace of opiates a few times, but knew the price for now is just too high. Also, odd as it sounds I feel a certain responsibility towards my jail house friends in Tank 8 to stay clean. I've kept my promises to them, did what I said I'd do plus written to them. This demonstrates that if I can stay clean on the outside even though the odds say it's unlikely then so can they. If anything, I want to serve as a beacon of hope.
I think what you're doing for yourself as well as your friends is a wonderful thing. Keep up the good work, and God bless!
I am thankful that your outlook has changed for the better. For me, it was scary at first, like all the emotions, and sense of awareness that was significantly dulled by opiates. The term clean often has such a negative affect. I see it as an unburdening, unveiling of personal blindness. And as much as you may feel responsible for others choices, stay strong for yourself and perhaps in time you might inspire those around that care about you. I like to think of it like kinetic energy. :D If you ever need someone to talk to, or just a kind word or two, hit me up love. Wishing you well, dear. xx
You truly are a beacon of hope TJS, well done, take care and stay safe.