TDS Still cant believe it...

[Readbetweentheline]

Sorry mods if this is in the wrong place...feel free to move it.

I just found out that a old friend of mine commited suicide about 2 weeks ago. I hadnt been in contact with her for over 2 years now as she fell off the wagon and I needed to put boundaries up in order to keep my recovery safe. Now I hear that she is dead yesterday - noone told me and I missed her funeral.

I feel this deep sadness and all I want to do is call her or see her and give her a big hug. But I cant. And I feel so much guilt for not being there for her.

My question is...since I missed her funeral (which I was very upset about) how can I find some type closure. I just cant stop thinking about her.

 

[Tommyboy]

Can you find out where she was buried and visit the grave?

 

[Readbetweentheline]

Shes been cremated - however I could find out if they have organised a plot for her ashes. I just dont want to bother her family too much because they are going through hell at the moment.

 

[Tommyboy]

^ They might like to hear from an old friend to share some memories about her with.

 

[spork]

I'm so sorry, I know the kind of pain you're in right now and it hurts very deeply. A couple other ideas for you to cope is to find out if there were any memorial funds set up and possibly donate if there was or pick up some kind of hobby that she liked as sort of a tribute to her. If you have any mutual friends it might help to talk to them about it as well. You also might want to consider talking to a counselor or therapist about this. It helps to just talk about your feelings with someone. Writing helps too sometimes, you can check out our Grief Bereavement Thread to do so or you may just choose to write about it privately.

Feeling guilty right now is only natural, but please understand that you had to do what you did for you and you did do the right thing. Take care of yourself. (((Hugs)))